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such a big gap between 12-20 weeks and Im worrying :(

Hi ladies, Im just coming up to 14 weeks pg with our  first baby and we're so excited. All was well at 12 week scan but I feel so anxious that something is wrong all the time like, should I be showing more or have more symptoms ect and the gap between scans and appointments is so long what if something happens between now and then! does or did anyone else feel like this? How did you put you mind at rest coz I feel like Im doing everyones heads in with my constant worrying!


  • martinej1martinej1 Posts: 688
    I think it's only natural to worry, I remember being exactly the same.

    I had no pregnancy symptoms whatsoever so was paranoid that something was wrong.

    My advice - stay away from google and just try to relax. It's amazing how quickly time passes - but if you are still really worried then maybe pay for a private scan for a bit of reassurance?

    Another few weeks and you may even feel the first kick which is the most reassuring sign you can have.

  • chezza2005chezza2005 Posts: 1,053
    I could have written your post myself and actually wrote on the 'Due Feb' thread that the wait between 12-20 weeks seems to be taking forever - I'm currently 15 weeks.

    I had a community midwife apt today and told her how worried/pessimistic I was that something bad has happened and she took pity on me and said "we don't usually do this but shall we listen in..." and used her Doppler to listen to the heartbeat and I heard it too which was a nice relief. If you have a midwife apt coming p it might be worth trying this image

    But don't worry, you're not alone in feeling like this.x
  • amoricksenamoricksen Posts: 347

    I am 21 weeks pregnant this week and I felt exactly the same. I am an older mum, 40 this year and I worried about all the possible things that could go wrong. It's natural.

    I felt quite pregnant with the early symptoms, i.e. nausea and then these subsided and I didn't feel pregnant at all. It is natural to worry during this time, but most pregnancies go along happily with no issues.

    My 20 week scan is on Thursday and I can't help but be a little bit apprehensive as this is the anomoly scan, but I'm sure everything will be fine.

    I worried about everything and kept telling myself that after the first scan, or after the results or after I felt the baby I would feel better and here I am worried about the 20 week scan lol. After that I'm sure I will worry about something else so I think you just have to try to relax about it and although it's natural to worry, try not to let it control you.

    I have only starting feeling the 'quickening' in the last week and that does reassure you a wee bit, so just take every little milestone as a positive and try not to think of anything that can go wrong.

  • picklepickpicklepick Posts: 1,141

    It's completely natural to worry, I did too. In fact I don't think you will stop worrying for the rest of your life, even after your child is here. It's part of being a parent.

    You just have to keep in mind that the chances of something going wrong are very slim, and even more slim, is the chance of something going wrong and you not knowing instantly about it.

  • mubeemubee Posts: 1,039

    I feel like this too, although I have just been for my 12 week scan, so am not as far along as all of you. I had a missed MC last year, so have been so anxious this whole pregnancy, so much that I had 3 private scans (at 7 weeks, 8.5 and 10.5 weeks) before the 12 week nhs nuchal scan.

    I told myself I would not worry, but now I am wondering whether i should get angel sound fetal doppler off the internet.


  • picklepickpicklepick Posts: 1,141

    The problem with the dopplers is that the heartbeat isn't always easy to find. The baby has to be in the right position, and if your placenta is anterior, it can also get in the way. My midwife can do it but it does take her a few mins sometimes. How would you feel if one day you had a difficulty finding it?! You'd get yourself worked up into a massive panic for no reason.

  • Smiler85Smiler85 Posts: 283
    What you are feeling is totally normal! I also had a missed m/c early last year after 12 mths of ttc but the fell preg again soon after. To say I was a nervous wreck through the whole preg would be an understatement! I wouldn't buy a thing until I was almost 30 weeks and I hated people congratulating me in case they jinxed it. My little girl is now nearly 8 weeks old, and it's very true that you do not stop worrying!

    Looking back I wish I had relaxed and enjoyed my pregnancy more, it's such a special time in your life and the chances of anything going wrong now are minimal. Eat well, relax and look forward to your new arrival! Baby will soon be here and as amazing as that is a little part of you will miss your bump!!

    Take care

  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    I would agree with picklepick re the doppler my mw wouldnt do the sound at 16 weeks even as she said at that stage difficult to find also i had to be monitored a lot in my last few weeks of pregnamcy and midwives then sometimes couldnt find thr heartbeat due to babies position. however it is your choice in the end
  • mubeemubee Posts: 1,039

    thanks for the thoughts/advise - I would agree that I would probably worry more if i could not find a heartbeat. So do you just assume that from the 12 week scan till 20 week scan everything is ok, unless you have major pain or bleeding?? I am healthy, rest a lot, have started to walk and will be doing some yoga.

  • Smiler85Smiler85 Posts: 283
    Yes definitely assume that everything is ok unless you get any of the things you described. Dont be worried about ringing mw with any concerns, thats what they are there for. Relax and enjoy every minute (even the sicky ones lol) image x
  • MrsQM2MrsQM2 Posts: 3,723
    I felt exactly the same - I didn't feel pregnant until my bump started showing and the kicks started. Once they started you get to know what brings the kicks on, ie warm baths, lying the iPad on your tummy (William certainly didn't like this!) just so that you get the kicks, which give you the re-assurance that all is fine. William is nearly 17 weeks now, and he kicks around so much, without the iPad being n his tummy!

    I agree, enjoy your pregnancy, it's a wonderful time, and like others have said, you will miss your bump a little, the anticipation and excitement of what is to come is immense!!

    All the very best to you xx
  • roo10roo10 Posts: 722

    I agree with all of the above. Try to relax and enjoy it, it goes very fast. I think worrying comes with being a parent & it starts in pregnancy. At your 16 week app, they listened to my baby's heartbeat. I was lucky I guess as working in a hospital the doc did a scan when I liked and then I got put on bp tablets so had to have growth scans.

    Once you feel it moving you also get lots of reassurance.

    Wishing you a happy & healthy pregnancy image

  • amoricksenamoricksen Posts: 347

    I just had my 20 week scan and everything was fine. Baby wouldn't stop moving and it looks like it's a girl.

    I am 40 this year so I am more at risk of things going wrong, but everything was fine, so think you just have to relax and assume the best unless you get any of the usual symptoms etc.

    Enjoy it as much as you can and don't worry about things that haven't happened image

  • I'm 17 weeks and it's a long time to wait isn't it!! I bought a Doppler in the end to use at home. I usually try and have a listen in each night before I go to bed, I usually hear a heartbeat maybe every 3rd day. My midwife says she doesn't like ladies using them at home as often people panic when they can't hear but to be honest if I'm not expecting to hear it every time I'm not worried image its also a lovely way to get my hubby involved xxxx
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