TTC but it's not happening....

Hi everyone,

 

I was a regular on here when I was planning my wedding last summer and had some very helpful advice. I came off the pill (Yasmin) last August and we have been TTC ever since, and now I'm starting to get really worried that its never going to happen because its been 10 months and nothing. Stupidly I thought it would happen quickly. I just wanted some advice on how to cope with the disappointment every month. Also we haven't told anyone that we're trying and everyday I get asked when we're having babies and I try to play it down and say we're not thinking about it yet but inside, every time I'm asked it makes my heart hurt image

good luck to everyone else out there who is TTC

 

x

Posts

  • nestypienestypie Posts: 651

    Hi, I havent been ttc for long but it feels ages already! Friends and work keep asking or assuming I'm pregnant & I laugh them off bcos I don't want everyone to know & be waiting for news! Only told two of my freinds, one is also ttc so it's nice to have her, do you have any friends in the same boat? 

    have you seen your gp? Do you use ovulation tests? Xx

  • JoeyClareJoeyClare Posts: 2,737

    There are lots of good tips on the TTC thread to try and improve chances of getting pregnant. For some women it can take a year for their bodies to adjust after taking the pill. I'd say if it's not happened in 2 months time, then see your GP and explain you have been trying for a year with no success. That way you can have some tests done. 

    I think the frustrating thing is that we spend so many years freaking out that if we skip a pill or the condom breaks that we will instantly fall pregnant and then when it comes to actually falling pregnant it's not as easy.

    I stopped taking my pill in January 2011 and got my BFP in December 2012, so it was nearly 2 years. We didn't go to the GP, but would have gone this Summer (a year after our wedding) if it hadn't happened. I was lucky in that people didn't ask us about babies, because they automatically assumed we weren't TTC as we were planning our wedding. I don't think people realise what an insensitive question it can be. 

  • bella141414bella141414 Posts: 473

    Hi 

    just wanted to say I was on Yasmin pill too. It took us nearly a year to conceive after coming off Yasmin. I took Agnus cactus for two months and I truly believe this gave us the bfp. Got it in Holland & Barrett. Currently nearly 32 weeks pregnant image

    Best of Luck x

  • FunkyBride2BFunkyBride2B Posts: 1,183

    Hi Nestypie, I haven't told any of my friends - none of my close friends have children or have been TTC so don't really have anyone to talk to there. I haven't seen my gp as everything I've read online seems to say that they will see you once it has been a year, so like everyone's suggested I think I will go in 2 months time. I haven't used ovulation tests but I think maybe I should - ever since coming off Yasmin I'm quite irregular and I'm hoping that the reason I'm not pregnant yet could be as simple as me getting my fertile days wrong?

    joeyclare - I did spend years freaking out worrying if I'd took a pill late that I'd be pregnant! And it's kind of ironic that months of trying and it's not happened yet. I'm recently 30 and getting a little worried that after 30 it gets harder to conceive...

    i know that people don't realise when they keep asking when we're having children, but I'm such a private person that I wouldn't want to tell everyone we are trying and then they'll be asking all the time when it's happened.

    bella141414 - thank you for that, I'm going to go and get some this weekend then and fingers crossed it will help me too image

    Thank you for all of the replies, definitely makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone image

    xx

  • nestypienestypie Posts: 651

    You can get cheap ovulation sticks from amazon, I used them last month as had a long cycle the month before, didnt use this month bcos I was on holiday but they are good & worked for me, it could just be your getting your dates wrong. 

     

    Depends how nice your doctors are, it could be a waste a time but it could put your mind at ease going before a year, they might be able to suggest things or start tests earlier, I went to see my doctor when I hadn't got my period yet & she ttold me to come back in two weeks if it still hasn't come & the next day it arrived! So maybe it could give you some luck as well! lol 

    but if I were you for now, I'd get some ovulation test & start taking some vitamins, I'm taking b6 to help regulate hormones & my cycle so that might help you as well x good luck xx

  • coco1981coco1981 Posts: 246

    I could have written this post a couple of years ago! It took us 11 months to conceive our beautiful son after I came off the pill. I was super irregular, never thought it would happen and every Tom, Dick and Harry kept badgering me about when we were going to have children. I started saying 'it's not that easy for everyone' and they soon left me alone!

    My advice (feel free to ignore) would be to join an online cycle tracking site (I used fertility friend) whic will help you to get to know your cycles and the signs of ovulation. I used a combination of temping, CM monitoring and latterly ovulation sticks. This meant I got to know exactly what was going on and when your cycles are regularly 80 days long you need to know when to time DTD (or you be doing it ALL the time!) 

    I hope this helps. Don't give up hope, the vast majority of people get there eventually but some need a helping hand of one sort or another. We had been prescribed Clomid the week before I tested positive! Good luck.

  • mrskg2013mrskg2013 Posts: 1,192

    Ive been trying for a while now, i had tests done but they didnt show any thing up, only that on the 21 day test that i hadnt ovulated, but if my cycles arnt normal which they arnt, then i wouldnt be ovulating on that day. I havnt had a proper period since feb!! Im worried sick! I think it possibly is because im getting married in 3 weeks and its all stress from this Planning.

    anyway, im booked in for a laparoscopy in september to. Check my tubes out ect, then with the results a proper plan can be put into place. image

    oh also im 25 so you can be referred and have something done about it if you persist. Xx

  • MrsChompMrsChomp Posts: 490

    I'm sorry it's taking so long FunkyBride. We all grow up spending our entire adult lives trying not to get pregnant, believing you can get pregnant at the drop of the hat, when in fact for many women TTC is a lengthy & emotionally difficult process.

    As others have said, knowing when you ovulate is incredibly helpful so you know that a) you ARE ovulating and b) when to time DTD. Once you understand your cycles, it does help give you some element of control over something entirely uncontrollable!

    If you want some support getting to grips with ov monitoring & dealing with AF if & when she arrives, then please come & join us on the TTC thread. We all have down days but we're all in the same boat. And we're a friendly bunch! image 

  • picklepickpicklepick Posts: 1,141

     If you join fertility friend and take the lessons, it will teach you how to tell when you're ovulating. 

    When you come off the pill, for some women it can take a while for their bodies to get back to normal. I know it is difficult but 10 months is still classed as normal. and that would be for someone who hadn't been previously taking hormonal contraception. It took me 8 months and I'd not taken a pill for 2 years previously. Try not to worry, I know easier said than done!

    Personally, I wouldn't take Agnus Castus until you've got to grips with learning when you ovulate and then read up and do your research on when and how much to take. 

    Oh and join the TTC thread image

  • y5c6y5c6 Posts: 467

    I have never been pregnant myself, and for various reasons unfortunately cannot have children of my own... however, I know many ladies who have been in the same situation as you and have had the same problems/experiences.  My SIL2B came off Yasmin a number of years ago now and was ttc for quite some time with no success.  After about 8-9 months she decided to go see her GP, had some tests done and eventually it was discovered that she had a heart-shaped womb which makes it very difficult to conceive naturally.  Due to her having this condition the NHS covered her for IVF treatment and after the first go she was pregnant and now has a beautiful daughter.  However, one of my other friends was also in the same boat but all the tests came back showing that everything was 'working' okay.  She was told that maybe she is worrying about it too much and putting a bit too much pressure on herself to get pregnant.  Her and her husband decided to give it a break for a couple of months and to just spend time enjoying life again as a couple.  They decided to take a short break away for a week just to a nice little place by the lakes and totally put out of their minds the whole 'baby' aspect.  A few weeks after they got back she realised that she was pregnant and she swears to this day that it was because she wasn't getting stressed out about not being pregnant.  Maybe that could be the case for you also.  Our hormones do tend to play some nasty tricks on us sometimes, especially when we are getting upset or frustrated.  I think as the other ladies on here have suggested, your first port of call would be to see your GP, but do consider maybe trying to have a break from it for a short while just to see what happens.

    I might not be the best person to give advice on here seeming as I can't have kids myself, but thought it might be worth sharing some of my friends experiences with you.  All the best xx

  • MonkeygirlMonkeygirl Posts: 658

    Hi,

    I came off the pill a year ago and have been ttc for 7 months with no luck. I have pretty regular cycles, only a few funny ones thrown in there.

    It is a very hard, stressful and frustrating time but it's taking me until now (and I still do have freak outs!) to calm down a little.

    Everyone gets stressed ttc, and I personally find the whole 'relax' thing a bit harder - although it does obviously work for some.

    If no luck in 2 months go to docs. My blood tests came back normal which had really helped with my 'googling' and I'm having some scan results in 30mins.

    You're not alone, don't bottle it. I found it helped to tell a friend.

    Good luck, hope you see your bfp soon.x

  • Hi,

    I came off the pill last October. At first, we were just quite laid back and thought that if it happened, it happened. But I have only had two periods since coming off the pill (Dianette) in October and my last period was in March. So, I don't have a clue about my cycle or if getting pregnant is even possible...

    Mr Fish says that we should go to the GP together in October, once it has been a full year of TTC.

    I don't have any advice for you but just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling really desperate and disappointed and frustrated and stressed... xx

  • MaylanMaylan Posts: 9,604

    My story is very similar to yours. I stopped the pill in August 2011 and every time I got my period or a negative test it was heartbreaking. I can tell you I only got pregnant in March THIS year, after really long trying. When it was time to test, the hubs told me to wait, for he knew how disappointed I got when it came to negative tests, and I held out for over a week to test.

    It's hard, and it's horrible, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. xx

  • MonkeygirlMonkeygirl Posts: 658

    Congratulations maylan, that is wonderful news! Stories like yours give me hope.x

  • FunkyBride2BFunkyBride2B Posts: 1,183

    Thank you for all of your responses, it definitely makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who feels like this!

    I am going to buy some ovulation tests tomorrow and see if that helps, as I think I am confused about when I am actually ovulating.

    i will join the TTC thread, so that even if I don't have anyone except hubby to talk to I can always chat to you guys, I already feel a bit better about it all image

    xx

  • MrsC81MrsC81 Posts: 201

    I know this might sound really obvious but the best advice I was given is that you have to DTD a lot! ever other day throughout your whole cycle. A friend who is a doctor says she's seen lots of people who struggle to conceive and the main reason is that they're not DTD often enough! 

     

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