My mum can have a tendency to overstep the mark a little bit, I'm just really blunt with her - "Mum, you've had your wedding(s), this is ours and we are having what WE want and what WE choose. We appreciate you are trying to help, but it's not actually helpful and you are wasting your money. Please stop, and don't buy anything else without checking first". You have to be blunt with my mum, subtlety goes straight over her head!
I really relate to this post.
Sorry you're struggling, I know how it feels to be transitioning from depression/anxiety back to feeling more level and a few outbursts are pretty normal. I also throw the "I didn't want this bloody wedding anyway, you and your mother insisted on it" line out when I'm feeling stressed and getting no help with wedding stuff! It annoys C, but it's true, I didn't.
My mum is also not that interested in wedding planning - I invited her to come to a couple of wedding fairs with me and she wasn't interested either. One of my bridesmaids prioritized taking her mum to the supermarket over coming wedding dress shopping with me. It's just disappointing when people close to you aren't excited, and make you feel like you aren't a priority or worth their time. *Big hug*.
We would also like a videographer but it just isn't in the budget, so C is finding out which one of his friends have a GoPro or similar and he's going to ask them to film the ceremony, speeches and first dance. It will be amateur and unedited but at least we'll have the footage.
I think a lot of people who haven't arranged a wedding recently don't get it. My MIL's parents pretty much arranged her wedding and my mum's been married 6 times so I think they are just old hat to her, haha!
I actually thought of you the other day, I bought a spring bouquet from Aldi for £4 (tulips, hyacinths, narcissi and small roses) and it smelt beautiful and lasted for 2 weeks, looked really lovely in just an Ikea vase too!
Thank you @MrsCToBee, you're always so kind i really appreciate it. I cant believe its 6 months to go! Did you space things out or did you find it hard to get momentum going in the beginning? I keep worrying that with 14 months to go i just need to calm down and stop trying to plan it all now.
We have spaced things out, we're lucky we have a shed and loft so we have a bit of storage and have been able to buy things as we go along. Most of the DIY I'm starting this week, didn't want to do it too soon in case we changed our minds or it got ruined, but have done some things like made labels for the favours and tied them all on, and making colouring packs for the kids etc. There have been some quite big lulls but there is always something you can be researching/planning. To be honest though, since we got engaged we have bought the house and of course I work full time and have a toddler, so spare time is at a bit of a premium for me anyway!
There was a big lull before Christmas and now it seems to be all systems go! None of my suppliers (or anyone) were much fussed until we got to 2019 and now I suddenly have dress fittings, engagement shoot & meeting with the photographer, need to sort all the DIY bits, hair and make up trials, sort an outfit for Mr C and our son, buy all the sundries for the flowers and do a practice run, hen dos, stag dos, still waiting for RSVPs then will be doing table plans, food choice spreadsheets, name cards etc! Basically it all bubbles away quietly then 6 months before it's like BAM!
God you sound like superwoman spinning so many plates at once! I think ill probably keep relaxed about it all until after the summer, but the 6 month mark for us is October, and i know Nov/Dec are a right off for anyone in my family, as everyone's dotted around we spend most of it driving to someones for some event! It feels so far away but so close at the same time! especially when i look and every weekend in Feb/March theres something, then in august theres something every weekend, and then we want to fit a little break in too, you start to think out of the 14 months theres maybe 8 or so of actual "doing" time haha.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. The worst feeling is when you feel like an outsider and feel as if you're being judged. Just remember, your plans are amazing, your FH loves you just the way you are and your wedding will be fantastic, wherever it's held xxx