Really worried about coping!!

Hi everyone,

I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago and after a 3 weeks rollercoaster ride of emotions and panic, h2b and I have to decided to go ahead with the pregnancy, I was upset as we had planned to get married in september (everything is booked now) but that is all going to have to change! But my main worry is that I have just started a new post as a nurse about 2 weeks ago and Im pretty sure that Im not going to be entitled to any form of maternity pay, am I right? Has anybody been in a similar situation? Im just worried about how we're going to cope financially, h2b has a fairly well paid job but I think it will still be a struggle for us as we will also need to move house, (our flat is tiny!)

I havent told any family or friends yet and I feel like Im on my own trying to figure all this out, any advice or reassurance would be greatly appreciated...Im about 9 weeks now and I dont have an appointment with the midwife for another 2 1/2 weeks!




  • Mrs-D-2bMrs-D-2b Posts: 187
    Hi Hanzy123 - my first bit of advice is to take a deep breath and try and calm down - stress is the last thing you need right now.

    My second bit of advice would be to either look at your employee handbook or company intranet site to see what your options are for maternity pay. if that gives you no info, there are govenment sites - just google maternity pay/rights. Im sure you will not be left with nothing.

    The next thing is I would tell your mum/best friend so that you atleast have someone to talk to about this.

    Im sure things will be ok and work out for you. I know its easy to say, but try not to worry and focus more on the positive aspects of this.

    Hope this helps.xxxx
  • hi hanzy123

    im sort of in a similar situation,

    i found out i was pregnant at 5w and had just been given a start date for a new job and already left my old one, h2b and me knew we would be having the baby from that start as have privious m/c but i was far from thrilled,but he was so i felt it was hard to tell him how i felt, silly since were geting married i know but its sorted nowimage, im not in a well payed job (care worker) and h2bs not greatly payed (chef) so our finances are worrying me most of the time, we are also having to move,we rent, (wouldnt say the house is tiny but no central heating and only one room so not child friendly) so i totaly know how you feel

    with the mat leave im not sure if its just my cumpney or most places but i will not be intitled to mat pay but will be given the time off with my job kept open, i have been told by my manager that there is a sort of alowance that you can get but you have to clam for it, shes great and is looking into that at the moment for me (funny really as i was so worried about telling her and shes been great) theres ment to be lots of help you can get to have children although sorry i couldnt be more help

    do you really need to cancle/change your wedding im now 17w+3 and getting married in may,(going to be 29w) also already payed for and mostly sorted out when i found out i was pregnant but we never gave the date changing a seconed thought im already so excited i couldnt deal with having to wait longer still,

    we didnt tell anyone i was pregnant till after my ageing scan although i ended up only being 11w+3 insted of 12 but close image i only saw my midewife once before than it was hard but i called the hospital where the base is and ran through some questions i had with a midewife there and they were really nice about things

    hope this had helped at leas a little, dont wory your not alone, this plave is great ive had lots of help even just from ready other peoples problems,

    keep smillingimage

  • mrsS1258mrsS1258 Posts: 459

    Try not to panic too much!! Firstly, the NHS will only give you full maternity entitlements if you have been in your post for 6months by the time you fall pregnant. HOWEVER, you will still be entitled to SMP (Statutory maternity pay) for up to 26 weeks I believe and your post will be held for you until you return. SMP works out at around £113 per week, so not great in comparison to your wage but better than nothing. Now, although things will be tight, it is manageable but may mean that you have to return to work sooner than you would have with full maternity benefits. I too am a nurse and I worked with a girl who fell pregnant just as she started her new job, basically she had the last couple of weeks of her pregnancy off together with a few weeks after the baby was born and then went back to work. For that though, you either need to have really good parents who will look after baby or a nursery that you can put them in, or just go back to work doing nights and weekends (or whatever shifts are opposite to H2B's) so that childcare isnt an issue.

    All the best with everything, these things always have a way of sorting themselves out!
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