Ridiculously broody!!!

Aaaagh! I every time I see a baby I think -want one want one want one!'. (I work part time on a neonatal unit so that happens quite a lot). I got married in April and 2 ladies from the unit who got married after me (in May and July) are both now pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm so so pleased for them (especially seeing as a few others at work are struggling TC) and I feel awful for being jealous!

My hubby is a trainee lawyer and currently doesn't earn a lot and I'm actually a full time PhD student (only work on the ward occasionally) so wouldn't get any mat leave pay and would then have to finish my doctorate with a baby in the house if I had one now. I'm studying an aspect of challenges faced by first time parents so read about how it feels to be a parent on a daily basis!

Looks like if we're sensible, we won't be able to start trying for another 2 or 3 years which seems like torture to me! The rationale part of me says wait but the broody part of me so it'll never be the right time to be a mummy so start trying now. I wondered if anyone else is in the same boat and has any advice to pass on about assisting broodyness??


  • Hi there Mrs Petite bride,

    I'm not in the same boat as such but h2b and have been ttc for 2 years now, I've had 2 miscarriges in this time and have just found out I'm pregnant again (not exciting anymore, just really scary)

    So I can really relate to the broodiness and frustration and the feeling that their is a conspiracy against you to constantly remind you about parenting, pregnancy and having a baby!!!

  • Wanna-bumpWanna-bump Posts: 1,546
    Oh hun, that sounds like a really stressful thing you and h2b are going through. I'll be praying for you over the next few weeks and hope it all goes ok!
  • Hello!

    Oooh, I've been away from this site for ages - thought it was healthy for me to stay away for a bit! Before my (wonderful) wedding, it seemed like I spent two weeks solid on this site, so I've not been on since, but now I'm a Mrs, (well and before actually) I am also RIDICULOUSLY broody.

    Exactly the same situation, everytime I see one, I want one soooo badly. I went to the docs the other day to get a repeat prescription for my pill, and as I'd changed my name to a mrs, and I was there for contraceptive reasons - he asked me when I was thinking of having babies.... I want one now, but the problem is almost the same as yours mrs petitie bride - I'm on a work placement at the mo that ends in April, so have to wait till I get a new, permanent job, before I can even think about starting to try for a babby, because we simply can't afford it without me having full maternity leave.

    Does anyone know what the deal is with maternity leave? How long do you have to be in a job, before you're entitled to the whole shabang. It's soooo frustrating having to wait.

    It's the whole old fashioned biological thing vs I still want to enjoy my career. Urrrgh, eeeek

    Oh, it's good to be back!

    Mrs Fredd
  • Eve79Eve79 Posts: 14
    Im broody too, and already a stay at home to, a 4 year old and a 2 year old, and trying for baby no 3, i dont think anybody can really afford to have a baby, but if it happens you will always find ways to cope, and you will receive child benefit and Family Tax credit, not sure how much though.

    Try finding out what other financial help you will both be entitled to as well.

    Best wishes,

    Mrs Claxton2b
  • Yeah,

    I know no-one can ever really afford a baby, so I will perhaps look into other avenues of financial support. The thing with maternity leave though, is that you've got a job to go back to, and I'm working hard towards my career, and don't want to give it up before it really gets going. By having maternity leave, the option to go back to work is there after a year, if it's the right thing then.

    Do you know where I could find out about maternity cover? I've tried the CAB, but it's a bit confusing on there.

    Good luck with number 3 by the way!!!

    Mrs Fxxx
  • God, that post makes me sound like a career hardended woman - which I'm not! I'm just torn between biologically, and really, wanting babies and not sacrificing those years at Uni, and in rather crappy jobs working my way up the ladder. From this perspective it seems like I'd be giving up a lot, if I didn't have the security of a job to go back too, but I'm quite prepared to be completely in love, with having a baby and never wanting to go back to work!

    Hope that makes my position sound a bit more human!
  • Eve79Eve79 Posts: 14

    Try this, most people I know have had the same intention to go back to work, but change their mind after the baby arrives, or decide to have more children.


    Good luck, in what ever you decide

  • Thanks Eve Keen for those links - I'm all excited now!

    And good luck to you too!

  • I am in exactly the same boat as you. When I read this:

    "The rationale part of me says wait but the broody part of me so it'll never be the right time to be a mummy so start trying now."

    This is exactly like me. I am getting married in 4 months and keep thinking I want to start trying straight away however we live in London and our mortgage repayments are high and we couldn't live off just H2B's wage and I only get 3 months full pay maternity so should wait until in better financial position. Also I am only 27 so feel I should wait until I am older. None of my Uni friends are even engaged let alone thinking of babies! How old are you?

  • I'm getting married in June 08 and can't wait to start a family. Want to start TTC straight after the wedding. Anyone have any ideas as to when I should come off the pill? Been on it about three years...

    And Murrs, I'm 27 too!
  • Eve79Eve79 Posts: 14
    I have heard it can take anything from 3 months to a year to get the pill out of your system, I would come off now, and use other, non medicinal methods, like condoms, until your ready to start trying.

    I was on the pill for almost 7 years, it took us 3 months to concieve our 1st baby ( aged 23), and 5 to concieve our 2nd (aged 25) but we did use an ovulation kit during the last month, which worked 1st time.

    We are getting married in Feb, and started trying this month, im a size 16, so will be albe to hide my bump if we suceed!!

    Oh and Im 27 too, but my B-day is in Nov.


    Eve Keenimage

  • Wanna-bumpWanna-bump Posts: 1,546
    I'm reassured to discover that their are other woman pining after babies as much as me! I'm only 25 so I guess I should realise that I do have plenty of time. I just never thought I'd be the career orientated type- I've been playing with baby dolls forever and only ever aspired to be a mummy. But yet, even though I'm now married the time still isn't right cos of mortgage and living costs etc. I'd give my PhD up for a baby any day though!!! Ah well... it'll be worth it in the long run image

    Good luck to the rest of you!
  • Thanks for the info. Very interesting! I'll let you know how I get on!
  • MrsRafMrsRaf Posts: 1,802
    MrsPetiteBride/fredd/all other ladies...

    i'm in exactly the same situation!

    I'm relatively young (will be 25 when we get married next August), have a good and well paid career as a contractor (but work for myself so NO maternity pay!) and have a massive love of travelling (want to climb mount kilimanjaro, spend a few months travelling the Mayan route in central america etc etc)

    BUT...I am soooo broody! H2B's 2 sisters and cousin all had babies in the last 4 months and I realised how much I want one.

    I asked H2B if we can start TTC after the wedding and he said yes as long as i'm sure its what i want to do. But he's trying to start his own business so me not working would be a big loss to us.

    i'm so confused...am I just eager to get on with the next part of our relationship? should we agree to wait until we've been married a couple of years? H2B will be 32 when we get married and i know he wants to have children whilst he's "young enough to play with them" (his words not mine) so i dont want to wait too long but i just really want a baby with him.

    Then again...how do i expect to climb a mountain with a baby in tow ;\)
  • I'm with you ladies. I am so broody and have been for a long time. Despite completing my uni education recently I can see myself wanting to be a mother pretty soon. My sister, a heavily independent career driven girl, has said to my mother that it was a waste that they helped with my uni fees as I'll 'just end up having babies anyway'.....thanks!

    But why should there be shame in that? And why should women be forced to chose between motherhood and working? And be forced to then feel guilty about what they do? I guess it does come down to the need for money on one hand and the biological on the other hand, but we can only do what we feel is right at the time.

    I want babies! There will never be a perfect time. Life is too short and precious to worry about what if and when. My best friend died this year and it has changed my perspective. I don't want to mess around doing what I think I should be doing and worrying about what might go wrong. I want to grab life while I can.
  • I'm only 22 and i've been married two months now and i'm so broody it hurts!

    We've been together 5 years, so it feels right to me to move onto the next stage.

    Unfortunatly hubby doesn't want to have them yet image we've talked about it lots, and sometimes i have a physical ache to have one. No one seems to understand this? I've always been maternal and it seems so natural to me to have one now were married.

    It makes it worse when most of my cousins have children or are pregnant and i'm so jealous when my mum phones me with the news- which seems to be most months at the moment.

    We cant really afford to have one- so i understand this argument. But i doubt we'll ever be able to afford to have children, we'll just have to adapt the way we spend money.

    The thing is too, i'm going to uni in sept 2008 to train in nursing, so if that goes ahead it will be five years before i qualify for maternity. So i'd be aged 28/29, which no offence to anyone, just seems old to me. I always thought i'd have a baby in my early twenties.

    But if i had a child now, i know it would be hard for me studying but i seriously think i'd cope.

    argh- its so frustratingimage

  • shellbob73shellbob73 Posts: 3,152
    me & h2b reason that if we wait till have enough money to have a baby we'd never have one! lol! i think its true - you'll never have enough!

    i think you just make it work. there's plenty more me & h2b can give up (take-aways, branded foods, buying without thinking etc) which we will do when we have a baby.
  • Hi Everyone image

    I've just been reading through this topic and found some very useful stuff (thanks Eve for the link)

    I'm not sure if it's still an active topic but if any of you do pop back I just want to say good luck for your big days image

    and Eve....any joy on the baby front? I'm pregnant now and getting married in March so would love to swap tips on hiding bumps image


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