The story of us...and the 'no theme' wedding...

I promised myself I wasn't going to start a planning thread as the wedding is 23 months away...however I can't possibly wait that long ha! Plus I have organised quite a lot and feel that having a thread of it's own I could bounce a few ideas off you lovely ladies. image



  • Ahh genuinely excited about this planning thread! I'm getting married a few weeks after you (31.01.15) so the fact you're doing this makes it seem closer!
  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    How we met...

     I had split up with my ex of a fair few years in the November, in a spectacularly dramatic fashion that pretty much summed up our joke of a relationship. After him I was HAPPY to be single, I loved socialising and was either on nights out or gigs, I was never at home. As for Mr K, he had split up with his long term girlfriend in the August but had decided to stay in Lincoln, where they had moved together. He didn't know a lot of people so only really mixed with work colleagues who weren't big on nights outs as most had families etc. Fast forward to March and our paths crossed. The most awful bit of this story is that neither of us really remember a great deal about our first proper meeting, we bonded over a mutual like of Blood Red Shoes in a club and swapped numbers. No kiss or anything like that. To be honest, I think he gave me his number as he fancied a friend to go out with! He denies this and tells me he thought I was 'fit'. Eloquent as always.

    Anyway, a few days passed and I got a text saying "Hi it's M, we met the other night. How are you? Good night?". I remember being surprised he text but replied with yet more small talk. The texts increased and we would speak all day everyday, I used to get excited receiving his texts but kept ignoring it as I felt he was just looking for a pal. After about 3 weeks of texting, it was a lovely afternoon in March and I text asking if he fancied going to the beer garden, I was still very much in party girl mode. He said he couldn't as he was on call out. Not really knowing what call out was I took it as a knock back and chastised myself for being stupid enough to ask him out. 

    I didn't text him for a day or two and he text me asking if I was OK, after replying I was, he text again asking if I fancied going out for something to eat sometime, either as friends or perhaps a date?...


  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    Thanks Mrs G!!!! image

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    Well I analyse everything, I think it is something to do with being an English teacher and studying language and literature looking for hidden meaning! Ha! I text male friends and asked what they thought he meant by "as friends or perhaps a date", they all said that he was just covering his bum in case I rejected him. They all felt it was blindingly obvious but I needed to make sure!

    Fast forward to the weekend and I met him at his house ready to walk into the city centre and go for food. He just had to make a quick call to his mum (awwwwwwww) so made me a cuppa and I waited in the kitchen. His iTunes account was open so I had a nose through it, it was full of heavy metal...what the hell?!! When he came back I quizzed him over it and he admitted he was really into it and was even in a metal band! At this point I was laughing at him, and we started discussing music in general, a major passion for us both. In the end we sat at the kitchen table drinking tea and playing each other songs on Spotify until 2am! I remember it being freezing cold and him insisting on walking me to my car, he walked with his arm around me and I clearly remember thinking "Oh heck! I'm in way over my head", my heart was pounding as we said goodbye. I was so disappointed when he turned to walk away. He swears he literally saw the disappointment on my face but I think he is exaggerating somewhatimage The next few seconds was a blur as he turned, rushed up to me and snogged my face off.

    I am going to be a total cheesball here but it was the most amazing kiss in the world. I felt like a teenager.

    We started dating and after about a month he took me up to the Lake District where his mum has a holiday home, I met his mum and step dad and he referred to me as his girlfriend for the first time. Playing it cool I immediately changed my Facebook status. image

    Old pic of us from the first trip to the Lakes.



  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    Our life

    M had his own house so I just stayed there a few times a week at first. It got to the point I was there that much it seemed silly to be paying rent elsewhere, I moved back in with my parents and then just stopped at M's as and when. I say I moved back with my parents but really I just moved in with M. But I think we both needed it this way for a bit as it all happened fairly quickly. Eventually after about 4 months of this arrangement I just moved in properly, we loved living together and things were great.

    Meet Ned.


    We both loved dogs, but I had never had one. I admit I mithered him on the matter but last year at the start of the summer holidays, we went and got our 'little boy'. Being parents to a dog has not been as easy, think Marley & Me. He is such a rascal.

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    The proposal

    We had discussed marriage. We moved in after 4 months, we bought a car together after 8 and then we got Ned. It was unwritten that we both considered this forever. I didn't feel any pressure to get engaged as I felt utterly loved and could not see how marriage would make it any better. However we had discussed rings as I had a very particular dream, I  my grandma gave me her engagement and wedding ring before she passed away, and I wanted these making in to an unique e-ring.

    My best friend and her partner, who we are very close to as a couple, got engaged last summer and I started to feel differentlty about marriage. It wasn't jealousy but I finally saw the value in getting married, as settled and content as we were, marriage would just make things perfect.

    I dropped hints. Hints about my new found appreciation of marriage. I got zero response. "You said it was just a bit of paper. This is only because X is getting married..." Oh heck!

    NYE 2012 - we decided to stay in, we made homemade pizza dough, opened some wine, got silly drinking homemade jagerbombs. It was a fun night, at 1am we were in kitchen and whilst I was manhandling a huge pizza, M expressed a desire to get married. Half listening I responded saying that if that was meant to be a proposal he should have a re-think. He then proceeded to tell me that he had been doing nothing but think about it recenetly, as I turned around he was on one knee holding what looked like a diamond ring. My stomach flipped and rather than elegantly saying yes, I piled on top of him hugging him! The ring was in fact a CZ silver ring he had bought for the proposal, he didn't feel comfortable doing it without a ring but knew I wanted my grandma's ring restyling.

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    The ring

    We went to a woman called Ruth who owns I had seen her website and loved the re-styled jewellery on there. We met with her and immediately she knew exactly what I wanted and put us straight at ease. She sent us a CGI design of the ring and it was literally my dream ring.

     We decided to go ahead and I had it made in platinum.

    Here is me wearing the ring, please excuse the chipped nail polish! I should really take another photo!


  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    The venue

    We decided on December 2014 as it gave us 2 years to plan, plus we are buying a second house, so this allowed us to do both. I had always wanted a winter wedding so it wasn't much of a debate. I didn't plan to book anything yet but looking at popular venues, I found some already booked. I freaked out, and I mean FREAKED out. Immediately I booked viewings, telling M he could come with me or just wait and come with me to the ones I really liked. He decided to get in the swing of things and participate. This participation has now dwindled!

    Believe me when I say this wedding started out small. We were thinking 50 day guests max, just very close family. For that reason I fell in love with Kelham House, I really loved the fact it was exclusive hire yet still intimate. I was ready to put down the deposit.

    My dad and M said I needed to see other places and insisted we see some more. So off we went to Stubton Hall. I was adamant I wasn't going to get married there, it was too grand for our wedding, too big, I had heard mixed reviews...I had a list. A big serving of humble pie for me! I adored it, it made my stomach flip. M loved it, my parents loved it, it was perfect.





     I have to say, we have absolutely no complaints with the service we have received from the wedding co-ordinators at SH. They have been really helpful with everything.

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    Themes and colour schemes

    OK, let's get one thing out in the open. There is no theme to our wedding. This isn't a conscious decision, I just can't force one. It has however become a major issue with my mum who KEEPS asking me "so what is the theme?"...she cannot get her head around the fact there is no theme. I stupidly told her it was 'Winter' and for weeks she sent me loads of things with snowflakes... image She has finally come to terms with it but I am still prone to outbursts of "THERE IS NOT A BLOODY THEME".

    I haven't made things any better with with my choice of colour scheme. I love white, I love the blank canvas feeling, I just like lots of white. Mum put her foot down and said there needed to be an accent colour, I countered with...grey. She is horrified. I am in love. Pale grey, hints of silver, maybe even some charcoal. Crystals like ice twinkling in the light, lots of candlelight. In my head it works.

    M has chosen a black three piece slim fit suit that he is having made closer to the time, I think it will contrast nicely with the white and grey.

    I've also wound my mother up more so with the absence of flowers. I am not a flower kind of girl, it is just personal preference but I feel I can get away with it in December. There will be bouquets but no flower centrepieces or decoration.

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280


    This is where you ladies come in. I am torn in terms of BM colours, I like the elegance of black but I have also fallen hard for Dessy charcoal. I will post some pictures and hopefully you can all offer some advice/constructive criticism.

    These are the two I like...

     I am going for lavender bouquets a la this!

     I know I haven't technically got any purple in the wedding but I think it compliments the white and grey, or even black.


  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    My first purchase for the wedding.

    I bought some Cox & Cox bauble placecard holders from a lovely bride on YAYW, 60 in total.

     Our numbers have now increased so I am waiting for them to come back in stock on the website.

  • Love the colour scheme!

    We are going white with a bit of black, so black bridesmaids dresses, black and white stationary etc. However the picture of the flowers makes me think you should go for the charcoal, gorgeous!

  • Congratulations i'm also a fellow 2014 bride with a planning thread lol! I love the charcoal dessy dress, i think it looks really elegant, especially with the lavender as the bouquet. The sound of candles and twinkly crystals sound beautiful!!! And your ring is WOW, absolutely stunning! xx

  • MrsWifeyMrsWifey Posts: 457
    This thread is great. Love the colour scheme and venue. Love your pooch too! Can't wait to read more xx
  • Hi I love your choice of colours. I'm having purple but also silver or grey BM dresses and I also plan to have lavender bouquets! Love your style of writing and story- keep it coming! I'm getting married in 2014 too x
  • Your story is so lovely! My partner and I started like that, but then he proposed image

    I feel like I know you from somewhere. Your face is sooooo familiar.

    Sorry to sound creepy.

    Please continue with your plans x
  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280
    Thanks everyone! I will continue later, just on my phone at the moment.

    I think I am leaning back towards the charcoal dresses now after a bit of input; I'm eo easily swayed!

    Tiggy - are you using fresh or dried lavender?

    PrincessBec - where abouts are you from?
  • TickleyJessTickleyJess Posts: 1,649

    Yay!  You've started a planning thread! image

    Lovely ideas so far - I adore the bridesmaids dresses - especially the top dress.  The story of how you got together is so nice x

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280
    Awww thanks Jess. I always think it's a bit boring compared to others stories, we were just two people that liked each other. Touch wood, and I know I'm jinxing it here but we haven't ever argued properly.

    I've got my MoH coming down from Manchester next weekend so we are going to try the Twist&Wrap dress and go from there. The only issue there is that I will still have to go to Dessy and buy a dress for my 13 year old niece, I don't know it is easier to get them all together. I never envisaged there would be so much to think about!!

    Do you think it matters if the groom and bridesmaids are in black? Will that look odd?

  • TickleyJessTickleyJess Posts: 1,649

    Not at all - as someone whose bridesmaids are all wearing black and whose groom and groomsmen will be wearing black tailcoats, I certainly won't judge you!  In fact, the only colour will be from my parents and only because my father will be wearing his army uniform.

    Let me know how the Twist & Wrap dresses go.  We were a bit perplexed to begin with about how to tie them, but we printed off the PDF guide on the BHS website and that helped.  I would do what you're doing - there's a big age range and it should be easier to do it separately.

  • MRCJMRCJ Posts: 225
    Hooray! A local bride....

    I love black. It's tres elegant and ALL over style me pretty.
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253



    and i love the black/grey colours, looks really elegant and in terms of black bm and groom, well i hope not because my bm, groom and both mothers have all decded to wear black image

  • I love this! Your venue is incredible, love your colour scheme, flowers and ring... all gorgeous. And I love Ned!
  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    Thank you for all the positive comments! It is nice to have some input from people, I think everyone in my life is sick of hearing about it.

    So here I am swaying more towards black now...I am starting to see why M is suggesting I hang fire for a bit in case I change my mind!!! I think in my heart of hearts I prefer black but then feel the grey is a bit lost if I don't have it for my bridesmaids. I think it may come down to the dress they prefer...but then again the Dessy dress also comes in black. 

    Decisions!!! I feel like this...


  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    On to happier bridesmaids and more Ned.


    This I felt was a no brainer, my 3 closest friends and my niece who will be 13 by the time the wedding comes around. This has now decreased to 2 friends and my niece. It has been a bit of a sad time concerning the third friend, I think we drifted apart a long time ago but neither of us wanted to admit it. However the wedding has brought things to a head, funny how weddings always seem to force an issue, and without going into it I now have my 2 best friends. Both of their partners are friends with M so we see each other socially as much as we can, 1 lives locally and 1 lives in Machester. My friend in Manchester gets married next April and I am BM for her too. Pretty exciting year for our group of friends. image

    Both are slim (size 10) but both are fairly short so intially I was going to have short shift dresses, tights, pearls - all very Breakfast At Tiffany's. Then once the venue was decided, everyone felt that full length dresses would be more fitting. I have also lucked out as local BM is also a fantastic hairdresser so she has said she would love to do my hair on the day, and I am going to ask another friend to do my mum and BM's hair.


    I thought you could have a few photos of the boy! Seen as he has stolen the show a bit, very similar to what happens in real life, he is hard not to like, even if a little nuts!














  • Loving the thread so far, can't wait to hear more!
  • What breed of dog is Ned? He looks like a staffy. My brother in law has a staffy cross and is pretty mental. I'm from Nottingham btw. But still can't think of where I recognise you from. It could all be just a similarity you have to a friend maybe?
  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280
    Thanks Stevens2B image x

    He is a Rhodesian ridgeback cross, the vet is almost certain he is part staffy too. He has a very staffy face. Just very long legs, he's far too tall to be a full staffy, plus he has the ridge down his back too.

    Less Ned, more wedding! image On my phone so photos wil have to be later tonight. We have decided to go with a naked wedding cake for our main cake. We are going to have four layers of our favourite types of cake, and then just have them dusted with icing sugar. The cakes from Momofuku Milk Bar are the inspiration.

    I am currently waiting to hear back about cupcakes for the evening. We are having a hog roast for the evening reception, plus an Alice In Wonderland themed sweet table (more about that later when I can upload photos!) but I think towers of cupcakes will finish it off.

    I was thinking about having the cupcakes and sweet table tie in with the white and grey...but it does limit it all somewhat. So my other ideas was to have lots of bright colours and just go all out with a fantasy goodie table. Or is that just a sh*t idea? Pardon my french but sometimes I think I need reigning-in! My friend and art teacher is going to help me create a sculpture with teapots and teacups as a nod tpwards the Mad Hatters tea party. So I feel like I 'could' go all out...

    Over to you, ladies!
  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    Happy half term!

    Had such a busy week at work I haven't had too much time to really have a look at the forum. Booooooo image  However I now have a week off so plan to look at plenty of wedding-y type things. image

    Had more of a think about my dessert/sweet table and I think I am going to go for pastel colours, that way it will still compliment the white and grey colour scheme. It also gives me more scope in terms of cupcake decoration and sweet choice. Plus Mr K loves the icecream parlour Jelly Bean flavours, so these will tie in perfectly. Love it when a plan comes together. 

    Table names

    This was weirdly very important to me, I didn't want just anything for the sake of it. After discussion with the boy, he allowed me to go it alone and decide what we had. I knew I wanted quotes, possibly from my favourite books, possibly just quotes we liked. In the end it was some of the former and mostly the latter.

    Every woman is just a different kind of problem. - Chuck Palahniuk - My favourite author, however Mr K chose the quote! image

    Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere. - Albert Einstein - We just like this one.

    I've not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work. -Thomas Edison - Mr K once told me he fell in love with me when he realised how resiliant I was, it might not seem romantic but it has great significance to things that were going on at the time. 

    Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none. - William Shakespeare - Just because I love the bard.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it is too dark to read. - Groucho Marx - In honour of Ned.

    Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. - Mark Twain - Aimed at my dad, his favourite saying is "mañana mañana", Spanish for tomorrow, tomorrow.

    So many books, so little time. - Frank Zappa - I'm an English teacher.

    Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde - This has pride of place in my classroom.

    Top table - The best is yet to be. - Robert Browning - From quite early on it was apparent that Mr K and I were going to be in it for the long haul, and on the first of my birthdays that we shared, both he and my mum bought me a card with this quote on the front!!!! I loved the fact Mr K was implying we had a fantastic future ahead of us, but I also loved the fact my mum was clearly excited about our future too. 

  • MrsK2014MrsK2014 Posts: 280

    I would like frames like these to display the quotes. I think they will make a statement against all the white and grey. Font is important to me, I am going to download an old typewriter style font.





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