A wedding to plan at last -2019

Introduction

 

What can I say.. I am so excited to be able to say I am finally able to start planning a wedding. 

My self and my other half A have been together nearly 11 1/2 years and have 3 children

 Like most women in a long term relationship I have had fleeting thoughts about marriage and watched countless episodes of say yes to the dress and feeling envious of people getting married after a year or so together. We have discussed it every now and then throughout our relationship and it kind of always ended up like we would do it one day but it was has never been a big thing for him and therefore not really important so I had put it to the back of my mind and something that may or may not happen. 

My best friend and I however have spent so much time sending each other messages of dream rings, weddings etc in the hope that one day we would be in that position. I even had a psychic reading 18 months ago who was spot on about so many things and she had said if I don't put pressure on him he will do it in 18 months... I had got my hopes up on many happy occasions and its obviously never happened..until now.

 

<strong style="text-decoration: underline;">The proposal

It was my 30th birthday in January this year and we had booked to go to Paris for a couple of nights without the children. In the back of my mind I thought if he doesn't propose to me on my 30th in Paris then obviously its not going to happen. A couple of days before we went away I was having a chat with my mum about this and she said look don't get your hopes up, you know its not going to happen and don't let it ruin your holiday...So with that (I thought if there was something brewing my mum might give me a hint) I put it in the back of my mind and we went off to Paris. The night before my birthday we stayed at disneyland and woke up in the hotel on my 30th birthday to spend the day at the Parks before transferring to our central Paris hotel that evening. A gave me my presents and a card address to my beautiful girlfriend .. with that I knew it wouldn't happen so I text my best friend saying..FFS the card said girlfriend obviously not happening..oh well off to enjoy Paris. After that It slipped my mind and we had a great day enjoying the parks and then got travelled to our next hotel. The hotel was beautiful just behind Arc de Triomphe . As a surprise for my 30th The hotel upgraded our room to a top floor suite with a Balcony with views of the Eiffel Tower it was beautiful, they even wrote me a birthday card and left a cake and fresh macaroons for us. We excitedly checked out the balconys and views and I was looking at the one from our bathroom and A was on the one in our bedroom. I went out to join him. I turned to look at him and he was there holding the most beautiful ring and asked me to marry him. I started crying and asked him if he was serious , it couldn't have been more perfect and even more so because I really didn't think it was going to happen.  I phoned my mum who had our children and she burst out in tears and said she had been waiting all day for the phone call as obviously had known it was going to happen but he didn't propose until about 5pm french time.  I then called my best friend and she started crying and said about the card and i turned around and he gave me a card addressed to my fiancé on it. He knows me better than I know my self and was still able to surprise me and throw me off track. The hotel sent up champagne and treats and after we came back from dinner they had put rose petals on the bed. 

 

We waited till we got home to tell our children face to face, my 8 year old daughter who is as equally as obsessed with say yes to the dress as I am squealed and said when are we going dress shopping.By this point I had basically pintrested my dream wedding and was raring t

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Posts

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

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  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

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  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Initial plans


    I had initial chats with my mum and about what we would like from a venue and I knew it would need to be a different or simple. I had always thought about wanting to go abroad to do it but that seemed to disappear out of my mind when it was actually a possibility. 

    I liked the thoughts of an old warehouse or something we could decorate but being on the South coast there is not much about down here like that and we wouldn't want to travel to his home town London as would make it more hassle.  I knew we wouldn't want a hotel and my mum mentioned a place that she had heard of and for me to check it out.. I had a look and it was lovely and requested a brochure just to look at it and see what they could offer. As we were not officially planning anything I couldn't do anything with said brochure other than add to my pin board 

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    A perfect date


    It's now been 6 months nearly since we got engaged and I was just thinking about what my perfect wedding date would be, I thought about combining our children birthday to make a date 16-08-19. To me this was perfect so I randomly text A at work and said what do you think about getting married on this date and said about the kids birthdays, it was a good two years away to enable us to save but it would be a nice date. He text me back and said that would be a great idea and that he loved it..

    1..Does this mean we can start planning?

    2.. Calm down don't go crazy but can we start planning? lol 

     This was good news as from reading on here two years seems to be a good time frame and goes quite quickly by the time you are planning and attempting to save. 

     

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    First thoughts

    So I still had the venue in my head that my mum had mentioned.. every time I looked at photos I feel more in love and thought how us it was..its a simple place with an orangey and its hired out on exclusive use with 10 aces of gardens and a marquee. I emailed and asked for a price list and she was most helpful and sent it through.. Within it it said about food options and Ive never been one to have a sit down formal meal as thats not us and when I read they do bbq and hog roast it sold it that bit more. In the details they said they do a midweek package deal which would cover everything we would want.. it was becoming more perfect by the hour.

    I showed A the pictures and asked him what he thought and he said it seems much better and he likes the fact it seems chilled out. He asked if there was any other options and I said this was the first one that caught my eye.  A is very very very laid back and I normally organise and plan everything,I asked him if he had an ideas and he said no and was happy for me to crack on so to speak and if he didn't like anything then he would let me know.. Please tell me that most men are not interested in all the ins and outs of wedding detail so I know for future reference lol

    We agreed to call and make an appointment to view which we have got for this upcoming week.. and here I am now back on pintrest and have binge read a few planning diaries on her so I thought id give my own one a go and see what happens.. 

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Guidance..


    I would love to hear from fellow 2019 brides to be 

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Love the proposal. Your engagement ring is beautiful. I got got engaged March 2016 and I'm getting married March 2018. I would say get your guest list together this really does help when looking at venues. (Our initial guest list was 50 for the day and is now 67). 

    I do have my moments where I think OMG, why am I making my invitations/decorating jam jars etc but overall I'm loving every minute. 

    It's never too early to plan though! (You never know what life will throw at you!)

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Thank you for you comment, thats a really good tip, i don't think it will be a big wedding just close family and friends and I imagine there will be a lot of children there as well as hoping for a laid back family day out feel.  

    Going by pintrest I've already got some ideas for DIY projects but I'm not the most creative so I'm hoping with the help of A and my mum we will get them right lol ..

    Im going to enjoy the planning stages..ive just heard back from another venue which looks lovely but you have to arrange it all your self where as the one we are viewing can have it all as a package which sounds so much easier. xx

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    We looked at a venue where we had to organise everything from catering companies, chairs, cutlery, Everything. 

    When we started pricing it up it was going to cost a fortune. We decided against it. 

    I learnt everything via You Tube or blogs. 

  • Emma151218Emma151218 Posts: 19

    my fiance has really got little interest past suits and cars! So you're not alone, if they dislike something theyll say!

    thats a great time frame for planning, we got engaged in dec 2016 and wedding is Dec 2018!

  • Hannah343Hannah343 Posts: 185 New bride

    What a lovely proposal and it was lovely that he was still able to throw you off the scent and surprise you

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Exactly FutureMrsThomas, it looks lovely and would mean more planning but then probably more stress and money. I just can't wait to view the venue, I keep going and looking at pictures online of it? is that normal lol

     

    Thank you Emma, glad I'm not the only one, he's so load back in every day life as well but I know he will tell me if he doesn't like something so I'm hoping after the viewing that he likes that and we can get the ball rolling.

     

    Thank you Hannah, yes he really did pull it off ;-)

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Inspirations


    For a theme I am thinking of Navy and Grey, as we both love grey , most of our home is grey and Navy is a nice strong colour against it. We love industrial/urban style so thinking of involving slate in to it as well. 

    Just tried to put pictures from my board on to here?anyone able to tell me how as I can't right click to save images? 

     

    Thank you x

     

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Deciding on a venue isn't easy. We approached it by looking at every venue in a 30 minute radius of my house. From there we narrowed it down on price, and certain factors which were important to us. After that we booked to see three. 

    H2b will happily help me look for things when I need to go searching for that perfect ribbon/card etc but in terms of wedmin he doesn't have a clue. I keep the spreadsheets and to do list up to date. 

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 987 New bride

    Yay new planning thread! (I love reading them!) 

    The proposal sounds amazing! And the idea about combining your kids birthdays is just brilliant! 

    As for your h2b not being too fussed when it comes to planning, mine is the exact same! 

    I know what you mean about people saying 2 years is a good time for planning / saving. we've got 14 months left (we're getting married in November 2018 - but we've been engaged for 6 years! haha) 

  • Had to comment as am another 2019 bride here :) your propsal sounds so lovely!! We have booked our venue photographer and musicians but probs going to leave the rest till a bit later. Like you say 2 years is a good time to save up for everything. X

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Laura 349, Ive only just found site but think in the past 5 days I've binge read so many planning threads they are lovely, esp the ones from the beginning leading up to the day. Im sure time will fly by and it will be NOV 18 before you know it soon as christmas passes. Bonfire night will be amazing and think of all the free fireworks.. toffee apple favours any one? lol xx

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Hi Moonshine, 

    when in 2019 are you getting married?do you have a planning thread? sounds like you have made a good start and got the key parts booked so then you can enjoy the little bits as well xx

     

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Blue Blue Blue and Grey 

     

    Heres a few pins I've saved to show the colour blue that I like..would it be too dark for a summer wedding? I am not a pink girl  and my favourite colour is green, but as a couple navy and grey is very us.

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

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  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

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  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

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  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Hi! My h2b is also not interested in weddings and wants me to plan it all, but then hell pipe up and say he doesnt like what ive planned, its getting really annoying!

    He says the decorations hes not interested in at all, but hes said that about everything so far, and then had a strong opinion at the last minute.

    Mine chose the venue though because I just cant get excited about buildings, they rank with cars on my list of priorities, so way down the bottom of the list 😂

    We originally had 13 months to plan, but postponed it and added an extra 8 months on. im really glad for the extra time, not because I couldnt plan it in a shorter time, but because I really enjoy it and dont want it to be over just yet.

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Haha typical man,  you will have to show him a selection of things you like and let him pick, that way you still get what you want 

    I know what you mean, I think we could do it sooner but we are not having any more children and this is our last big thing so want to enjoy the planning and being engaged and having something to look forward to x

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Budget.

     

    We will be saving as we go and paying bits out each month..

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Ours is 6 but doesnt include outfits and any sneaky little extras that I may be smuggling into the house, I think including those itll be about 10.

    What are you thinking for honeymoon? We have 3 kids too and I really want to go somewhere tropical just the 2 of us but h2b wants to take the kids. I think Ill miss them too much, but taking them wont be very relaxing!

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    I have everything counting on this venue as for 2019 a complete package deal with all food and drink ceremony 6 bedrooms and breakfast and exclusive use is #6600 so thats a huge chunk of the budget.. I wish I could find something cheaper but everything around here so is soon expensive its crazy  (or maybe thats just normal wedding prices )

    Its good you have a bit of a buffer but how great would it be to stay to as close to 6 as possible.

    I know its hard with children I think we will probably do a week as a family holiday and then another holiday just us 2..is this something you could do ?

    I would love to do a two week holiday for all of us somewhere special like the caribbean but i expect will will go greece/majorca etc..Cant look too far ahead as prices for 2019 are not available yet.We have done quite a few city breaks as a couple when my mum has had the children but would love to go somewhere and do water sports etc and just let our hair down. How old are your children? 

    If we stick to 2019 my eldest will be in year 7 at secondary school so will have to be school holidays and that bumps the prices up as well. xx

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I think Ive added an extra 1.5k on with my dress and transport, call it 2k by the time you add bridesmaids dresses etc, but all this is coming out of my own pocket so it doesnt really feel like it counts. H2bs suits will work out quite expensive but I dont think hes got anything else left to sort. 

    Whereabouts are you? I think that sounds reasonable if its a full package. Ours comes in at 4k but thats the absolute cheapest we could find and it doesnt include decorations but almost everything else.

    Were going to venice for a weekend the month before the wedding for my birthday, that will be the first time weve been abroad in 9 years!

    I want to go somewhere luxurious and also really want to do the watersports and activities that you just cant do with little kids. Ours will be 8, 6 and 3 by the time we think about holidays.

    Because weve never took them abroad I think well focus on a family holiday, I want to go to greece, h2b wants to go to spain so its a shorter flight. But I dont want to miss out of a proper honeymoon just because we had kids first! Even just 10 nights would be enough for long haul. Ill work on convincing him after the wedding, theres no rush, we couldnt go straight away anyway because of christmas.

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Our budget is £8K but that doesn't include our honeymoon. (FFIL is paying for our honeymoon). This is split between us and my parents. I'm very lucky my parents wanted to help out, as its taken the weight off us a little. While I think the budget is good it surprisingly doesn't go very in the world of weddings. 

    Once you mention you are planning a wedding the price jumps up by 20%. Lol. Don't be afraid to ask for discount! I managed to get 10% off my dress. Check out sales, I have spent £120 on four dresses for my flower girls, MOH and junior bridesmaid as I was able to find dresses in the sale. 

     

  • August19August19 Posts: 285 New bride

    Mrs J, venice sounds lovely, we went to Rome a couple of years ago just us and I just love italy, you will have a great time and you have chosen a good month as it won't be boiling hot.

    I can highly recommend holiday village Rhodes for a family holiday, we went a couple years back and stayed on the deluxe side and had swim up rooms, hired a car to travel round the island etc and there was soo much for the kids to do. TBH we've done holiday village in spain and majorca as well and can't fault it , yes its a bit cheesy but the kids are happy which means we get to relax and enjoy it as well. I would look to do another first choice all inclusive and 10 days would be lovely as it would make it feel that much longer and more like honey moon. I live in Bournemouth on the south coast, I'm glad the price seems okay it does include a lot for the money. x

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