What Am I Doing?! - April 2020

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  • I would just call them, you definitely can do that as ive been to weddings where they’ve said vows and then written a couple of lines of their own! 

    Glad you had a lovely break-sometimes it’s just what you need.
  • Definitely call them. I spoke to our registrar on Monday to finalise our ceremony. We're doing our own vows first then the legal ones which we picked from their website (getting married in Argyll and Bute) .
  • Thanks! Ill give them a call a little later i think, i don't want to allow myself to get too wrapped up in it again yet haha. 

    I've put together a revised mood board of flower ideas in preparation for our second flower meeting this weekend (sorry if its huge). Were going to a local flower farm, and they will grow whatever is needed that they can, to try and reduce cost. I think its nice if as much of it can be locally sourced as possible. 


    I really want to include bright tulips as a nod back to Amsterdam where we got engaged, does it look like it will work? I struggled to find photos of any that were sort of mixed in, but i don't know if they even need to be. 

    For the tables were thinking 1 milk bottle with 1-2 tulips in, a gin bottle with a few little wildflowers as above, and then a little candle in a glass jar. Its hard to picture but any advice is appreciated! 
  • MrsW2020MrsW2020 Posts: 222 New bride
    Love the flowers! So colourful and pretty and the tulips is a lovely idea. Tulips have quite long stems whereas the wildflowers might not, so perhaps you could have the tulips in the gin bottle and wildflowers in the milk bottle? I'm sure if you tell the flower farm what you're using as vases they will make sure they cut the stems to the right length either way though.
  • Not a bad idea @MrsW2020 although we were hoping to use the milk bottles for the tulips so we could hang them on the ends of the chairs for the aisle. Its easily swapped around though with no dramas! Thank you for the tip x
  • MrsW2020MrsW2020 Posts: 222 New bride
    Not a bad idea @MrsW2020 although we were hoping to use the milk bottles for the tulips so we could hang them on the ends of the chairs for the aisle. Its easily swapped around though with no dramas! Thank you for the tip x
    Oh that would look so pretty! I love that idea x
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 512 New bride
    I love the tulip idea 😍 also  I think the thing about flowers is that in the end I think most types and colours look lovely together; in nature/ gardens you see a mix of colours and types and heights and they all look beautiful and natural together.. so I say just get the ones you want/like and it'll look lovely!
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    Just seen all the flower ideas, lush!
    Tulips are gorgeous and typically are arranged with flowers like narcissi, daffodils, hyacinths, but that's just because they are all spring flowers, you can have whatever you like. I'm partial to ranunculus and if I was spring I'd definitely be trying to get them in there.
    All you need to remember about tulips is that they droop, or appear to, because they keep on growing in water - so if you are arranging them a day or 2 before you may want to cut them slightly shorter than you actually want them.
  • fab thank you @MrsCToBee, i'll have a little Pinterest sesh and add some of those in!  
  • We had a lovely chat with the florists who completely understood us and where we are coming from. They grow everything on site, but can supplement if need be with wholesalers. I love that is all home grown British flowers, it's just feels so authentic for our early spring wedding. Plus they're absolutely lovely people and got so excited when I showed them the mood board! Were just waiting on prices to come through but I'm really hoping it will be achievable. Plus they made this up for me to take home which is such an unexpected and sweet gesture ♥️ 


    I also had a stroke of luck with my shoe hunt! I couldn't resist these, they're exactly the right sort of colours I was looking for so fingers crossed they're comfy! 


  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    Flowers sound fab, in fact I saw this earlier on a florist I follow and thought of you


    Shoes are fab, I couldn't even dream of walking in those so impressed!
  • MrsW2020MrsW2020 Posts: 222 New bride
    Love the shoes! Fingers crossed for the quote from the florist as well, they sound like they really got your vision!
  • Ohh thank you  @MrsCToBee they're gorgeous! I'll add that to my little inspo board. 

    Thank you @MrsW2020 ! they have quite a lot on this week so i know i wont get anything through soon but im on tenderhooks waiting haha. Its the last big thing really so itll be a huge relief when its all done. 
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 512 New bride
    I LOVE the shoes, wow!! Very very pretty :)
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    Thank you! So i got the shoes in my usual size but they slip a bit at the heels, so i ordered a size down which make my toes feel a bit squished and i think after a few hours they'd feel a bit numb. 

    I'm going to try and wear both around the house for a bit and see, but i did even try gel inserts for the bigger ones but its just the heel that's an issue. 

    Any tips are appreciated! 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    Thank you! So i got the shoes in my usual size but they slip a bit at the heels, so i ordered a size down which make my toes feel a bit squished and i think after a few hours they'd feel a bit numb. 

    I'm going to try and wear both around the house for a bit and see, but i did even try gel inserts for the bigger ones but its just the heel that's an issue. 

    Any tips are appreciated! 
    Heel grips?
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    @MrsCToBee i have some to test but i'm reluctant to stick them in because the ones i got are basically sticky back to the shoe, so would make returning them harder. Also the shoes have this thing where inside the heel it has elastic to pull to the side together, i assume because of the material and the back forming more of a point than a smooth round back with the heel, the elastic bridges it, so it means the heel grips wouldn't stick to it over that area. 

    After a few hours of the smaller size i think ill just have to bite the bullet and give it a go though! 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    @CoffeeDogAddict doesn't help now but I always superglue heel grips on because they never stay with just the sticky back they have. Can you just wedge one in behind your foot without sticking it to see how it feels?
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    @MrsCToBee  Oh thats a good shout! Ill try wedging it in and if it works then i'll nick your trick i think! I always found they peel off half way through the night but never thought of sticking them down!
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    @MrsCToBee  Oh thats a good shout! Ill try wedging it in and if it works then i'll nick your trick i think! I always found they peel off half way through the night but never thought of sticking them down!
    I have very wide feet so often have to size up for the extra width then use heel grips so my shoes don't fall off!
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    edited May 2019
    Just realised today marks that halfway point between our engagement and our wedding! <3 
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    I think i might have to give up on the shoes. I managed to get the larger size to feel alright with 2 gel inserts and a heel grip on each, but i feel like they just have such a thin heel and where there's no support on the inside of the arch my foot turns in a bit, and although they're ok for now i feel like a few hours of wear they would start to rub here. 

    I'm gutted, they're exactly the print i love i just cant find anything else like it. I know i have ages, but my "look" is something i'm struggling to piece together and honestly i'm just having a huge crisis of confidence with it all. I don't mean to be all woe is me but its just my nature to second guess everything and i have no faith in my decisions, so i feel like my dress is wrong, my ideas are wrong, i just feel like i'm never going to have an idea of what i'm trying to pull together. 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    That's a shame @CoffeeDogAddict ...they look crippling to me but I'm not a wearer of high heels! You've still got a year and summer is coming so they'll be loads of summery print shoes around in the next few months, don't panic. Even I managed to find a pair to fit my weird extra wide feet in the end.
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    Yeah i know you're right. I'm usually pretty good with high heels to be honest so i'm not sure if i just need more practice or if i've just lost it with them haha. I used to be a stiletto every weekend kind of girl but moved onto boots the last few years so it has been a while since i wore a thin heel, but i managed fine at my friends wedding. 

    I think i'm just doing that thing of not wanting to sort what needs to be done so focusing on the insignificant details  :D
  • @CoffeeDogAddict I’m so sorry to hear about your shoes! You could totally practice and get back into them-fin you like the pattern then I saw some similar ones by Ted Baker which were lovely! I’ll see if I can find them!


  • They arent as jazzy but theyre super super cute and nice pastel colours? Plus the heel isn’t so high 😍
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    Ooh ill take a look at those thank you!! 
    I have decided to keep the pair in my regular size and just see what magic i can manage. If i cant make them work then so be it, and ill just sell them on later but i know what i'm like, if i send them back now and then cant get them again ill regret it 6 months down the line! 
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    edited May 2019
    I'm not sure if i'm just being hard work now, but i have had some more disappointing dealings with the venue and caterers. We have our tasting evening at the end of the month (the private one they arranged for us as a way of apologising for being shit previously) so i dropped the catering manager an email to ask a few questions to clarify. 9 days later and no response, and we HAVE to get our selected choices for the tasting to her by Wednesday. 1 Super Helpful point to her.... or not. 

    I sent it on to the general venue staff in the hope they could get her to respond, but they have come back to me on some of them anyway, but most of them just say the kitchen need to confirm.... which they just aren't doing. 

    Is 9 days a fair time to expect a response? I know maybe i left it a tad late to email them, but i did think a week would be alright to be honest. Shes been prompt with replying before but that may be due to our complaints at the time! 

    Its also been just over two weeks since our meeting with the florists and we haven't heard anything back. I know they've had about 4 fairs and a styled shoot so they have been really busy, but i just want a general price guideline so i can make sure it is achievable. I never know if its worth just writing them off if they don't reply, but it seems a bit harsh. 

    In a general lull at the moment. I'm trying to not over think things because i'm currently in dress doubt 12million and i'm second guessing every decision i have made so far. 

    Any tips for getting over the crushing pressure? 
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,316 New bride
    Alterations

    I now have an impromptu alterations appointment for this Saturday, which is a little terrifying. I've been having more dress wobbles (I know i'm even boring myself with it now) so i'm taking my dress over to see what they say and if some changes can be made. They said they'd rather have it in early so they can work on it at leisure which at least removes my issue of storage. 

    I feel a bit like i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't, because either way i'm going to end up spending more than i had anticipated. I originally only budgeted a couple of hundred because all it really needed was hemming and potentially taking in if i lost weight, but if i make the changes i'm thinking of it will me more like £500+  :(  Also should i be doing this with multiple people and getting quotes? I feel really awkward about them helping me out so much and then just upping and leaving to get a quote elsewhere, but also it is someone i fully trust and i'm not sure id find that elsewhere anyway (she was my textiles teacher and i grew up with her daughter, plus shes just down the road from me making life reallly easy).

    I just don't know whats best to do and i'm getting sick of feeling so doubtful of the whole thing really. I know it all comes down to feeling stupid, and that's my own mental issue i need to deal with but its just not as easy as i had thought. 

    I feel so apprehensive about trying it on again. I'm worried i really wont like it, i'm worried i'll look stupid or feel stupid, i'm worried its just all been a huge mistake and a waste of a lot of money. I've also been holding on to the idea that ill feel better and look better in it when i'm slimmer (toxic thoughts i know) and i have lost a stone since then but i cant help but worry it wont actually have made a difference at all. 

    You know what the most stupid thing is? I remember that i felt good in it, its literally the view from one angle i dislike and its more the fact i worry what other people will think, i wish i could just get over that!
  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    Oh CDA sorry to hear you are having such anxiety about this. I had major anxiety before I tried mine on again about 6 weeks before the wedding. 

    Do you have a veil or any accessories? If yes, take them with you. Play dress up for a while. Swoosh around in it and remember why you liked it (you look bloomin amazing in it, it's comfy, its in your budget etc). 

    If you come away and you still are not happy- you have time to get another one. You can still find something else that makes you feel MORE amazing, if you need to. 

    Try not to fret, I know it's hard x
    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
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