I've been thinking about writing a planning thread for a while and have finally decided to take the plunge and share the planning for our multicultural wedding in October!
so I suppose I better start with how we met......
Ooh - I'm looking forward to this one
In 2007 I found myself moving from my home town of Swansea to the bright lights of Manchester for my then boyfriend, the relationship was abusive and I became completely isolated in a new city with no support network close at hand, by the time the relationship ended 2 years later I was a shadow of my former self, I had no confidence and no real friends.
My mum expected me to come home, but I refused my job was here and I was determined to make a life for myself up north, so I joined a social networking site to meet new people and never looked back!
Skip to December 2009, I had just returned from a trek to Everest base camp (a life long dream) brimming with new confidence. One of the friends I had made through a paid social network site had set up his own free site, he was running a new members night and asked if I wanted to come along.
So there we were sat in Odd bar in the Northern quarter only a few people had turned up and only 2 were new members, when in walks this not unattractive Indian guy, he did the awkward "are you with ms social group?" we welcomed him, he introduced himself as Mr kat and we spent the night chatting.
As we were leaving we invited him to a party in January a notorious man eating friend was organising for the group I joked he would have to watch himself with her! He replied "oh I've got a girlfriend so she's out of luck" I replied that it probably wouldn't stop her! while thinking - makes sense all the good ones are taken!
Christmas came and in January I had booked onto a 4 week salsa course one of the girls had organised, I arrived early and was pleasantly surprised to find Mr. kat already there, we exchanged pleasantries and I asked if his girlfriend was coming, assuming she was coming later, nope they had broken up over Christmas!
at this point other people started arriving and then the class started, any one who has been to salsa class will know that the ratio of female to male is about 20:1 so imagine my surprise when I end up partnered with Mr.Kat! over the next 4 weeks we would dance together in class and then stay behind drinking and talking break ups after the others had left, however it be another year before we finally became a couple!
So here is a photo of us on a beer walk when we were just friends for all those who have stuck with it this far!
Ohhhh i look forward to reading more
so the next year we remained friends, but everyone would ask me what about Mr.kat? to which I would reply he had just come out of a relationship I didn't think it was a good idea to set your sights on someone so clearly unavailable plus I wasn't ready for another relationship.
Mr.Kat was also getting the same questions, his brother even told him after meeting me at his 30th birthday he should ask me out! but no we remained friends
then everything changed, I started a new job which meant I commuted and stayed up in the lakes on a rotating shift pattern and I had a falling out with the friend who ran the social networking site, what started as a silly argument turned into him completely throwing his toys out of the pram, I wasn't to be invited out if he was going, if people did they got ignored as well! suddenly I had no one calling me up or inviting me out except Mr.Kat.
Through the entire time Mr.Kat was always there inviting me on nights out with his friends and it was on one of these nights out that we finally kissed! Now I wish I could say that was it we lived happily ever after but this was just the start of the drama, Mr.Kat's house mates took a complete dislike to me as soon as we started seeing each other, despite us having got on fine previously?! I wasn't allowed to stay at his house, they would say horrible things about me when he got home from dates and cause arguments, one even threatened to call the police if she found me in the house?!
It was all too much and eventually Mr.Kat had to move into his own flat and cut these people out of his life he ended up losing most of his friends including a girl who he had been in school with and called his sister, it was so hard for both of us but it only brought us closer together and made us realise just how much we loved each other.
A year later on our 1 year anniversary we rented and move in to our house together Again I'd like to say that was the end of the drama but there was more to come! which leads me onto the proposal!....
Cute!!!! More please
Now the proposal is possibly the most unromantic proposal ever in the history of proposals, we also have a small disagreement about when it actually took place!
So we had just moved into our house and things are finally starting to go well for us and we're happy when.....we get invited to one of Mr.Kat's Indian friends and distant relatives wedding. The invite is addressed to the both of us but Mr.Kats parents tell him not to bring me as it will bring shame upon the family, Mr.Kat agrees his 1st mistake! his 2nd he lies to me about it!
When I found out I was extremely hurt and upset we argued and argued to the point where I wasn't sure I could stay in the relationship any longer!
4 months later our relationship was getting back to normal but I was still upset we'd booked to go to Greece and while away another argument started?! however this time it was different as while we were arguing Mr.Kat shouts back at me "I've picked out a ring!"
Que me stood speechless and opened mouthed! with the shouting stopped we sit down and talk and Mr.Kat asks if I would like to be his wife, I say yes - some tears etc, and in my mind we're engaged I just don't have a ring so I can tell people yet! in Mr.Kats mind - there's no ring and he didn't get down on one knee so he just kinda checked I'd say yes but we're not engaged?!
Back from Greece I now have to wait for the "proper proposal" with the ring! I am not very patient?! 5 weeks later its a wednesday and I am grumpy!
I am grumpy because I've been looking at wedding websites but its all pointless until I get the stupid ring (like I said patience is not one of my virtues) I am ill and the landlord wants to raise the rent by £50 quid and we've only been living in the house 6 months!
Mr.Kat gets home from work and I am grumping on the sofa, shouting at him as he comes in through the door about bloody landlords......read the letter on the table.....bloody ridiculous......bad bad mood......why can't we buy our own house......bad bad mood....
So Mr.Kat comes in and he's still got his coat on and he gets down on his knee beside me and is blabbering on about "I know we've had it tough.....good positive PMA bullshit he usually comes out with at these moments"..... I have to admit I wasn't really listening to the romantic speech so don't really remember any thing he said until he said
"with that in mind...." now this was kinda of script for the PMA speech so I start to pay attention and look at him and then he pulls something out of his pocket and opens it!
in it is the most perfect diamond ring! and that is when he asks me to marry him! with a lot of crying from me! in the middle of the living room!
Turns out he was going to ask me on the Saturday but picked up the ring and couldn't wait! so he came home and did it there and then! we celebrate with a bottle of chateauneuf du pape and spag bol out the freezer! so romantic!
On the Saturday he took me on a lovely date, Odd Bar - the bar we met, Room - The first restaurant we went to and alchemist - the bar we went to on our first date x
One of us on the beach in the rain
Aww I love this story, it's so real and it's lovely that you found each other and have got through the hard times that have been. Looking forward to hear about an Indian/Welsh wedding, hopefully not too much more drama...
Now I've never been a girl who wanted the big white wedding, I've always thought it horrendously wasteful to spend so much money on just one day! and always joked if I ever got married it would be in a white bikini on a tropical beach!
So the first thing I started to look into was destination weddings in Thailand or the philippines, but the more i looked into it the more it just didn't feel like us. I had a romantic notion of travelling around some tropical paradise stopping at a luxury hotel for a few days getting married and then continuing on our travels.......the reality spend a day or more running around Bangkok or manila getting things signed stamped and translated and legally getting married in some sweaty office in Bangkok with a ceremony for show on the beach with god knows who watching?!
We discussed the options and decided that this country it had to be, Mr.Kat was pretty certain that his parents would like some kind of religious thing on his part and we felt that for our family going forward we wanted a fusion of both cultures 50/50 welsh/Indian.
I did a lot of Internet research as finding a venue which could host 2 ceremonies was going to be a big ask! ideally we wanted 2 rooms so that each ceremony would have a different feel
first we looked at venues up north but I found that just looking online they were either too expensive, too small or just didn't really feel meaningful.
We then looked at venues where we could have exclusive use for the whole weekend as most guests would have to travel and we liked the idea of a relaxed party weekend.
This was our favourite exclusive use venue, we booked an appointment to view it on our was home for my grans funeral, but my boss wouldn't let me leave 2 hours early on the Wednesday so that we could make the appointment so we never got to see it.
The Sunday before we got engaged my grandmother died suddenly, lucky we were in Swansea clearing out my house which I was in the process of selling so we were able to go up and see all my relatives. (unknown to me Mr.Kat had actually told my mum he was planning on proposing and asked if he should postpone, they said no go ahead anyway)
so it happened that a week later we were back in Swansea for the funeral and with a few days spare, so we decided to visit some venues.
The first was
Ocean view windmill in llanrhidian
We loved it and the owner was lovely it was a complete blank canvas that we could add our own touches to and had a beautiful view, unfortunately they had no dates left in 2013!
The venue on our list was
I didn't like the feel and it didn't have the view that ocean view windmill had, but it did have accommodation on site that would sleep all our guests travelling from up north.
The Oxwich Bay Hotel
The final venue on our list was the oxwich bay hotel, I grew up in Swansea and so had been to the oxwich bay for other peoples weddings, this was by far my favourite venue but Mr.Kat was not so sure.
As we pulled up Mr.Kat was amazed, as we sat in the bar area next to the log burner, Mr.Kat was getting more and more excited, this is really nice! We both thought This is going to be really expensive!
Phil the wedding co-ordinator met us and gave us a brochure - Mr.Kat looked at me as he went through the prices, IT WAS THE CHEAPEST!!!! That sealed the deal! we asked for available dates only 1 Saturday left in 2013 October 19th, we booked it there and then!
So 1 week after getting engaged we had a date and a venue!
The pictures have come out really small?! but if you click on them you can see them properly!
Thanks the nice posts ladies! sorry about the long intro! we're into the planning now! I promise to be pic heavy!
Really enjoying your thread gemkat! Lovely how you've come through the hard times and are where you are now. Looking forward to lots more!
After the venues kept saying we were leaving booking a little late we started to worry! We thought with 14 months to plan we were being very organised and had loads of time!
I created a pinterest account and hit the Internet! googling Indian weddings/ multicultural weddings/ mixed English Hindu weddings I read anything and everything until I was sure what I liked and what I didn't all the while consulting Mr.Kat, who unlike most grooms is very opinionated about what he likes and doesn't! fortunately we have very similar tastes!
So Ideally I would have loved a pastel, floral, vintage day and still read everyone else's planning threads with envy! but I quickly realised that vintage did not go with Bollywood! so I set about coming up with a tasteful colourful Indian theme, with less is more mantra.
Here are a few inspiration pictures
While I was googling mixed marriages I came across a mixed wedding on rock and roll bride, the post was for a Hindu ceremony in the north west it linked to the photographer's website Katy Lunsford.
I looked at all the pictures on her website and blog and fell in love! no one was really in the running once I'd seen her photographs, Mr.Kat made me check some others out but after much persuasion from me and a meeting we decided to go ahead and book
This is one thing that we decided to up the budget for as it was so important to us! We hope it will be money well spent in years to come
A few pictures from katy
I wasn't really sure about having any bridesmaids at first after all the drama that had gone on before, we'd lost even more "friends" after we got engaged people who we had supported though tough times but couldn't even put a like on our announcement on facebook!
However Mr.Kat persuaded me to ask 2 of our close friends and I am really glad I did! they have been amazing organising an amazing hen night for me and are the most excited people ever! sometimes we think they are more excited than us!
I first asked Laura, I've known her for a few years now, we met through climbing when she had just moved to Manchester and have been climbing/ walking together ever since! we are possibly the worst climbing duo ever as we spend more time chatting than climbing!
The second I asked is Vicki, again I've known her for a few years we met on the same social network as I met Mr.Kat through and she is a mutual friend of us both, she has stuck by us which means a lot to both of us and is so excited about the wedding! and babies and generally everything bless her!
I won't put any pictures up as I don't like to randomly put pictures of others without their permission.
I am also having a flower girl, Mr.Kat's niece Priya
Mr.Kat only really had 2 choices for his best men, he is having his two brothers.
Chak is his older brother and Venu is his younger brother, we decided not to have any speeches so they get out of that!
Mother of the Bride
I'll put my mum in here as she picked her outfit out within about a month of us getting engaged!
This kind of freaked me out as I hadn't even decided what I was wearing yet!
She is having two outfits on the day the traditional MOB outfit which is cream, and then a Sari for the Hindu ceremony which is a deep purple with a kind of gold shimmer to the fabric, I'll see if I can dig out some pictures of both.
In November we travelled to india,I had never been before so was really excited Mr.Kat's family is from South India so he ha never been to the North.
We travelled to Mumbai, Jaipur, Delhi and Varinasi, I have to admit although it is a really beautiul country I really struggled to like it there! I was repeatedly groped in the street and we spent my 30th birthday ill with amebic disentry?!
I've now told Mr.Kat that we won't be going back for a good few years and definitly not while we have young children! we've not broken the news to his parents yet who keep asking when we're going again!
While we were in india we did manage to do some good wedding shopping!
table number holders
Family Saris for my mum, gran and aunties and step mum
Here are some pictures from india
dehli at night with lights up for diwali
Prayers in varanasi
wedding sari and lengha
Us in the Taj Mahal Palace in Mumbai, last two days of luxury I highly recommend you stay there if you ever so to mumbai!
So while in India we went on a crazy hunt for brass bowls for our centerpieces!
We needed 10 to be on the safe side so it was a struggle to find a shop who could provide enough in the few days we were there! evetually we found a shop in varanasi!
We hadn't really thought about how we would get them home?! luckly I'd bought a large foldable hold all to put our back packs in when flying to stop damage/ theft, I ended up emptying my clothes out of my rucksack and carrying on 6 brass bowls, seercurity were exteremly intrested in why I had 6 of them in my hand luggage! When I said for our wedding them looked at me like I was crazy!
When we were in dehli I kept seeing these little carved wooden elephants in all the shops I decided that it would be a nice idea to have them as table number holders!
Although I am now parinoid people will steal them! we're going to give all the important people who are part of our day a bowl and elephant as a gift after the wedding and keep one ourselves.
Heres a photo of them both!
I decided early on that I wanted to have my bridesmaids in saris, we bought these in india.
A sari for those that don't know are a 6ft or 9ft piece of fabric which is then wrapped and draped around the body, you then have a small cropped top or jacket.
I decided on a cerise pink colour for the sari with silver jewelled pattern, initally I really wanted then both to match but we couldn't find any even close to the same, so we abandoned that idea and went for mismatched but pink.
One sari is a bright cerise that fades into a pale pink and the other is a pale pink so they match each other in a miss matchy kind of way!
Here is one of the girls in her sari
Here is the 2nd bridemaid Sari
I told both the girls they could have their hair however they wanted, they have both decided to have their hair the same, a plait across the back of the head into a twist with the rest loose, like in the pictures below
Both the girls will have strappy silver shoes again I told them they could pick what they wanted with a budget of £30ish
Vicki had these from Debenhams with a discount in the sale they were £24
After much searching as Laura is a size 8-9! 3 Pairs and some returns postage later we settled on these as they were the only ones that fit! These came in at £18 + postage from Amazon!
Thanks Rubycupcakes! I am loving yours too!
I didn't realise it would be so absorbing! I've lost hours! x
Mr.Kat will be wearing a gray 3 piece suit which I'll come on to later (as he still has'nt bought it?!)
The Groomsmen and the dads are being asked to wear a gray suit if they have one or whatever they do have, we have then bought them ties.
Mr.Kat and his brothers will wear Cerise Pink skinny ties
The Dads have Yellow fat ties
and the Groomsmen will have Orange skinny ties
We bought them all from from debenhams with another 10% discount we got 13 ties for £90.
We're not really having a lot of flowers at neither of us are really fussed about them so the florist will provide.
Gerbera Flower heads for the centerpieces which are costing us £1 per head
Gerbera Button holes for the boys coming in at £60 for
3 Cerise Pink
The bridesmaides will also have hand tied Gerbera bouquets like these which are £30 each
I will have a hand tied bouquet similar to this, but with different flowers, I am going more for the shape and style. Mine comes in at £80
Loving this! The Taj Palace is amazing, you are right - I love Mumbai. I haven't been to Varanasi yet but it isn't too far from thed border with Nepal which is where my H2B and I move the day after our wedding (as you do...) I love your sari. Are you having mendhi? x
Ooo Gemkat excited to see you have a thread! Looking lovely - and I LOVE your elephants especially!
Haven't seen you around for a while! Have I just not been looking hard enough?! xxx
Thank you ladies!
FairyBride1 - yes I am having Mendhi! I will come on to that in a bit! We've done far more than I realised!
Dr. Bridezilla, I started a new work contract a few weeks ago which is a site based project, it as seriously curbed my YAYW addiction?! off sick the last 2 days so making the most of it!
I thought I would start off today with an introduction to our fur baby Rosie!
We got her 3 weeks ago and she is the cutest dog ever! she is a cocker spaniel 1/2 working 1/2 show so shes full of energy!
My H2B is half Welsh half Kashmiri, a great mix!!