Baby bombshells

Hi all,

I am 25 now and have been really maternal for ages due to having a young family (mum had me when she was 18) and being around kids for most of my life. 

My husband has become really broody since we got married which doesn't help 🙈 the problem is that we are going on honeymoon in the carribbean and we can't start TTC until June due to Zika.

We have just had some friends give birth (who are younger than us and not it the best situation) and I've got to admit its hitting me quite hard. 

So, I was wondering how people dealt with baby bombshells. 

Posts

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 837 New bride

    To be honest, you've got loads of time, I wouldn't worry about being in any rush. June will probably come around really quickly, it's only 8 months away as it is, and you've got an amazing honeymoon to look forward to! I can understand you're probably seeing it happen to your friends and wishing it was you, but people will always be having babies and theres not much you can do about that.

    You've got age on your side and your whole life to be a parent, so I would try to enjoy the time with your new husband before things significantly change for the rest of your lives when babies arrive. X

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I think "baby announcement" is a better term to use to begin with. Bombshell implies something shocking or unpleasant, I know a lot of woman use it but we dont go around calling proposals "wedding bombshells" before it happens to us, when we are wanting to get engaged.

    Its fine and normal to broody, to want it to happen, and to be a little envious even that youre not in that position yet, but as said its a very common but very special for the parents and families. I would deal with it by congratulating them and being genuinely happy for them, and reminding yourself that they are deserving and its wonderful news, and that you will be making your own announcement.

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,209 New bride

    If you're keen to TTC sooner some travel operators will let you change destinations, but if you don't want to sacrifice the destination then you have to wait.

    Yes, its hard to hear people announce their pregnancies & it's perfectly normal to feel jealous (trust me is 1000x worse when you have suffered a loss like we have) but your time will come - you have chosen to have a Caribbean honeymoon knowing it will push your TTC plans back so you have to do as MrsJ suggests and be happy for them. All baby news is happy news, no matter what the situation. 

  • Our honeymoon to Mexico was booked and paid for when Zika hit. We didn't want to delay TTC so we got a doctors note telling us to avoid travelling to the area. With that note we managed to change destinations free of charge. 

    Good job we did as I was 2 weeks pregnant on our wedding day. Our baby boy is now 10 months. One day we will go to Mexico but for us it wasn't as important as trying for a baby was. But I am 31 so I'm older. 

    If changing isn't an option all you can do is look forward to sunshine and cocktails. I would get your body ready for pregnancy now so your prepared. Start fitness if you don't already, I wish I'd been fitter during pregnancy and they don't advise you to start any exercise unless you did it before you fell. 

    Smile, be positive and happy for others who have their bundles of joy. Your time isn't to far away 

  • MrsRoseGHMrsRoseGH Posts: 193

    Hi MrsRenaud, how exciting that you are both on the same page about starting a family. Lots to look forward to! I would agree with the others in that you are still so young and have plenty of time.

    I went on honeymoon to St Lucia earlier this year, a country that carries a zika risk and decided to take extra care and see how we got on. I had read about the odds of contracting it and then for future babies to develop microcephaly being very low. The resort was very diligent and fumigated the area twice daily. The mosquito types that carry zika are mainly active at dawn and dusk and can only travel 500m in their lifetime, meaning they would need to bite a carrier within the vicinity and then bite me.

    We took care to douse ourselves in high strength insect repellant throughout the day and evening and we were careful to avoid leaving water or puddles on the balcony, and close the doors at night. I came away at the end of the two-week trip with just one bite (that happened after dusk) and hubby had 0.

    Given my age we decided to start TTC and were very lucky (and surprised) to fall quite quickly. I spoke to my midwife and asked for the zika test, but she said that given the lack of bites and symptoms, she recommended that we not worry about this. She also said that the hospitals have been privy to medical reports that microcephaly is actually linked to certain pesticides rather than zika. However the threat remains in place so that people stay vigilant.

    I am by no means saying you should take the risk but I wanted to share my experience as there is a lot of worry out there.

    EDIT: I should add that the honeymoon was a surprise gift from the in-laws!

  • Raksha92Raksha92 Posts: 215 New bride

    Thanks for all your comments.

    Just to note that we booked our honeymoon a year and half ago so we didn't realise that we would be as ready as we are! Plus I think that whilst we were aware of zika, we probably didn't give it as much though as we should.

    I don't think age should matter... If you are ready, you are ready. Whether you are 20, 25, 30, 35 or beyond. Young people can have as much trouble TTC as older ladies.

    MrsRose - to be honest I have a similar view to yourself. Statistically it is quite a low risk and if you get no bites then the risk is minimal. I suppose the problem is for us is even though we are cruising so won't be in these areas for very long. Some of the excursions may take us to risky areas such as a walk to a waterfall.

    I think ultimately my husband is more worried than I am. The doctor said whilst the risk is low the results are devastating and knowing my luck I will be one of the few.

    I am happy for them but I know when time is right it will happen. What it all boils down to is jealousy and I'll admit that. But I am sure we are all guilty of that!!

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 837 New bride

    I don't think you can really say age shouldn't matter... yes it doesn't matter when you want a baby and feel ready, but there are undeniable facts surrounding female fertility and age, older women do have more trouble than younger women. I think all we were trying to do is put your mind at rest and reassure - unless you do have a pre-diagnosed condition you do have lots of time to become a mum! Try not to panic :) hope you're feeling better about it all though and good luck! X

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