Forum home You & Your Baby

One or two?

My LO has just turned 18 months and we're starting to have the conversation about whether or not to have another one. I don't think I can picture us with another one but is that really selfish? I don't know anybody who is an only child to ask how they felt about their childhood. She's really close with her cousin so I don't think she would be lonely but I'd hate to think of her missing out on that bond as I'm really close with my sister. On the other hand, financially we could provide her with a lot more if there was just her and I know it sounds stupid but I don't know whether I could love another one as much. I know it's a decision nobody else can make for us but would love other people's experience/opinions.


  • SpangleSpangle Posts: 82

    Both myself and my fiance are only children, yet our childhoods could not have been more different. 

    He lived with his cousins at some points in his childhood and the house was always busy with family etc so he was never bored or had no one to play with. My childhood on the other hand was the opposite. I very rarely saw my cousins, family were not over frequently and when they were it was hassle. I wasn't allowed friends over either (lived in a flat and the elderly neighbours would grumble). So I was always bored...

    I don't think you're being selfish. My OH and I, both agree that we would rather give one child the best then have two and get by.... 

    I know my friend wanted a second kid as she wanted her first child to have that bond she has with her brother. I can understand that to a point, but being a only child I don't obviously understand it fully. The cousins my OH lived with are like his little bro and sis, and we've been together so long they have become the same to me. I'm sure your LO will have the same bond with her cousin. (I'm closer to his family then my own).

    I hope I've given you an insight in to two different backgrounds. 

  • MRMRS2014MRMRS2014 Posts: 1,279

    Hi I could have writen this thread myself! We are in exact same situation. Our daughter is 16 months and we have both always wanted two children but now we have her i don't know if i could cope with two. We are not planning to TTC (if we decide we want to) until after the wedding so by then LO will be 3 so there would be about a 4year age gap. Every time i see a little baby i think its so cute and want another one but as soon as we get home i decide i don't. I feel like she will miss out if we don't have another child but at the same time i have found it really difficult being a mum and i don't know if i could do it again. The birth and labour were fine so its not that thats putting me off. Oh i don't know what to do image

    Sorry not very helpful am i!! You are not alone and i am sure there are others that feel the same as we do x

Sign In or Register to comment.