Bad news at my 12 week scan

I'm a little bit scared right now. On friday, I had some light bleeding... so my doc booked me in for a scan on the tuesday. On saturday, I had more bleeding.. so my h2b took me to the maternity clinic to get checked over. I had an internal exam, and the doctor told me my cervix was fully sealed, so no active miscarriage was taking place.. however, when I went for my scan, the nurse told me the baby wasn't the correct size for 12 weeks, and looked like it had stopped growing a few weeks back. I was absolutely devastated...

The thing is, I had my last period in feb.. which would make me 12 weeks on the day I had my scan. She said it wasn't the right size for this... in March, I had a day or 2 of very light bleeding, but not really like a period. If this was, in fact, my period.. then the baby would be the right size. I have to go back for a follow up scan to see if there have been any changes.. she didn't sound very hopeful, and kept saying she was sorry.

I don't know what to do, or how I'm meant to be feeling. I've had dark brown discharge for a week now, but only get red bleeding maybe once every other day, and this is really light.. not quite as light as spotting though.

I cried all of the way home... it was such a horrid feeling. They say that you just "know" when you're loosing your baby... I don't feel like anything at all has changed, and I only feel different emotionally because I'm being told something bad is happening. Do I hold out hope that maybe, just maybe, my dates are wrong? I don't want to hope for this in case I'm told the worst news on tuesday... but I don't want to give up, because I don't know how I'll react when it finally sinks in and then I'm told there isn't anything wrong. Argh... I don't feel like I'm not pregnant, I'm still getting the occasional bout of sickness, too.

I just wish I knew one way or the other. She didn't even listen for the heart beat... sorry for the rant, I'm just a little bag of crazy right now and don't know what I should be doing to keep myself sane.image


  • Aww KittieRachael I'm sorry to hear your news.

    I don't really know what to say but just wanted to give you ***hugs***.

    I miscarried some years ago now and I didn't even know i was pregnant so I don't believe you just know when you lose them.

    Good luck on Tuesday i'll have everything crossed for you huns

  • Awww, big (((hugs))) hun... Sorry you're going through this.

    I'll join you in the scared corner... My first pg ended in mc back in March (funnily enough I did have a feeling it was going to happen - I think it's the hormne levels dropping). I got pg again straight away but it was immediately obvious to me this one wasn't progressing properly either. But the thing is I haven't mc'd yet and it seems to stubbornly still be in there. I went to the Dr on Tuesday and she said she wanted to investigate me for an ectopic!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm sh** scared I might need an operation (then I'll have to tell my parents and they've been through enough recently - my brother died 6mths ago...). I'm also so scared I'm gonna lose my ferlilty and never be able to have to LO I dream of... I'm finding it hard to function at the moment, all I wanna do is curl up on the sofa and cry. Oh, I'm in a real mess right now, sorry to ramble on but I just wanted to say you're not alone...

    I've got my fingers crossed for you and I hope it's just a case of your dates being wrong. When did you get your BFP hun??
  • debz82debz82 Posts: 141
    I don't really know what to say honey other than I'm thinking of you. Sending a hug x
  • Fran44Fran44 Posts: 136
    Cheerypicker and KittieRachael ,

    I don't have any advice to offer but I couldn't read this and not let you know that I'm thinking of you. Big hugs an let us know how you go,

    Love Fran xxx
  • kelleytobekelleytobe Posts: 405
    I dont have any advice either but have my fingers crossed for you both x
  • heidim69heidim69 Posts: 76
    I got pregnant in feb 2006 , at my 12 week scan they discovered i was carrying twins, but one had stopped growing and was beginning to miscarry, they told me that i would lose the other baby as a result of this. At 18 weeks after yet another scan they wanted to keep me in hospital as they thought i was an imminent risk of miscarriage, i refused simply because i didnt want to stay in a hospital with people i didnt know and would prefer to be at home. In october i gave birth to a 7lb 8oz little boy - he had hung on and wouldnt give up, now he is 19 months and a normal (naughty) little boy. Sometimes hospitals do get it wrong and my thoughts are with you at this time xx
  • MrsLThomas2bMrsLThomas2b Posts: 140
    I was also told at 12 week scan that I wasn't 12 weeks pregnant. The sonographer very rudely told me that I obviously had my dates wrong because I was only 5 weeks pg not 12 - which didn't add up because I had known I was pg 5 weeks before had so if this was the case I would have been showing a positive on a pregancy the day I conceived!

    Unfortunatley I did go on to miscarry 2 weeks later and no problems were picked up. I only had the brown discharge for a few days and then the period pain and blood started. I also knew something wasn't right even before the discharge.

    I really hope everything goes ok for you and it doesn't always end this way. Alot of women bleed all the way through their pregnancies. I know it's a hard time but try to look forward. Everyone told me that and I refused to listen but as soon as I did I felt so much stronger in myself. I am now 21 weeks pg and taking each day as it comes.


  • KimbyukKimbyuk Posts: 49
    KittieRachael and Cherrypicker,

    Sounds like you're going through hell on earth at the moment. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you both that everything turns out OK. Good luck. Xx
  • ariel_vampariel_vamp Posts: 2,415
    I'm sorry for both of you too and think a similar thing might be happening to me. I had a couple of days of dark brown discharge at 7 weeks but didnt go to the doctors or anything. I am 10 weeks now and had a tiny bit this morning too- but i know the baby was alive at 6 weeks cos i had an early scan. Never had anything like this with any of my other babies.

    I suppose i should go and see someone but my scan appointment will be soon so i'm not sure if i should just wait.

    Thing is i get married in 3 weeks!

    KittiRachael- they would not actually listen for a heartbeat. It would show up as a flicker on the screen but they can only detect this about 6 weeks.

    Cherrypicker- I had an ectopic but knew this cos i had really bad pains in one side of my womb. They whipped me into hospital that night to remove the baby and my left tube. Don't be too scared they make a little hole in your bellybutton and the tube itself and do it that way. If you need to know any more then feel free to ask

    I hope it works out ok for you both.

  • mummychopmummychop Posts: 310

    I've no direct experience to share sorry, I'm 10 weeks and have first scan in 2 weeks but just wanted to say that I'll be thinking of you both and really hope that things work out for the best.

    R xx
  • hi i dont really know what to say, but didnt want to read and run. thinking og you hun and have my fingers and toes crossed for you x
  • KittieRachael, how are you coping? I really hope you get good news on Tuesday.

    Just a quick update from me, I am now in the process of miscarrying which is a relief after all these weeks of being in limbo. I don't think it was ectopic after all because all my pain is in the middle of my tummy.

    Thanks for the reassurance Lisa-Lou. Just out of curiosity, how far along were you when you had the ectopic removed? Your current situation is certainly a dilemma. Are you going away on honeymoon? If so, it might be better to find out what's going on before your wedding... I've got my fingers crossed for you!! xx
  • ariel_vampariel_vamp Posts: 2,415
    Hi cherrypicker- I was 6 weeks gone when they took out the ectopic. I had really only just found out and then started having pains etc.

    I am going on honeymoon so i'm going to the doctors to see if they can do my 12 week scan this week (i should be 11 weeks anyway). Then i can hopefully enjoy my hen night on saturday!

    I'm sorry for what's happening to you but it must be a relief to know. xx
  • emmascan101emmascan101 Posts: 1,495
    im thinking of you both and sending lots of hugs

  • Thank you everyone for your support... sorry I haven't been on to reply.

    I miscarried on Friday night. It was the most painful experience ever, and I'm not even onto the emotional side of that yet. I feel emotionally detached from this event.

    I had really bad cramping pains on Friday, and some heavy bleeding.. but I still went to work. At about 10pm, I couldn't handle the pain anymore... the cramps felt so sharp and like someone was tearing away my uterus.. every 2 minutes I was doubled over in pain, and the pain made me cry. My h2b works as a bouncer in my nightclub, and he phoned my parents who took me to the RVI.

    After my scan on Tuesday, I was give a little green "open access" card until then, in case I had any problems. Well, Friday was a bit of a problem. I went to the RVI and explained I had an open access card - the receptionist phoned up the maternity ward, only to tell me they deal with 14 week pregnancies and over only. I reiterated the point that I had this open access card, but she told me I had to go to accident and emergency at the General.. grrr. Turns out the RVI have a maternity ward for 14 weeks and over, and they have "maternity unit" for under 14 weeks. You'd think the receptionist would know this, and call up the right one.

    Fine, so, off I go to the General Hospital , only to sit there for a few hours in the worst pain I've ever been in in my entire life. I could not take the paracetamol because it made me vomit straight away, so they brought in "gas and air" - can't remember what it's actual name is, but it helped. It made my entire body go tingly, even the tip of my nose.. which I didn't really like too much, but it made the pain a little easier to bare.

    I was told, because of the pain and bleeding, I'd have to go to the gyno ward at the RVI - funny, as I'd been there in the first place with the same problem. I had to wait in the General for SEVEN hours before they'd transfer me to the RIV. Apparently I wasn't allowed to go in the car because of the bleeding and pain, but the turn around for an ambulance was over an hour per person.

    I was seen at the RVI as soon as I got there, and the reason I was in so much pain was because there was fetal tissue stuck in my cervix. They managed to relieve most of my pain within seconds by removing this. They apologised so much for being turned away from the RVI even though I had my open access pass. They said it should never have happened, and to think - instead of being in severe pain for over 7 hours, I could've been out of pain in minutes and sent home only a few hours later. I think I'm angry with them.. but I can't quite make it out right now. I just don't have the emotional energy to even start to dissect what I might be feeling.

    I got to go home at 10am Saturday morning. I'm not allowed to go to work - she said anywhere between a few days, and a few weeks.. however long it takes me, both physically and emotionally.

    My boss knows, and he's gonna put me on a weeks holiday from work and we'll see what needs to happen after then.

    I keep crying, but I can't figure out why. It hasn't really set in yet, and I feel like my tears are "empty" and like there's no reason for them at the moment, other than knowing I should be upset.

    I had a scary moment when I went to the toilet yesterday.. I'm used to the small clots I've been passing when I go, but there was something very large.. kind of golf ball size and shape, very jelly like. It was the weirdest feeling when it left my body. Usually, I'm very nosey and like to see exactly what is happening, but I saw that and just flushed the toilet. I didn't want to see what it might be, as much as I wonder.

    On the 2nd of July, there's a cremation service for my baby and the babies of other women who have lost them this month. I'm not sure if I really want to go.. but I have time to think about it.

    Sorry for the long update. I guess at least I know what's happening.

    I have to wait until I've had a natural period to start trying again (I really want another baby). I'm just scared of how I'll feel until I know everything is okay. Does anybody know if they do early scans, maybe 6 weeks or so, if you've previously miscarried?

    Well done if you managed to read all that.. and thank you again for all of your support.

    Cherrypicker, I'm sorry you're going through this, too.. as much of a wreck as I might be in the next week, if you need to talk to me about it, I guess I might understand a little more than most right now.

    Lisa-Lou, I hope everything goes just fine for you and you get to enjoy your hen night and your wedding!
  • So sorry to hear this, you sound like you are doing amazingly well given the circumstances. You might feel up to the service on 2nd July to give you some closure, but of course you will need to see how you feel at the time.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your OH xx
  • Mrs-D-2bMrs-D-2b Posts: 187
    Hi Kittie Rachael.

    I didnt want to just read and run, but I really dont know what to say.

    It sounds like you have been throught the mill with the hospital episode which has clarly made things a whole lot worse.

    I can only imagine how terrible you feel. My friend phoned me this weekend to say she had miscarried at 10 weeks and I didnt know what to say to her either. She said that her best advice so far was that atleast she knows that she can get pregnant. There are so many women where this is not possible and she said that made he feel a lots more positive for the future and trying again.

    I hope this hleps.

  • shopaholicukshopaholicuk Posts: 1,478
    hi first of all i am sorry for your the loss of your baby(been there)hugs to you and your partner

    secondly you need to speeck to doctor regarding large clot

    as this can mean they need to do a d+c to make sure all of baby and placenter(sp)is out of womb

    sorry if this is not what you want to hear now but best to speek to doctor

    ps i need d+c after my misscarraige and fell pregant the month after
  • Hi KittieRachael

    I really am so, so sorry to hear what you are going through and I completely understand how you are feeling and am sending you my love and thoughts. I had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago (I was 11 weeks pregnant) and it was the most painful experience (both physically and emotionally). I too felt numb and detached and I cried and cried. You must allow yourself time to grieve and let it all out. And don't ever think it was something you did or didn't do, it was just nature taking its course. It will get better (although I know you won't feel like it will now). I am trying to focus on the positive now especially, like Mrs-D-2b says above, that I was able to get pregnant and that it will happen again.

    Like all the other lovely ladies on this site, I am here for you and I'm thinking of you.

    CherryPicker & Lisa-Lou - I'm sending you my love and thoughts too.

    Hannah xx

  • I just had a phone call from the antenatal ward at the RVI asking me when I'm able to go in for my scan.. I had to explain to the woman that I miscarried on saturday in the same hospital that she was phoning from. Do they not communicate between wards?!

    I'm so pissed off. I was actually getting through the day okay until then.

    ...and now I have to go to the doctors and hand them my hospital notes so I can get a sick note. I just don't feel like leaving the house.
  • WattersonukWattersonuk Posts: 429

    I'm in tears reading this - i cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling but want you to know that you are in my thoughts and i hope that the people you love around you will wrap you up in their warmth and comfort. I'm truely devistated for you, just recently i have been getting extremley broody and stories like yours really touch my heart.


  • ariel_vampariel_vamp Posts: 2,415
    Oh i'm so sorry kittieRachael, you should never have been treated the way you were.

    If you don't want to leave the house then don't!! Can your h2b not take your notes in for you?

    Just do the things you can cope with- sod everyone else hun xx
  • teddypublicanteddypublican Posts: 523
    So sorry. I'm 24 weeks pregnant at the moment and on edge all the time as I had a bad scare at 12 weeks, brown spotting but we seem to have come through the worst. When I saw this post I started crying for you.

    My heart goes out to you. Take care x x x
  • meganmooukmeganmoouk Posts: 247
    just to say i'm thinking of everyone who has lost there babies or having problems with bleeding. My first pregnancy about 7 years ago now ended in miscarriage and i found it deeply upsetting and it messed up my head for a long time. 2 years later i became pregnant again, i found out very ealy but suffered from bleeding from the start it was very frightening but they kept telling me it was fairly normal. i had several early scans at about 6 weeks and 8 weeks then 12 weeks and everything was fine except the bleeding persisted. Will say there was a happy outcome for this pregnancy as i had a perfectly healthy 9lb 8 baby boy but i was terrified the whole pregnancy that i was gonna lose him. I think every health authority has different procedures regarding early scans and the care you receive.
  • Hi KittieRachael, just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear what you have been through. Take care of yourself and make sure you talk through your feelings with your OH. You will get through this together. xx
  • pixiepantsukpixiepantsuk Posts: 2,326
    What an awful experience to be then put through that when you arrived. I am sorry to hear of your loss xxx
  • butterfly83ukbutterfly83uk Posts: 426
    I was just flicking through when i came across your post, it really got to me. I hope you are coping well and you have a supportive network around you, i cannot even imagine how you feel right now. I miscarried a few years ago, but i hadn't even known i was pregnant so it isn't really the same at all.

    Sending lots of thoughts and best wishes to you and your husband. I cannot believe the hospital treated you in this way, when you were going through such an awful time.
  • mummychopmummychop Posts: 310
    Ladies, so sorry to read of your loss. KP I can;t believe the hospital were so incapable on 2 occasions but try not to think of that right now and focus only on how you feel.

    And remember that your h2b will also be suffering, try make this something to bring you both even closer. I will be thinking of you and pray you will go on to have a lovely family

    Rosa x
  • AngelRukAngelRuk Posts: 45
    I'm so sorry for you, it sounds so awful. Hospitals can be so s**t sometimes and forget that although they see this quite often, it is a new and deadful experience for the mother. I had a really bad experience with the hospital when i had an ectopic so I have some idea at how much worse it makes things when you are so low anyway at having lost your baby. I really hope you have someone to talk to so you can get your feelings out. I kept it all in and didn't really grieve for months afterwards as everyone focused on the ectopic and the fact i hadn't died rather than talk to me about the loss of my baby. When I finally could talk about it, it made so much difference to be able to let my feelings out.

    Sending lots of love to you and your H2B

    A x
  • MrsRammy2BMrsRammy2B Posts: 2,258
    Oh I am so so sorry for your loss.

    I have suffered 2 miscarriages in the last year. The first was by far th worst, I was so far along that I actually had to give birth to the baby. The second was also awful, at 9 weeks, but to honest was kind of a relief as I had had so many problems in the few weeks I knew and I knew it was going to happen was just waiting for when!!

    Anyway, what I am trying to say is, Despite the last year, I am now expecting a healthy baby. The doctors have been brill cos of what has happened in the past and are doing scans all the time to make sure everything looks good. I am still very scared that it will happen again, but I just need to keep reminding myself that it is natures course and that my body rejected these babies cos there was something wrong with them.

    Please make sure you rest and your h2b gives you all the love and attention you need at a time like now. I am always here for you to talk to. There is no right or wrong way for you to deal with this, just take each day as it comes. xx
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