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How old were you when you had your first?

Hi ladies, I was just wondering roughly how old you all were when you had your first baby. My partner and I were never really up nor down about having kids, but something's changed in me lately and I think I might like to start a family. My OH is happy about this too. We're getting married this September and due to potential career changes/income dips it's not really practical or affordable to even think about a baby for another 2 years. By which point I'll be 31 ( 29 this November). Some guy in my work made a throwaway and extremely cutting remark the other day about any woman over the age of 25 just shouldn't bother etc. He's a guy, what does he know, right?!? But still, I know there must be fabulous new mum's in their 30s out there. Are you glad you had your wee one when you did or do you wish you were younger?? Xx
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  • Fay xFay x Posts: 30

    I was 19 when I had my eldest. For me that was too young. I wasn't in a relationship and struggled on my own if I am honest. 

    I had my second at 22. 

    I am now 25 and expecting my third. 

    Obviously I wouldn't change what I have but there is a lot to be said for doing what you are. Sometimes I wish I had waited until I had settled down then had children. 

    As for age. You aren't old! Plenty of time. There are loads of mans that I know who were older than you when they had children image 

  • Fay xFay x Posts: 30

    Lol that was supposed to say mams not mans! 

  • Happybunny2Happybunny2 Posts: 628 New bride

    I am pregnant with my first at 31. I wasn't ready before and am so excited. I definitely don't feel too old!

  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505

    Im 30 now and we get married in august and i would like to have one as soon as were married so all being well i will be 31 / 32

  • Purple rainPurple rain Posts: 926

    24 and 26 I planned. To have mine younger and me personally iam Glad I did. Everyone has different curcumstances 

  • I am 28 this year, getting married in December and we plan to start trying after our honeymoon next Easter. So I will be 30 before having my first. I could not have had any before because of working and having a career and only meeting the one 2 years ago!

    My sil to be will be 30 in September, getting married this summer!

    it depends on what is right for you!

  • FunkyBride2BFunkyBride2B Posts: 1,183

    We started trying when I was 29, I'm now pregnant and will be 31 when I'm due. There is no right or wrong time, just do what is best for you. I will say that I thought I would fall pregnant straight away but it didn't work out that way and there have been a lot of bumps along the road, just something you should maybe bear in mind x

  • MrsMc9814MrsMc9814 Posts: 422

    I've been broody for soooo many years and would have loved to have had a baby 2 or 3 years ago - I'll be 29 in May and Mr Mc will be 35 in May. We're getting married in August and I'm hoping to start trying pretty much straight away so I'll be at least 30 by the time we have our first. Although it's older than I'd have liked to have been, it has given me time to achieve all my career goals etc and do all the travelling I wanted to do so I'm happy with it in that respect!

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    I am 30 in August and I am hoping to have my first in my early 30s. Times have changed, the great majority of my friends have not had children. I am very glad I have not had children yet as we want to enjoy ourselves and to be honest I still don't feel quite ready yet.

    My Sister was 30 when she had my niece. No regrets.

    My Mum had her first at 24 (she has admitted she felt she felt she was 'on the shelf'). My Gran has 30 and 33 with her second.

    The head at my Mum's school has just had her first at 40 and both Mum & baby are doing really well.

    Ignore the guy, he doesn't know what he is talking about. 

  • glitter2707glitter2707 Posts: 350

    I don't think there is a 'limit' these days, being ready & settled are in my opinion more important than a number. whatever feels right for you is right!

    i am 27 and currently 39 weeks pregnant with our first, hubby is 32 and it feels like the 'right' age for us. This is different for different people though, I say go for it! Ignore other people who think they need to stick their noses in

  • MrsLM23MrsLM23 Posts: 924

    Don't listen to the guy they don't know anything! I had my little girl 15 days ago and I'm 25 (was 24 when got pregnant) I felt like it was the right time, I've been married 2 years in May, am doing my OU degree and have a good job. Circumstances are different for everyone and I don't really think age is a factor anymore image x

  • doorstopperdoorstopper Posts: 1,674

    That guy is just stupid! I'll be 30 when my first is born and the midwives keep saying I'm low risk because I'm young!

  • I was 30 when I was pregnant with my first, and 32 with my second. I was in a long term stable relationship, we had our own home and I had built up my career and was at a point where it wouldnt have been detrimental to take a career break. My partner and I had also been travelling and seen some amazing places. Our last pre-children holiday was 2 weeks in the Maldives, and it was a holiday of a lifetime...a month later I fell pregnant with my daughter. We had done all the things we wanted to do and had an amazing time. All this stuff we wouldnt have been able to afford to do at the time if we had another 2 to pay for. Pay no heed to what that man said.
    I must say though, when I used to go for my pre-natal checks up the hospital I felt like a granny! lol. There were so many youngsters there. 

  • JodielouJodielou Posts: 4,058

    I'm 34 (hubby is 40) and we don't have children yet! If we hadn't experienced problems conceiving (nothing to do with age) we would maybe have had a little one 2-3 years ago. I absolutely was not ready/ hadn't met the right person/ didn't feel remotely broody until I was 28+. All of my friends are 'older' mums too.  I think it just depends on the cards you're dealt really... in stark contrast to me, my brother is 31 and has four children between the age of 2 and 10, and he's a wonderful father! I can see different benefits of being both a younger and an older mum; my Mum was only 20 when I was born, which means I've been incredibly lucky to have grown up surrounded by amazing grandparents- in fact, my Great-Nan is 105 in a couple of weeks! I just think it's different for everyone and, within reason, there's no 'right' age to have children xx 

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    That guy is a sexist idiot. Age doesn't come into it until it gets to the point that, it would be a risk to the baby or your own health.

    Let's face it if women over 25 didn't bother the human race would die out

  • NowMrsH2014NowMrsH2014 Posts: 345

    Had my first at 21 and 2nd at 24 I will be 30 on Thursday and would love another one!

  • SadSack83SadSack83 Posts: 1,700

    I'm 30 and a bit and my husband and I don't have children and are not TTC. We are currently in process of buying a house and after that we might do. If it makes a difference it is our intention to only have one. 

    I feel no hurry though. Of my 10 closest friends of the same age only 1 has a child. 

    I think generally women have more choices than they used to and some choose to leave it till later. 

    My colleague is 43 and pregnant currently with her first and 2 ex colleagues had their firsts at 40. 

    In short, ignore your colleague. Having a family is a very personal choice - do what suits you and yours. C

  • Mrs MaynesMrs Maynes Posts: 601

    Your colleague is an idiot! I'm 33 and pregnant with my first I wasn't anywhere near ready in my 20's. I was married at 31 and I wouldn't change the year we had as just a married couple me and him for anything! You've got loads of time!

  • Thanks for all the replies ladies, you've certainly helped put my mind at ease.



    Its my intention only to have 1 baby too but you never know what the future holds lol!



    Xx
  • doorstopperdoorstopper Posts: 1,674

    Oh and also to put your mind even more at ease - I got pregnant in our first month of trying aged 29 and touch wood all going smoothly so far. So although that wouldn't happen to everyone, it's definitely possible. I feel practically like a spring chickenimage

  • Snowy78Snowy78 Posts: 453

    What an idiot - he knows nothing!!

    I had my baby when I was 32 and have never regretted having her in my 30's I felt ready to settle down, we have had a relationship for years, been on holidays together, nights out and subsequently do not begrudge sitting in on Saturday nights. I was not ready in my twenties and still had loads of things I wanted to do going out and career wise.

    I have 3 friends who have had babies late thirties, early forties and they were very lucky not to have any issues and felt it was the right time for them.

    Good luck! image

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride

    hubs and I have just started trying we have both just turned 30 and been married 3 years in July.

  • Polly27Polly27 Posts: 680 New bride

    I was 29, me and my husband have been together since we were 21, bought a house at 24, I qualified as an accountant at 25, we got married when we were 26, went on a massive holiday at 28 and then felt we were ready. I think it depends on your circumstances, I was lucky enough to meet my husband when I was young so really felt ready when we started trying, we had our house and both our careers were established (though I would never let money/work get in the way if it was standing in he way of having a family) so we just felt it was the right time for us. None of my friends had babies before 28 so being in your 30's seems normal to me. In fact sometimes I feel a bit young to be honest (especially when I get asked for id in a supermarket when I have my baby with me!) x

  • wannabemamawannabemama Posts: 319

    I'm 30 and currently pregannat with my first. Baby is due 2 and a half weeks before my 31st birthday.

    I have been with my husband since i was 17. We got married June 2012 when i was 28 and started trying straight away (it took us a little longer to fall pregnant as i have Polycystics Ovary Syndrome).

    We loved enjoying our 20's carefree and fell completely ready now for this baby.

    Everyone is different so don't let a silly man's comments affect you!

    x

  • RRrr2011RRrr2011 Posts: 1,262
    What a fool! At the end of the day you aren't going to have a baby just because you sre a certain age - you have a baby when you are at the right stage in your life thus able to give the child a stable and happy upbringing. I always wanted 3 children and wanted them by the time I was 30. Reality is I married hubby at 28 and straated ttc - fell pregnant but had a miscarriage. Then fwll pregnant again and had my baby girl when I was 29 (almost 30). Am now 31 and am 38wks pregnant with number 2. Reality is before this age I didn't feel we were at the right point in our careers and I didn't want children whilst living in our previous house as didn't think the area was suitable for bringing up children. Once we were settled we knew the time was right x
  • Mrs BakeMrs Bake Posts: 1,651

    I really wouldn't worry about age, I'd be more concerned as to whether the right time etc. I was 18 when I found out little Z was cooking along! I went into labour on my 19th birthday. We hadn't exactly planned on it, and looking back life may have taken a very different turn had we waited but I don't regret the decision. When the time is right, it's right!

      Don't let the horrible comments upset you or place doubt in your mind. You certainly are not too old. One of the mums at Z's school is 49 and she had her 5th one 18 months ago. 
  • SLD12SLD12 Posts: 179

    Ignore the stupid comments, there is no right or wrong age, everyone is different and has different goals in life/ timings in mind. I am 36 weeks pregnant with my first and I am 35. I did everything that I wanted to do when I was in my 20s, travelled, got 2 degrees, then started on my career. I didnt get together with my husband until i was 30, we then spent 5 years having amazing holidays and just generally working hard and playing hard. We planned to start trying when I was 35 and we were lucky enough to get pregnant straight away. 

    There is no right or wrong age, just do what is right for you and ignore the opinions of idiots- I was on the receiving end of quite a few in my early 30s when people were telling me that I needed to get a move on etc. 

  • I'm 27 and pregnant with my first image I always knew in my head that I wanted to have a secure job, own my house, get married - and only then think about babies - in that order! Hubby and I bought our house in Summer 2011, got married in Summer 2013 and our little Bean is now due to arrive in Summer 2014... There's absolutely no rush to do things; we've had some amazing holidays and perhaps, more importantly to us, lots of 'us' time with meals out, lazy weekends ad the like - I know it'll never be the same again so enjoy it while you can!

  • Sorry to be crass, but that guy is a fucking idiot. Shouldn't bother after 25? TWENTY FIVE??? What world is he living in???

    After 34-35 it's true that the risk of complication does increase significantly, but plenty of people still have healthy babies at that age.

    I told my parents we were thinking of having a kid, and then getting married a bit later (due to personal life style issues unrelated to age) and they were utterly shocked - But you're only 29!!!! was the general reaction.

    If things go to plan, then I should be 30.5 when I get pregnant for the first time. But you know, plenty of people have fertility problems which means it takes a while to get pregnant.

    But seriously, tell that guy to go fuck himself. He sounds like the sort of creepy pervert that thinks girls should be married, pregnant and barefoot by 18.

     

  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    Apart from two friends who always wanted kids young (both had babies around 21/23) I don't know anyone to have had children pre-30.

    My grandma had my dad at 30, my parents had me at 30, OH's mum was 30, a good friend is pregnant now at 31 (she wasn't planning to for year, came off the pill to get her cycle back on track and fell pregnant within 3 weeks!), SIL was 32 for her first & 35 for second, and most of my friends (all between 28/32) are a long way off being settled enough to have kids. Some aren't even in a steady relationship yet. We are among the first to get married in our group.

    I'm 28, and although I'm ready for marriage, kids still feels like a big and scary thing to me and I can't see myself being ready at all to even think about it for at least a few years. MIL and my mum will almost certainly push and pressure us about it but I am not going to be pushed into a massive decision like that just because of my age. Maybe I'll hit 30 and my hormones will kick in and I'll be desperately broody for a baby, but at the moment the whole idea terrifies me! 

    Ignore anyone who makes comments like 'oh you're too young' or 'ohhh, you're getting on a bit', (particularly ignorant men!) who are they to judge your situation and what is right for you? x

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