Can we afford a child?
Hi everyone, apologies in advance for this whiny post but I need to vent/ get some further advice!
My husband and I are deciding whether or not to have a child. I've only mentioned this to my best mate (she was very happy and gave me lots of good advice), my mum (lets not go there!!) and a few colleagues (I've only been at my place a few months so they don't know me too well yet). All the colleagues (and my mum) pretty much said 'kids are expensive- they cost a fortune'. I'm not an idiot so I know this already!!
What's getting me down is this; my husband and I have a joint annual income of £46K, so not mega bucks and not as low as some people. We have a modest mortgage, one car and no debts (bar the mortgage). I'm worried that if we have a child and one of our incomes drops due to reducing hours (we're both full time now) plus paying out for child care we'll really struggle with money, which my husband and I HATE (who doesn't?), and the fact people keep saying 'they're so expensive' and nothing else is getting me down.
Do my husband and I have enough income to afford a child? Are people trying to politely tell me don't bother, we can't afford it? Which in turn makes me feel a failure cos I don't earn more
I think that yes, it will be a struggle, especially as we'll have no family support (my parents live abroad, husband's dad is severely disabled and step- mother- in- law still works plus they live a 45 min drive away) but surely the magic of having a child outweighs the financial sacrifices? I think I expected more people to react with 'defo have kids, its wonderful, they enrich your life/ are amazing etc.' rather than literally just 'they're so expensive'.
Is anyone else worrying about money or facing doing parenthood without grandparental support? I'm ready to go for it, hubby is dithering, but this attitude from others and money worries is putting me off- and him I think! I can cope with being poorer if it means having a child and I know from my own upbringing that being loved is what matters most to a child- I would swap all my toys and fancy holidays to just have felt loved as a child- but I also know you need money to live.
Don't know why but this is really getting me down. Apologies again for the pity party! x