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So sad...

I miscarried image

Not only that, but it happened on the day of the Coroner's Inquest into my brother's death so I was in court all day imageimage

Just to explain, my brother (my only sibling) committed suicide in November at the age of only 27. He had multiple sclerosis and felt really hopeless about his disabilities.

Because he died suddenly, they held an inquest into his death. I promised my parents I would be there to support them through it. So when I started bleeding that morning, I just went onto autopilot and carried on as normal. My hub was really concerned about me, but I just had to get through that day.

Apart from hub and my GP, I haven't told anyone. Hub thinks I should tell my parents because they will be really upset if they find out later. But how can I tell them about this (they didn't even know that I was pregnant because it was only a few days after I found out that things started to unravel) when they are still so upset after the inquest???? imageimageimage

I just so wanted to have some good news after all my family has been through recently..........

[Modified by: cherrypicker on 23 March 2008 17:15:36 ]


  • shezza82shezza82 Posts: 255
    I am so sorry to hear your news...i'm no good at advise or words, so i just wanted to say my thoughts are with you xx
  • Hi Cherry Picker, just wanted to say how sorry i am. I cant imagine how you feel and what happened with your brother is awful. You must do what your instincts tell you do with regards to telling your parents. Just make sure your hubby is there to suppport you. Take a couple of days to think about it and get use to it yourself before you have to deal with whether you tell them or not. Sorry if that's not much help. Sending lots of hugs your way darling xxxxx
  • Hi Cherrypicker, just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you. I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. Hugs FutureMrsPyatt
  • ANITA128ukANITA128uk Posts: 437
    poor baby, my advice would be to tell your family when you feel emotionally ready to. dont know what else to say honey, but im thinking of you. xxxx big kisses. anita
  • Coco-25Coco-25 Posts: 1,105
    Huge hugs to you. I can't imagine how you feel but wanted to say that I am thinking of you and sending you lots of luck and love.

  • TulipLawsonTulipLawson Posts: 529
    That's terrible poor you but things will work out in the end chick chin up
  • I hope your ok?

    I have also been through a miscarridge and you do feel so empty and that is without all the upset you are all ready going through.

    You should tell you parents they will be more upset if you dont tell them and they find out afterwards.

    Things willl get better its hard to think of this now. My mum used to say to me things happen for a reason.

    I have a beautiful baby boy now and it is brilliant.

    Look forward to the furture things will get better.

    If you need to chat let me know

    Claire x
  • Hey thanks Claire! Congratulations on your baby boy!

    It's good to know that life goes on after a miscarriage (even if it doesn't feel like it now). I just feel like a bit of a freak, even though I know so many people have been through the same thing, it's almost normal...

    We want to try and get pregnant again right away, and I really hope it 'sticks' next time. I'm going to see my GP tomorrow to talk things through. I'm also going to have a scan to make sure everything has been shed. I think I will be able to look to the future after that.

    Thanks for your words of encouragement...

  • It took me a my h2b 18 months to get pregnant the first time and then a month after my miscarridge I was pregnant again.

    I know its hard but it will get eaiser and before you know it you will have a little bundle of your own.

    My H2b used to say to me 'your body is a clever thing and something was not right so it did what was best'. It's hard to think of it that way but things do happen for a reason.

    Once one have had your scan you will start to feel better i did.

    I'm here if you need to talk things over its best speaking with someone who knows what your going through.

    Claire x
  • Hi Claire

    Funnily enough, my husband says the same as yours, "Your body is very efficient and it knew something wasn't right"...

    Went to the doctor this evening and she gave me some info to read, which was really helpful. She is also going to investigate the impact of me having a Rhesus negative blood group because I am a bit worried about that impacting a future pregnancy. I have got the scan booked for next week too, so that is a productive step.

    Can I ask you if your cycle went back to normal after the m/c? I guess it must have done if you got pg straight away. That must have been a relief after it taking 18 months the first time! Reason I ask is that I'm normally really regular but that may be messed up as I have been bleeding for a week with no signs of it letting up. I think I might get some ovulation sticks...

    In the meantime, I'm going to take some time to mourn this loss and try and get well physically.

    Thanks again. xx
  • My cycle is really regular too every 28 days to the date.

    When I MC i did bleed for a long time then 28 days after the bleeding stopped my period returned as normal. Your cycle re-starts it self as my doctor said.

    Let me know how you get on, everything will look a whole lot better once you have your scan. Everyday you will start to feel more sunnier!

    Claire x
  • loobylou2ukloobylou2uk Posts: 344
    Sorry for your loss hun, I suffered a miscarriage too in January it's a truly painful experience I really feel for you.

    We didn't tell the il2b's that I was pregnant and h2b didn't want to upset them afterwards. But I'd told my mum already, I spoke to her afterwards and said that I wish I hadn't told her I was pregnant in the first place, she said she'd have been really upset if I hadn't, as upsetting as the miscarriage was she was glad to be able to comfort me when I needed it.

    It's a hard one with what your parents and you must already be going through but don't bottle up your feelings. I found a website raising they have a miscarriage support forum, I found it really helped to talk to people going through the same thing and just being able to rant on there was real thearapy.

    Like Claire said if you want to talk to someone I'd be happy to give you my email address.

    Take care, Lou xx
  • Thanks for your support girls image

    I was feeling really sad all day today, so I went on the miscarriage association website and read some of the stories that people have put up there. That helped a lot.

    When I came home from work I felt really upset again and then I realised that I really missed my brother and the inquest last week brought back all the anguish I felt at the time of his death. I had a good cry about it with my hub and feel much better now.

    We decided to leave it a few weeks to tell both sets of parents, to give mine a chance to recover from the ordeal of the inquest. We also decided that if we get pg again, we will tell them straight away so that we don't have to hide anything from them like this time, and also so we have their support from the word go, whatever the outcome...

    Thanks again xx
  • I was really sorry for both your losses. I had lots of m/c but oddly the one that stuck was the one pregnancy I had 12 weeks after my only daughter died.. that was very hard.

    I have a wonderful little boy now, he will be 2 tomorrow, life goes on I'm afraid even when ours falls apart. I am sure you will have a successful pregnancy soon, and the thing about telling people... if you don't want to say anything and they don't know anyway why tell them? I had 6 m/c (but a lot older than you!) and only disclosed one. Good luck, and lots of luck and baby dust.

    June x
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