Over 35

Hello,

I get married in December and my OH and I want to start trying for a family straight away (if not a little before). The trouble is I have just scared the bejesus out of myself by reading a whole load of horror stories about having a baby after 35. I won't turn 35 till March but its really freaked me out.

I would have loved to have had children younger but I didn't meet a man who wasn't a total arsehead until I was 30 and it took us 2 years to realise we liked each other.

I am now totally freaked out and scared. Anyone else in my shoes?

Posts

  • BabyZebedeeBabyZebedee Posts: 2,421

    oh hun, don't fret - those horror stories are few and far between. I'm 37, hubby is 49 and we have just found out we are having a perfectly healthy little boy. I didn't even want children when I was 35, my biological clock only kicked in once I turned 36.

    SarahLou on the due October thread is also over 35 with an equally big age gap with her hubby and she is expecting a perfectly healhty baby too. Yes the risk of downs increases slightly over 35 but it goes up from 1 in 350 below 35 to 1 in 300 at 36, 1 in 250 at 37, 1 in 200 at 38 etc - you have little to worry about.

  • MrsAmin2BMrsAmin2B Posts: 139

    Thanks, I think I have just scared myself because I am thinking about preparing for pregnancy and there is so much out there that basically says if you have a baby after 35 it will basically have 3 heads.

  • BabyZebedeeBabyZebedee Posts: 2,421

    ha ha - you find a lot of rubbish on the internet - there are loads of women out there who have healthy babies after the age of 40 and lots of women in their 20s who have babies with downs. If you are concerned there are tests you can have done privately from 10 weeks pregnant to reassure yourselves everything is ok. They are more reliable than the NHS tests but cost about £300.

    Try to enjoy this time, if you want a baby nothing should stop you. But yes, it's scary. You should join the team TTC thread, the ladies on there will be able to support you x good luck

  • hf1989hf1989 Posts: 416

    My mum and dad had two more children twelve years after me and my brother, when they were 35 and then 37 (the first was almost certainly a mistake!). Both are absolutely fine, so I wouldn't worry. If we listened to everything we read, we'd never leave the house - you'll be fine.

  • My mam had my littlest brother at 40 and he was perfectly fine! She had a great pregnancy too x

  • Mrsdtobe5Mrsdtobe5 Posts: 4

    I hate the media too, they do seem to love to tell us women off for leaving having kids too late.I mean what do they want us to do, start popping kids out when you get together with your first boyfriend even though you have NO money, decent place to live or solid relationship????  I will be 35 next year when we get married and so will start trying after that. My mum had me at 38 and my bro just a couple of months before she turned 40. I'm concentrating on getting myself in great shape health-wise for when we start trying. You will be fine!

  • EllieKate83EllieKate83 Posts: 1,431

    My husband was born when his mum was almost 41, back in 1985 & that was all fine. It's very common nowadays & remember statistics are just averages, they don't take individual health, fitness etc into account. X

  • SarahLouSarahLou Posts: 800

    Did I hear my name! image 

    hi, as babyz said I'm 36 (35 when I conceived) and hubbie is 46 and we are currently 24 weeks pregnant with a healthy team yellow bundle of joy, who is due 6th oct but will come via c section wc29th sept - can I just add the c section is not cos of my age but due to other medical procedures that I have had. 

    It took us just under a year to conceive, which seems like it is perfectly normal. But like you I was worried about age, however try not to worry about that cos tto is stressful enough without adding age into the mix.

    best of luck image I will look out for you on the due in .......... Threadsimage xx

  • LolemLolem Posts: 959

    I'm 35 and the negus is scaring the bejesus out of me too. I have the comfort of UHF ladies on here that are proving the media wrong. I have my fingers crossed! image

  • LolemLolem Posts: 959

    The, not UHF!

  • LolemLolem Posts: 959

    And media , not negus! Damn auto correct!

  • I'm in my mid 30's too and like you didn't meet my hubby and the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with and have a family with until i was 31 and i'm very aware now of the ticking clock and that the longer it takes to conceive the more potential problems there could be.However these days more and  more women have children in their mid/late 30'sand early 40's with no ill effects (indeed my hubby's mum was 42 when she had him and he's perfect- i could be biased though lol) so while it's ok to be aware of potential problems, don't let media scaremongering worry you unnecessarily.

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    I'm 35 (was 24 when I conceived) and we have a perfectly happy and healthy little man at 23 weeks image dont worry I think its the norm most people have babies "older" now image

  • BabyZebedeeBabyZebedee Posts: 2,421

    LOL Manfaw, that's a long gestation image you must be fed up by now.

  • MrsMJr2014MrsMJr2014 Posts: 229

    I'm 34, also 35 in March and I've just discovered I'm pregnant, due in March too (just before I'm 35)!  Yes, the media tell you all sorts of horror stories (and my best friend did too!), but please don't fret, I'm sure you'll be fine.  My best friend had her three youngest between 31 and 36 and they were all perfectly healthy babies image

    Best of luck!

  • mrsleggomrsleggo Posts: 807

    I was 37 when I had my first baby(perfect little girl), contemplating a second and I am nearly 42

     

  • I'm 37 and got my BFP two days ago! I worried myself sick about not being able to conceive and even sat in my car on my lunch break last week googling "how to cope with being childless"! Little did I know that I was pregnant!! I blame the media too, but I didn't meet a decent man until I was 33 and we got engaged when I was 35. We contemplated trying for a baby straight away but I was in the middle of studies and it seemed like the wrong time. So we thought we'd wait til after the wedding. I've been regretting that ever since....until two days ago! 

    It took us 4 months of 'proper' trying (before that we couldn't really, due to ill health) to get pregnant.  Good luck!!  I really recommend the Sperm Meets Egg Plan by the way. It's meant to increase your chances of conceiving quicker. 
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