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Our Country House Wedding....

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  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    RANT

    Had our first official meeting with the wedding coordinator at our venue on Thursday. All went well to begin with and it was great to be back there. As our meeting went on, changes had happened which we wasn't told about in the first place.......

    ACCOMMODATION

    I was originally booked into the little cottage on the grounds of the estate and booked a wedding car as she advised as it is a 10 minute walk to the main house. She announced that I would now be moved into the main house into one of their master suites with an adjoining dressing room to get ready in and this would also be our wedding night room. This room i might add is £200 more than what I was going to pay for the cottage. I am planning on staying at the venue the night before. When I asked her why it wasn't mentioned before she said that she had told me.....she didn't. So now I have to cancel my booked wedding car and lose the deposit which I have already paid plus find an extra £200 for the room. I've attached a picture of the room below.

    image

    GUEST NUMBERS

    Next we talked numbers. Our package allows us 60 day guests and upto 120 total for the evening with additional guests at £95 per person and children £25 per person. We're currently at 70 guests but havent sent out invites etc yet. She knew that this was a provisional list and will most likely change. All of a sudden she had changed our minimum numbers to 70 which we didn't agree to and sent us an invoice with the added extra guests! It's all been corrected now because I told her that's not what we signed for when signing our contract and any additional guests will be decided once all RSVPs are back in the middle of next year.

    CEREMONY

    Next came the ceremony. She knew we had booked a harpist for the ceremony and drinks reception but has now told us that the room isn't big enough for her so therefore we cannot have her there as there is now nowhere else for her to play. This means losing another deposit which I am fuming about! The harpist was a recommended supplier at the venue.

    Our next meeting is in March which will be the '6 months' before the wedding meeting so hoping nothing else happens or changes before then.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Why have all these changes happened? If youve booked and signed a contract that lists particular things then you can surely argue your case?

    Why cant you stay in the cottage? And if its their fault why are you being charged more? Really if you booked the cottage and for whatever reason they suddenly cant accomodate it then they should be moving you to the house for the same price as youd booked, or even free of charge as a courtesy.

    Im not surprised youre annoyed!

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    MrsJ2017 wrote (see post):

    Why have all these changes happened? If youve booked and signed a contract that lists particular things then you can surely argue your case?

    Why cant you stay in the cottage? And if its their fault why are you being charged more? Really if you booked the cottage and for whatever reason they suddenly cant accomodate it then they should be moving you to the house for the same price as youd booked, or even free of charge as a courtesy.

    Im not surprised youre annoyed!

    They reserve it for families to stay during holidays etc apparently, again I only found that out on Thursday. They tried to charge my MOH more money that what they charged me to hire the other room in the cottage (it has 2 apartments contained within). They just want more money I think. They've cancelled the cottage booking and booked me into the master suite and won't change it. I don't know how the changing in numbers happened. All I asked her was what was the max numbers in the ceremony room should we go over. That obviously meant change our minimum agreed numbers. The deposits totalled £165 which I could have put onto something else but what's done is done I guess ๐Ÿ˜”

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    UPDATE

    Just a general update really as not much has been happening in the world of wedding planning at the moment.

    New bridesmaids dresses are having to be sought out and brought as I have major concerns that my girls are too busty for their dresses. I should be able to take in the smallest one for my eldest daughter to wear and the other one I can keep and use so won't go to waste really. I've found a lovely dress in Maids to Measure which luckily both of them like so I am trying to pin them down to a day when we can go to the shop and try them on. They're currently £135 down from £225 so want to get them whilst they're in stock. 

    imageimage Isla 'floaty' dress ๐Ÿ˜

    Updated the budget spreadsheet and it made my eyes water. Had to budget more than intended for venue styling because the look I want to achieve doesn't come cheap unfortunately but managed to cut the flower bill so wasn't too bad. Hopefully 80% of the wedding will be paid off by the end of the year and I've taken on loads more extra shifts at work to make sure that there is extra money should anything crop up. The wedding should be paid off fully by the end of April.

    Were still over allocated numbers by 7 provisionally so desperately trying to see who we can cut because I really don't want to be paying £95 extra per person over if we can avoid it.

    I managed to get the matching straps for my dress from a lady on eBay who was selling the same dress as mine for £25 after being quoted £150 from the bridal shop. They are brand new which I am pleased about :) 

    In other non wedding related news, I passed the first year of my Masters in Midwifery and start my second year in October.

     

     

  • ruthie1979ruthie1979 Posts: 794

    Oh the bridesmaid dresses are beautiful and that's a great discount!

    Congratulations on passing your first year of your masters!! Happy days xxx

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES PART 2.

    So the bridesmaids dresses are sorted and they fit perfect. My MOH has one from Maids to Measure and my other bridesmaids dress is also a Maids to Measure dress but I got it brand new from eBay instead for £40 rather than paying £135 so I am very happy that's it's all sorted and they're happy with their choices.

    Surprisingly, my MOH was very well behaved and easily pleased when we went to the shop. She can be very fussy and difficult and make it all about her which can be annoying at times but she finally gets that it's my day and not hers.

    The dresses need taking up a lot (about 6-8 inches) but we will be sorting that out next summer once we have shoes.

    Only person left now is my eldest daughter to sort out next year too.

    image Stephanie my bridesmaid will be wearing the 'Charlotte' in just peachy

    image Sallie my MOH will be wearing the 'Isla' in just peachy

     

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Your bridesmaid dresses are lovely, and your ebay one especially a bargain! Sorry to hear you are having problems with your venue, Cancelling your booking in the cottage and charging you more to stay in the house really doesn't sound right? I would raise this again and not pay the extra? Also maybe take the opportunity to email listing all the arrangements and prices/numbers that have already been agreed and get them to confirm in writing this is correct to avoid any further problems going forward?

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    MrsS85 wrote (see post):

    Your bridesmaid dresses are lovely, and your ebay one especially a bargain! Sorry to hear you are having problems with your venue, Cancelling your booking in the cottage and charging you more to stay in the house really doesn't sound right? I would raise this again and not pay the extra? Also maybe take the opportunity to email listing all the arrangements and prices/numbers that have already been agreed and get them to confirm in writing this is correct to avoid any further problems going forward?

    The numbers etc have gone back to the original numbers agreed in our contract. The room however I am stuck with as the coordinator has put a note on the booking to say that the room is not to be cancelled under any circumstances so I am stuck with it. 

  • Hannah343Hannah343 Posts: 244 New bride

    Congrats on passing your first year.

    The bridesmaid dresses are absolutely beautiful :)

  • PottyPotty Posts: 512 New bride

    Love your bridesmaid dresses!!! 

    Married September 2018, Baby due October 2019.  
  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    MrsSpag2B wrote (see post):

    Love your bridesmaid dresses!!! 

    Aww thank you. I much prefer them to the other ones I brought originally. Just need to sort out shoes now.......

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    BRIDAL JACKET & DIET

    Finally decided on the jacket I am having with my dress and I am being measured for it on Sunday when I go back to the shop for a full try in the sample with the sample jacket. 

    Its a 3/4 length sleeve lace jacket with crystal buttons on the back and has the same beading and detailing as my dress. 

    image

    Decided to now get focused with the diet as I have buried my head in the sand for too long and I need to now do something about it. The dress I was planning on wearing to H2B sisters wedding next month no longer does up which was the push that I needed. 2-3 stone in 6-8 months is the aim which I think is very doable ๐Ÿ˜

  • That jacket is lovely! I know everyone has their own ways of losing weight but myfitnesspal really worked for me as well as going on long walks! I have a Fitbit and try to keep increasing my daily step count. Good luck!

  • DandelionBlueDandelionBlue Posts: 1,239 New bride

    Just caught up on your whole thread. Love the pastel pink theme. You are making me want to increase my budget.

    I cannot wait to see your dress. The bridesmaid dresses are absolutely gorgeous. 

    The blue lace shoes will be your shoes right? I love them. Where did you find them?

    I have joined slimming world too (about a month ago). I lost a stone at this point but am hoping to lose another 3 1/2 by September 2018

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    DandelionBlue wrote (see post):

    Just caught up on your whole thread. Love the pastel pink theme. You are making me want to increase my budget.

    I cannot wait to see your dress. The bridesmaid dresses are absolutely gorgeous. 

    The blue lace shoes will be your shoes right? I love them. Where did you find them?

    I have joined slimming world too (about a month ago). I lost a stone at this point but am hoping to lose another 3 1/2 by September 2018

    The actual theme is 'romance, pastel pinks, peach and Lilac with butterflies' but it is very much pastel pink at the moment lol. 

    I am really looking forward to trying on the sample dress again with the jacket and belt and this time I will take pictures lol.

    The bridesmaids dresses are from Maids to Measure and are in a peach shade. I absolutely love them :)

    The shoes are from Debenhams. They're called Danielle. They do them in Ivory too but I fancied the navy for my something blue. I do have a pair of Benjamin Adams shoes too which I am trying to break in but oh so painful!

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 837 New bride

    I've just binge-read this whole thread! Loving everything, the lace jacket is so elegant and those bridesmaids dresses are gorgeous! Sorry to hear you've had venue stress though. X

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    FutureMrsT123 wrote (see post):

    I've just binge-read this whole thread! Loving everything, the lace jacket is so elegant and those bridesmaids dresses are gorgeous! Sorry to hear you've had venue stress though. X

    The venue stress isn't over. I've spent the last week crying and not sleeping because of it. Making an appointment to meet with our coordinator within the next 2 weeks to try and resolve things. 

    I love the jacket and bridesmaids dresses too :)

    How are your plans going? Xx

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    Not much has happened in terms of planning really. I've just been updatlng the budget sheet and other spreadsheets.

    I have spent the last 2 weeks crying and stressing over the venue as they have now added more charges which has left us in danger of not being able to afford our wedding. I have an appointment to meet with the coordinator on Tuesday with my MOH to finally sort things out. They are in breach of contract so we want to know what they're going to do about it. I'll update on Tuesday after the meeting.

    We then had a panic over our photographer. She announced she is moving back home to Swindon from Hampshire and I was worried she wouldn't honour our booking. I emailed and text her but had no reply. Andrew rang her last week and thankfully she is still doing our wedding even if it means travelling 4 hours to get to the venue and 4 hours back again.

    I also want to ask my other best friend to be my bridesmaid but I think I have left it too late in terms of getting her a dress and gifts the same as everyone else in my bridal party. 

    Things just aren't going my way wedding wise at the moment ๐Ÿ˜”

  • Oh poor you! Sounds like you need a good cup of tea/glass of wine! That's good though that your photographer is honouring your booking. And I would just ask the friend anyway if she's really close and you'd like her involved. But would it be really difficult to find a dress? It sounds like it would bring some much needed wedding excitement for you at the moment too! 

     

    Also, didnt realise you replied to mine before! Haha my plannings going ok thanks, 11 months to go so I feel it's the calm before the storm, not much to do but I know it'll be busy soon! X

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    FutureMrsT123 wrote (see post):

    Oh poor you! Sounds like you need a good cup of tea/glass of wine! That's good though that your photographer is honouring your booking. And I would just ask the friend anyway if she's really close and you'd like her involved. But would it be really difficult to find a dress? It sounds like it would bring some much needed wedding excitement for you at the moment too! 

     

    Also, didnt realise you replied to mine before! Haha my plannings going ok thanks, 11 months to go so I feel it's the calm before the storm, not much to do but I know it'll be busy soon! X

     

    We have 420 days to go! We can book our appointment to give notice now but Andrew wants to wait until January ๐Ÿ˜ก just want the last major thing sorted.

    I think i will ask her, it's just I am worried that I won't be able to get her the same clutch etc as my MOH and bridesmaid as they were in the sale. The dress I don't think i'd have any trouble getting except they're still in the sale and it would mean her watching her weight for the next year to avoid having it altered if I bought it now. She was my bridesmaid for my first wedding and she needed a new dress 4 days before because she gained weight and it no longer fitted.

    I just want something good wedding wise to happen now because right now I really am not excited.....

  • Oooh we need to give notice too, I keep forgetting! Ha 

    I think asking your friend is a good idea, it sounds like you really want to, and as you said it will bring some thing positive wedding-wise! I reckon the issue of the clutch can be sorted, if the dress will be fine then that's the biggest thing to sort :) Maybe you and your girls can have a girly evening just to take your mind off things. I'm sure you'll feel excited again soon but it sucks you've got so much to contend with. X

  • I've just caught up.  Sorry to hear about all the stress you're having.  Definitely asked your friend, I've known other brides do this at much shorter notice.  I hope the venue stop messing you around and that's great news that the photographer is still honouring the booking x

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    MrsAtoBe2017 wrote (see post):

    I've just caught up.  Sorry to hear about all the stress you're having.  Definitely asked your friend, I've known other brides do this at much shorter notice.  I hope the venue stop messing you around and that's great news that the photographer is still honouring the booking x

    Ah so nice to have another reader. I don't get many comments so sometimes feel like I am talking to myself. We have a meeting tomorrow with the venue so hopefully I can go back to enjoying planning the wedding now rather than crying and eating crap! I am definitely going to ask my friend, just trying to find the right time.

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    ANOTHER BRIDESMAID

    So after thinking long and hard I decided to ask my other best friend to be a bridesmaid. She said yes! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ My bridal party now stands at 7! 3x bridesmaids, MOH and 3x flower girls. 

    The addition will add another £350 for everything but as I am paying for the additional myself I don't care. I'm so happy.

    Now I need to order her the same gifts as my other girls but will get on that next payday......

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride

    VENUE UPDATE & JO MALONE EXPERIENCE

    Yesterday saw our meeting at the venue to discuss some issues. The main one being that they have been charging our guests more for their rooms when they have booked over the phone and not honouring the cheaper online prices and then saying that we was going to be responsible to pay for any double bookings. They didn't give our guests the option of booking online and insisted that all bookings went through our coordinator. They were also adding on unidentified charges to our account and also releasing reserved rooms ahead of the agreed 8 weeks before the wedding dealine which went against our contract. It's all been resolved except for the releasing of rooms issue. We're not going to pursue it further as we don't want to start anything which could cause them to cancel our wedding and return our money.

    JO MALONE

    As today is my birthday I booked in for the 'Scent my Wedding' experience. It was absolutely amazing! Even Andrew found his scent and we both loved the Prosecco and massages and we got a few samples to take away too with no pressure to buy.

    So my scent was: Elderflower & Gooseberry layered over the Nectarine Blossom and Honey wash and body creme. 

    Andrew chose Oud & Bergamot intense cologne and body creme layered over the Lime, Basil & Mandarin wash. We both smell amazing hours later.....

  • I wouldn't worry about not getting many comments, I haven't on mine either but I think so many people read and not comment, I'm guilty of that but sometimes I just don't have time but I absolutely love reading everyone's planning threads. 

    All your plans sound lovely, I think I've found someone more organised than me

    Whereabouts do you live?  I am quite local to you, I know Guildford really well as used to work there, I now work in Godalming and live near Petersfield which is about half hour from Guildford along the A3.

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Don't worry about lack of comments, so many people get a lot of enjoyment from reading all the posts on here, I know myself if someone has already commented with similar thoughts to my own I don't bother posting as it may see repetitive.

    Glad you are feeling happier with the Venue, its great you have so much paid off, but I would consider holding the rest in a separate account instead of handing it straight over to the various suppliers just incase you run into any problems with them.

    MMmm Love Jo Malone, you sents sound beautiful what a nice thing to do together on your birthday.

     

  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,475 New bride

    Totally agree on the comments-  I think we all tend to read but not necessarily comment.  I often wonder if I am writing to myself :-)  Glad it went well with the venue.  And Jo Malone- I am definitely doing that before our wedding

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    Kelly224 wrote (see post):

    I wouldn't worry about not getting many comments, I haven't on mine either but I think so many people read and not comment, I'm guilty of that but sometimes I just don't have time but I absolutely love reading everyone's planning threads. 

    All your plans sound lovely, I think I've found someone more organised than me

    Whereabouts do you live?  I am quite local to you, I know Guildford really well as used to work there, I now work in Godalming and live near Petersfield which is about half hour from Guildford along the A3.

    Hi. We live in London, right by Camden market. Guildford is going to be our second home for the next year as we will be there so much over the next 9 months or so. 

    I have to be organised, I've never been a last minute person. I prefer to book everything, do spreadsheets then start paying them off. I even have all my meetings booked in for the next year :)

    How far are you with your plans?

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,356 New bride
    MrsS85 wrote (see post):

    Don't worry about lack of comments, so many people get a lot of enjoyment from reading all the posts on here, I know myself if someone has already commented with similar thoughts to my own I don't bother posting as it may see repetitive.

    Glad you are feeling happier with the Venue, its great you have so much paid off, but I would consider holding the rest in a separate account instead of handing it straight over to the various suppliers just incase you run into any problems with them.

    MMmm Love Jo Malone, you sents sound beautiful what a nice thing to do together on your birthday.

     

    I won't be paying off anything else now. Just going to keep it all in the savings pot until next year. I'm just trying to focus on my dress and losing weight which isn't really happening right now but I've promised myself tomorrow it starts and I will do it! 

    Andrew was a bit skeptic all at first he thought it was more for us girls to enjoy but he loved it. Even 8 hours later the scents are still as strong as they were when they were applied. He has my list lol.

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