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Just wondered if anyone had any advice...

Spent last night in hospital due to heavy bleeding etc, been offered 3 options.

First one is to hopefully let nature take it's course.

Second is the pills to help.

Third is surgery.

I have no idea what to do and wondered if anyone had experience, basically despite lots of blood and clots, baby is still in there but no heartbeat.

Looking for hopefully some good advice.



  • TheLegacyofMrsMTheLegacyofMrsM Posts: 2,188 New bride

    So sorry Laura xxx

    By pills do you mean the tablets they give you as an early abortion? That will make baby come away? 

    Personally I would have medical intervention as waiting would be very traumatic. Tablets I believe make it come away within 24 hours, usually supervised in hospital. The surgery is obviously invasive and unpleasant but it is over faster and it avoids the issues of tissue being left behind. 

    So sorry you are in this situation, just know we are all here for you xxxx

  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    So sorry Laura, what a horrible thing to happen, I hope you have support around you.

    what stage are you at? It's not something I have direct experience of but the first one means there is uncertainty as to when nature might step in - my friend had a good week or so. This is not necessarily a problem if you can handle this but just be aware.

    Is the proposed surgery D and C? My sister in law has this and while she had a complication (which could happen with any surgery), the actual procedure was fine she said.

    Are there side effects to the pills? They sound like a good option, but to be honest there is no right or wrong. Do what you feel comfortable with. What are you thinking at the moment?


  • MrsL-K2017MrsL-K2017 Posts: 654 New bride

    I was originally in favour of waiting and seeing. But after thinking about it I thought just have the surgery over and done with then and no waiting around, may have to have it anyway if it doesn't sort itself out.

    I'm off to EPAC tomorrow to discuss further.

    Just bit nervous of any medical intervention as not had anything like that done before, I don't like hospitals  

  • MrsL-K2017MrsL-K2017 Posts: 654 New bride

    Out of interest what complication did your sister-in-law have?

  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    The complication my sister in law had was that they did leave some tissue behind, and she had to have a repeat procedure, which carries an enhanced risk. Not trying to be negative in case that's the choice you make, and she was unlucky and it probably wouldn't happen to you, but I agree with mrsm about having medical intervention and think the pills could be a good bet. 

  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    Basically I think they do the procedure blind and they left 5cm of tissue behind. She was then bleeding very heavily for ages as they tried to 'induce' the remainder out of her, and when this didn't work they repeated the procedure using a scan. she also had to wait for the procedure as its urgent but not an 'emergency' as such so other cases were prioritised.

  • MrsL-K2017MrsL-K2017 Posts: 654 New bride

    Only issue with the pills I think is you have to wait 3 months before trying again, but as I say we are going to discuss it further tomorrow just trying to sortout how I feel, which isn't easy

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,210 New bride

    I'm so sorry Laura. I've been keeping an eye on the Due thread and been desperately hoping I wouldn't read this post.

    Personally I would go for the D&C as then you know that everything is gone and you can move forward.

    I know people who have let nature take its course and ended up having D&C later on so at least if you have it you can grieve and move forward when you are ready.

    Please message me if you need any support or advice. I'm so so sorry you have had to go through this. It's the hardest thing ever but there is a light at the end of the tunnel ... much love xxx

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,210 New bride

    And to add to your waiting point - we have to wait three months because of the methotrexate and we are seeing it as a good thing. Gives you time to physically and emotionally recover. xxx

  • TheLegacyofMrsMTheLegacyofMrsM Posts: 2,188 New bride

    I only know about it as my SIL had to have an abortion for a severely disabled baby at 12 weeks. She took the tablets to try and avoid the intrusiveness of the op, but not all the tissue came away and she ended up having the op anyway months later. Stuff can be left behind with all 3 options.

    I am just so sorry you have to go through this xxx

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I would wait and see what happened first. when i had a miscarriage I think I had 4 days of heavy bleeding and clotting before the baby came away. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time and Id personally rather let nature happen and only intervene if necessary.

    Im sorry this has happened, its really horrible to go through. Take good care of yourself or let somebody look after you x

  • Amber39Amber39 Posts: 33

    So sorry :( 

    i have had both the pills and the d&c procedure and on balance I would probably say d&c was preferable although both aren't nice, obviously..:(

    with taking the pills, I found this worse as although it happened within 24hrs, I was sent home and it was very painful and frightening (this may vary on area though, you may be kept in?) and depending on how many weeks you are, you may 'pass' a sack which I found quite traumatic - so sorry if this is tmi but just want to warn you Hun xx

    after the d&c I had no pain and it was all over very quickly once they took me down for it - but I did have hours of waiting as they were so busy on the day and I kept being pushed down the list which added to the anxiety of the situation. 

    so sorry you are going through this and facing this decision xx 


  • MrsL-K2017MrsL-K2017 Posts: 654 New bride

    Well the bleeding slowed down this morning, but am getting cramps again now so think it might start again.

    Well I should of been 11 weeks according to dates, but on having scan it looked more 6 weeks.

  • MrsL-K2017MrsL-K2017 Posts: 654 New bride

    Amber with the d&c did you get much bleeding after, what was recovery time like?

  • Amber39Amber39 Posts: 33

    have you someone with you?  It's such a heartbreaking position to be in, but no decision is wrong, it's all down to how you feel and which you think would be right for you xx

  • Amber39Amber39 Posts: 33

    Sorry posted before I saw that. Bleeding was far less than it happening naturally or taking the tablets, only lasted a few days and wasn't too heavy. I had no cramping or pain really either. So physically I was fine by the next day.

    it may differ area to area but I had to go in at 7am and they gave me a tablet to insert (like a tampon) just beforehand which apparently gets things started but it didn't - I was waiting hours!! 

    Its a really personal choice though Hun, some prefer it to happen naturally or don't like the idea of being put under (I didn't which is why I opted for the tablets previously) 

    i hope you have someone with you taking good care of you *hugs* xx

  • KateJessKateJess Posts: 226

    It's a very personal decision. I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. I took the tablets and it was fine. I waa given painkillers to take if needed though i didn't take them. I passed everything that evening, took the tablets early in the afternoon. I was told it would be like a heavy period, this I felt wasn't accurate and actually there was a lot of bleeding but manageable. It was nice to be at home throughout. I did get some retained product, had to the tablet again which sorted everything. I was told to wait until I got my period before trying again mainly because it's easier to work out due date. Didn't have to wait 3 months. Fell pregnant again very quickly and he's now 4 months old. I'm so sorry, it's a very difficult time. 

  • I had a miscarriage in Jan. (My due date should be in two days )

    i was 10 weeks but baby stopped growing at 6. 

    I had two days spotting then heavier bleeding then a scan two days later. I passed everything naturally. I only had one biggish cramp five days after the spotting started. I think all in all I bled for ten-fourteen days. It was uncomfortable more than painful, mainly in my back. I was back at work the following week after the spotting started. (i couldn't stay indoors doing nothing but thinking) 

    sorry to hear you're going through this. I hope you have people there for you. X 

  • HereitgoesHereitgoes Posts: 206 New bride
    laura686 wrote (see post):

    Just wondered if anyone had any advice...

    Spent last night in hospital due to heavy bleeding etc, been offered 3 options.

    First one is to hopefully let nature take it's course.

    Second is the pills to help.

    Third is surgery.

    I have no idea what to do and wondered if anyone had experience, basically despite lots of blood and clots, baby is still in there but no heartbeat.

    Looking for hopefully some good advice.

    I'm so sorry for your loss laura686 sending you big hugs. Like one of the other ladies said I hope you're not alone...

    When I miscarried, I chose to let nature take its place. I bled heavily for a few weeks and then waited a month before we tried again. I just couldn't bring myself to go back to the clinical setting where I was given the news. I stayed home and went through the process with the support of family. As it was around christmas, I had time off (even worse it was just before my birthday).Its such a personal decision but whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best. Xx

  • EpiphanyEpiphany Posts: 718

    I'm very sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult and painful time x

  • MrsNH17MrsNH17 Posts: 650 New bride

    Laura im so sorry to hear this. Had everything crossed for you that it was just one of those random occurrences with nothing behind it and all was well. Sending you lots of hugs and hoping you've got plenty of support xxxx

  • MrsLjCMrsLjC Posts: 1,232 New bride

    Oh Laura I'm so so sorry to read this. I'm sorry I don't have any advice but it sounds like it's a very personal decision. I think MrsE had very good advice about the waiting time. 

    I hope you've got hubby with you today and know that we're all here for you to suppose you. Look after yourself xxx

  • Memza89xMemza89x Posts: 1,533 New bride

    So sorry to hear you are going through this Laura

    When I went through my MC the tissue came away by itself so I didn't have to have any treatment so can't really give advice on that front but I just wanted to send you lots of hugs xxxxx

  • MrsJRMrsJR Posts: 252 New bride

    Hello so sorry about your miscarriage. It is horrendous. I had one in December but thankfully I've since been blessed with twins. So please mourn and take your time but know there will be positive things once you get through this.

    I do not know your history but mine was a silent miscarriage at 12 weeks. The baby was 7-8 but my sac etc carried on growing so they recommended an ERPC (or D&C). I had dreaded this but it was probably the easiest and most straight forward part of the process. In and out on the same day and minimal bleeding and pain. It sounds awful but I was so relieved it was all done quickly as I struggled feeling pregnant and having the little bean in there but knowing it had gone.

    I instinctively wanted that route as I didn't want to see any tissue etc. And I wanted it over as quickly as possible. I remember reading where women had both and preferred the operation. So that's my recommendation and really, it was so much easier than I though albeit it took a while for my body to recover as I had some bleeding on and off for a week or two and still had pregnancy hormones for a while (as mine was silent so they were raging at point I found out about loss).

    There weren't any real risks of operation (obviously there are always some but pretty minor). And as soon as my body recovered a couple of months later I fell with twins so any worries i head about thinning lining etc did not happen. If anything - they say because you have been cleaned a bit that it helps with next pregnancy. 

    Please message me if you have any questions. This is a very hard time but you will get through it and you will still love your baby always, but will have others to love too soon (and we are so thankful now for our angel baby as we feel that it led us to our twins and they will always have an angel looking over them - I know everyone feels differently but this helped us a little). Xxx

  • MrsRoseGHMrsRoseGH Posts: 193

    Laura I can't believe it. I have been wondering how you are doing and really hoped it would all be okay. Please message me if you need to talk. We are going to miss you so much on the other thread but will see you back there soon. Do look after yourself in the meantime. Sending lots of hugs xx

  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,891 New bride

    Laura - I am so sorry hun - I stalk the threads a lot and hoped it wouldn't come to this for you


    I don't really have any advice but we are all here for you - sending love xx

    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • Elle26Elle26 Posts: 132

    Laura I am really sorry to hear this. I opted for the pills as I was so upset, desperate to come home and just wanted to leave the hospital. Ultimately the choice is up to you, I personally didn't go for the ERPC as I didn't want to go back to the hospital and I was worried about the surgical procedure but the pills induced a lot more pain that I was prepared for and heavy bleeding. 2.5 weeks later the heavy bleeding and "product" as they like to call it has passed but I am still bleeding and still testing positive on a pregnancy test. I was 9 weeks but little bean had stopped growing at 6 weeks. I know you said you have been advised to stop trying for 3 months but I was told we could start trying as soon as the bleeding stopped but it would be better to wait for a period first so that it is easier for them to date a pregnancy. Perhaps I had different advice as I was not as far gone as you

    Give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself. I'm back at work but still bursting into tears with the slightest provocation. Big hugs x x x

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,210 New bride

    I've been thinking about you Elle - have you taken some time off work? It may be helpful as it will give you time to grieve. I was off for 2 weeks after we found out it wasn't good news and it definitely helped.

    Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since we had the heartbreaking news that my womb was empty & i have good days and bad days but as time goes on I have more good than bad. I don't think i'll ever fully get over it but I think it will get easier when we conceive again. I'm still testing positive on a pregnancy test 3 weeks after my methotrexate injections which is rubbish but i'm getting there slowly. xx

  • Elle26Elle26 Posts: 132

    Hi MrsE, 4 weeks isn't a long time at all so i'm glad you are starting to have more good days than bad and believe that it definitely will get easier. Your kind words to me really helped, thank you. A negative test will go a long way towards moving on. It's so strange to hope for a negative test though after desperately wanting a positive one.

    I was signed off sick for 10 days but still ended up working a few hours a day from home. I actually think it helped though as it gave me something to do for a few hours without having to commute to work. Today was my first day back and I just want to focus on getting back to normal. I've decided that we can't ttc again until I feel mostly myself again so working will hopefully help xx

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,210 New bride

    Getting back to normality does help & when your negative test comes that will allow you to move on and in time you will get to a place where you feel ready to TTC. I'm still waiting for my negative test (HCG is still in the 80s). 

    Hope being back at work helps you get to that place - it's definitely a good distraction x 

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