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What Am I Doing?! - April 2020

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  • image

    We've just come back from a lovely few days away with Ms family in the Lake District, and boy was it what I needed. I climbed my first mountain, we walked around lakes, and ate lots of lovely food ๐Ÿ˜

    I think it's important that this is an accurate representation of my planning process, and all the highs and lows that come with that, not just the practical bits. I think all too often when you're planning a wedding everyone expects you to be so happy (if stressed) because it's "the happiest day of your life" but for me it's brought a lot of odd feelings and I'm having to accept a lot about myself and those around me.

    I have friends, but I'd say they're more the low key that sit in the sideline kind, we chat every few months, catch up on occasion. I have some closer friends, that I talk to every week, and maybe one I talk to every day, but I have been feeling like I'm very alone. 

    I have anxiety, and a history of PSTD and depression, so I know a lot of how I think and feel is often a little poisoned by these mental health issues, but lately I feel very much like I have been giving a lot and getting very little back. 

    I'm very aware now that I am quite a needy person and I can be quite jealous, but I honestly think it stems from the hurt I feel by realising someone I care deeply for is making effort with other people but not me. I think I just would like to be recognised, and all the things I have done for them to be recognised by them too. 

    Sometimes I feel quite judged by my friends, and this isn't helped by my total lack of confidence in the decisions I'm making. I know I need validation and I shouldn't but I'm working on that. 

    So yeah, that's where I'm at. Nothing is really happening at the moment that's wedding related because I'm not sure what to do. It's still so far off, I feel like when I try and talk about it to people it just bores them, and I just feel a bit low about it all. I really don't know who I can rely on to help me other than M and my sister, and who else will actually still be around in 18 months.

    I want to just go and elope this year and be done with it all, but it just isn't an option for us .

    Thanks for the safe space to ramble. 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,513 New bride

    Oh CDA, I so totally relate to how you are feeling right now! I don't have many friends, just 2 good ones, as I'm quite socially anxious, and as we all have jobs and kids we are so busy. No one seems in the least bit interested in the wedding, not even my fiance half the time ๐Ÿ˜• I wanted to have a quiet wedding abroad, but was overruled. I also constantly feel like I make more effort with other people than they do with me.

    So no advice but sending hugs and positive vibes your way. It doesn't help you, but I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this ๐Ÿ˜€

  • MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

    Oh CDA, I so totally relate to how you are feeling right now! I don't have many friends, just 2 good ones, as I'm quite socially anxious, and as we all have jobs and kids we are so busy. No one seems in the least bit interested in the wedding, not even my fiance half the time ๐Ÿ˜• I wanted to have a quiet wedding abroad, but was overruled. I also constantly feel like I make more effort with other people than they do with me.

    So no advice but sending hugs and positive vibes your way. It doesn't help you, but I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this ๐Ÿ˜€

     

    Thank you so much, im pleased its helped you to feel a little less alone in it, and i appreciate you taking the time to make me feel better about it too! Big hugs!! And if you ever want to just chat wedding im always around :) 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,513 New bride
    CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):
    MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

    Oh CDA, I so totally relate to how you are feeling right now! I don't have many friends, just 2 good ones, as I'm quite socially anxious, and as we all have jobs and kids we are so busy. No one seems in the least bit interested in the wedding, not even my fiance half the time ๐Ÿ˜• I wanted to have a quiet wedding abroad, but was overruled. I also constantly feel like I make more effort with other people than they do with me.

    So no advice but sending hugs and positive vibes your way. It doesn't help you, but I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this ๐Ÿ˜€

     

    Thank you so much, im pleased its helped you to feel a little less alone in it, and i appreciate you taking the time to make me feel better about it too! Big hugs!! And if you ever want to just chat wedding im always around :) 

    Thank you! Wedding planning on top of everyday life can be really bloody stressful, so be kind to yourself x

  • I Feel Naked! 

    I must stress for anyone of a nervous disposition - I am not actually naked 

    On Saturday we wet back to the incredible jewellers M worked with to design and make my ring, as i just wasn't comfortable with the fit. When i originally gave M my ring size it was back in October time, and after that i vowed not to talk rings again and thought nothing more of it, only between October and May i managed to lose about 1.5 stone, and apparently some of that came off my fingers. 

    I read somewhere that the ring should need a bit of a wiggle, and mine was full on coming off when i washed my hands. 

    Long story short - they're brilliant and they have taken it in to resize it for free  but i noticed something very unexpected in the hours (and days) that followed. 

    I just felt so bare, and sad. Its only a piece of jewellery, and it hasn't gone because intentions have changed but it feels sad to not have it. I realise now how much i used to check it was there, and as sad as it sounds, looking at it when im having a shitty time at work made me feel a bit better, like that little spark to remind me why i was trudging on with it all.

    So, as you'll come to realise there was only one way i could fix this....shopping! 

    It was actually M's idea, as he also didn't like there not being anything there now, and he suggested a stand in. This is something i have seen on other forums but never gave much thought to, but seeing as we would like to go to Asia for our honeymoon i had toyed with the idea, because frankly if i lot my real ring there i just wouldn't come back (i mean, i might not anyway ) but seeing as at the moment funds are painfully tight, and the one i reallly wanted was out of stock on Etsy, i have gone for this super cute low key little ring 

    Item image

    It was only £8, the seller makes them to order and i thought it was a cute little symbol to me, and to the outside world to a degree, that we're still tight and things are on track. 

    I know it may seem utterly pointless, but im one of those people that constantly seeks reassurance and if an £8 ring will perk me up in the day to remind me why im doing what i do then fuck it. 

    Now we just need to find a way to doge the wedding band questions when we go back to collect my ring in a few weeks. Theyre amazing, and id bloody love to go down a bespoke route like M did for my engagement ring but they start at £1,000 EACH. 

    I like not living in a hut eating beans out a tin so i think we will just politely find an alternative. 

    Were off camping this weekend so i only need to make it through 1.5 more days of work then we can sit in a field drinking like were 18 again! 

  • Zara29Zara29 Posts: 105

    What a lovely idea.

    I'm also getting a back up ring for travelling etc.. my E ring and W ring both have diamonds in them and have been told not to wear them on the beach/swimming etc... also mine and FH's hobby is travelling the world and riding rollercoasters (weird I know) and I don't like the idea of wearing my expensive rings on rides in case they got bashed about or even lost, and I hated the idea of not having a wedding ring for honeymoon so I'm going to get the following:

    https://www.monicavinader.com/alta-thin-ring/rose-gold-vermeil-alta-thin-ring-rose-gold?search=%2Fshop%2Fby-type%2Frings%2Fby-price%2F-%2Fsort-by%2Fprice-asc%3Fpage%3D2

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,513 New bride

    I know what you mean - I feel naked without my ring. I sometimes go to Romania for work and I have a cheap Swarovski ring I wear then as I don't like to take my real one.

    I think a white lie that you are having your grandmother's wedding ring or a family ring or something would be a good dodge on the wedding ring front!

  • Ohh Zara thats gorgeous! I might look there when I come to getting a better stand in! They look so pretty but different. 

    MrsC i like that idea, i hadnt even thought of that! Thank youu!!

  • I Love Family

    I had the loveliest evening with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins last night. These bunch mean the absolute world to me though, my aunt is like a second Mum and my cousins feel like brothers. They're just the most genuine, kind and caring people i know.

    So we went over last night just for a catch up really, as we moved 5 mins away from them but things have been so hectic on all fronts it just hasn't happened in a while. 

    As all conversations seem to do these days, she asked how wedding plans were going and we explained we've crossed off enough of the big things for us to legally get married, have some food and photos to remember it all by, but not much else. 

    I've hit a roadblock with it all, partly because we've had a month of other trips, DIY on the house and general life getting in the way, and partly because i cant face getting another quote for something and going into that spiral of "we're going to end up broke from this why can't we elope" (no joke - this happens on probably a bi-monthly basis).

    From then, she sat down with both of us, went through our ideas on LITERALLY everything. Cakes, invitations, colours, materials, candles, centrepieces, videography (which they're doing FOR FREE) the full day set up and take down process, transport, attire, bridesmaids, the list just goes on. She asked about things that hadn't even crossed my mind. 

    This woman is just a star. After an evening of great food and some tea, shes basically pulling out all the stops to help us at minimum cost. Shes a fantastic craftswoman, she makes all manner of gorgeous pretty things, so gradually i'm going to go through and actually do posts on things like decor and the small touches, because shes really helped us to figure it all out. Its like she stepped into my brain and pulled out the good ideas currently bogged down by the rubbish ones. 

    So, were going to DIY and work on together: 

    - Invitations. We aren't doing Save The Dates to keep cost down, but may send out an E-Card. 
    - Table centrepieces
    - Flower hoop or similar for ceremony backdrop
    - Reception room general decoration
    - Ceremony room decoration
    - Making a veil/cape, belt and adding something to my dress to make it feel a bit more me
    Table plan, which potentially involved making a large wheel....
    - All day of signage and stationary
    - Shes also helping to set up a surprise for me to M, as she has someone in the know to save me some ££. 

     They're also doing full videography of the ceremony and reception (my cousin is doing a media course and is so excited. they make videos of trips and holidays all the time and they're a dab hand at it!) and my other cousin will be doing all of our evening reception photos, and hopefully a few sunset shots of M and I after the main photographers have gone. All for free. They just wont, they are so excited to be a part of the day and help us out, so to say thank you ill be taking the boys to the most insane Laser Tag place i can find, and ill probably take my aunt and uncle out for a slap up meal or something similar. 

    Oh and on top of all of that, they have offered to pay for us to stay in our dream accommodation for 2 nights after the wedding as we are delaying a honeymoon.

    I cant even.

    My love for this family makes me feel like i might just burst. 

     

     

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,513 New bride

    How lovely, they sound like superstars x

  • Ozzy2bOzzy2b Posts: 143

    I just read through your whole thread, and just wanted to say thank you for being so honest about the ups and downs! I feel a bit like I am being over positive and everything is going well because no-one (apart from my other half K) really knows that much about what we are doing or the work that goes into it.

    Your plans sound brilliant - will look forward to some DIY posts and hopefully all the practical small things that can be done will make it all feel more personal and about the two of you on the day x

  • Ozzy2b wrote (see post):

    I just read through your whole thread, and just wanted to say thank you for being so honest about the ups and downs! I feel a bit like I am being over positive and everything is going well because no-one (apart from my other half K) really knows that much about what we are doing or the work that goes into it.

    Your plans sound brilliant - will look forward to some DIY posts and hopefully all the practical small things that can be done will make it all feel more personal and about the two of you on the day x

    Aw thank you. I just think in this industry its often expected that once you get a ring you can never be unhappy again, but anyone planning an event over the course of a few months-years is going to have stresses and annoyances! 

    If being over positive is keeping you (and it) going then power to you! I think im going to start being very selective about who in my circle i actually tell things too as well, because so few people really get it. 

    Thanks for reading :) 

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    Aww how lovely do your family sound! Your Aunt especially sounds like superwoman.

    I get how you feel about the ups and downs and I think some people do assume that an engagement ring is some magic fix to all of life's problems and that you couldn't possibly have an off day because "you've got the wedding to look forward to" / "you're getting married" / "this is the happiest time of your life" / "well at least your Mum is taking an interest" (when I complain she's driving me to insanity)....repeat ad infinitum.  Whilst it is an incredibly happy time it's also fraught with emotions, pressure and stress, that's without normal life running alongside too (moving is stressful!). It's so refreshing to read your honesty! 

    Your plans sound lovely. I'm glad the stain on the dress turned out to be minor. Have you got anywhere with the bbq catering option? 

  • Ashley72 wrote (see post):

     

    Your plans sound lovely. I'm glad the stain on the dress turned out to be minor. Have you got anywhere with the bbq catering option? 

     

    We got an email from the caterers themselves this week so we sent off pretty much exactly what we want and what we can think of so far, and they're yet to get back to us. I know its full swing in season so ill give it a few weeks i think. We have decided as a plan B if they're really not ok with our requests we will have their set menu roast, as we would still love that, its just it means cutting the day guests from 70 to about 50. 

    The venue itself it getting frustrating I cant lie. In all email correspondence they don't actually sign off who you're talking to, so you never know who has said what and if there's any continuity in service at all. 
    I'm debating going to another of their open evenings but with a little more "presence" as when we went last time i introduced us to the coordinator who proceeded to introduce us to the florist and just walk off, whilst i was telling her we have booked and will be working with her soon....

    I do know a few people who have been married there, and are due to be in the next year, and they have said they've had no issues so i'm sure when our time gets a bit closer it'll be fine, but as a super control freak i do think we should be getting a little more. 

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    I think the focus at the moment will be on this year and early next. I would definitely pop along to an open evening :)

    I don't know what you want for your wedding rings, but we made plain bands for each other and did a workshop- think it was £800 for both rings and the workshop- £200 for the workshop plus gold and it was absolutely brilliant. Could be an option for you, as you can have stones set and other things too :)

  • Sian91 wrote (see post):

    I think the focus at the moment will be on this year and early next. I would definitely pop along to an open evening :)

    I don't know what you want for your wedding rings, but we made plain bands for each other and did a workshop- think it was £800 for both rings and the workshop- £200 for the workshop plus gold and it was absolutely brilliant. Could be an option for you, as you can have stones set and other things too :)

     

    I love the idea of a workshop! We originally wanted to go down that route, but now M wants something a bit more unique, and seeing as he went to town on my engagement ring i really cant say no haha. 

    I think we might leave them until next summer to make a decision. We have way too much time at the moment its a bit annoying. 

  • Breathe

    I just spent about an hour sat working out every month between now and our wedding, to work out what months i will have big expenditures going out (I'm going to need a new car next year - bugger!) and how much i can tuck away each month. 

    I hate this kind of thing. I have always worked, sometimes 3 jobs at a time, and i have a constant and real fear that money just doesnt stick around, and there is never enough of it. Having been in debt in my younger years due to lack of understanding and stupidity, im so paranoid about being in that position again. 

    Super excited and pleased to say as long as things dont go drastically out of the plans were rockin' and rollin' 


    This is a huge weight off my mind, but it also means now i know what im really working with i can make some better decisions with wedding purchases.

     

     

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Glad you are on top of the Finances, makes you so much more relaxed knowing you are in control.

     

  • MrsS85 wrote (see post):

    Glad you are on top of the Finances, makes you so much more relaxed knowing you are in control.

     

    Absolutely! We had of course sat down and worked out what we could save ect, but being as paranoid as i am i just never felt like it was actually possible and there must be something wrong along the line, or that one of the big expenses would wipe half of the savings out. It feel so much better to have my sh!t together a bit more haha. 

  • DJ

    So we have just booked our DJ!! It was the last biggie on the list, and to be honest i wasnt expecting to get anything sorted until later in the year but as you will come to realise, i have a lot of down time on my hands due to my job and i struggle with leaving things be. 

    We had sent out a few feelers to some DJs that were recommended to us, through podcasts, the venue, and just on Bridebook. There were 3 main ones i liked, but you'll soon see why it became a bit of a no brainer. 

    1- Tony Winyard
    2 -Fenton Gee
    3- Dan - Shoosh Weddings


    1 - I came across Tony via the Bridechilla Podcast (which i highly recommend and am fully obsessed with). Hes won lots of awards, and is honestly a phenomenal guy, but was close to double our budget, starting at £1200 ish. He was super helpful and kind even though i explained we couldn't afford it, and would really recommend him if you need a DJ & MC. 

    2- We met Fenton at an open day at our venue, and he seemed to have the right vibe, very relaxed and he had even got married at the venue himself, so he knew it really well! When it came to discussing pricing a short while after though i was left a little frustrated by his team. I asked for what his packages were, just so we could get an idea if hes even in budget, and i was asked to let them know what our budget way roughly, they asked if it was in the region of £500, £800 or £1000+. I advised £800, as thats close enough. They came back  and stated his prices start at £1,250 and they asked if we could stretch our budget...... This honestly just got my back up a bit. Don't ask someone what their budget is, offer ones even lower and insinuate you can work with a range of price points, and then offer something way over. I did give them feedback as such, as someone on a tight budget i really didnt appreciate the awkwardness of being asked to increase it. 

    3- I found Dan on Bridebook when i was sending out mass quote requests, after feeling so frustrated and fed up from the encounter above. As with anyone i request a quote from, id had a look on his website and his Facebook page, and he just gave off such a relaxed chilled vibe. He has so so many great reviews and from only weeks ago, and this year he actually won the Regional Highly Recommended award with The Wedding Industry Awards. So we had a little back and forth, hes done our venue loads so knows the space, and to just top everything off he offered his evening package for £599! WIN

    It feels a bit odd to have this done, because really now everything is drilling down into the finer details, and were still 19 months out. I feel like i've done way too much too soon and i might come to regret it, but hey at least now whatever happens we will get married and have a bit of a party!

     

    Tasks Done

    Venue - Booked 
    Photographers - Booked
    Caterers - In venue package
    Registrar - Preliminary booked until we can give notice. 
    DJ - Booked
    Maid of Honour - Asked

    Is there any other huge expenses i've missed that are better to book early? Family is doing the videography, i have one bridesmaid to ask but theres no rush with that. 

    What on earth can i get sunk into next? 

  • CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):

    DJ

    So we have just booked our DJ!! It was the last biggie on the list, and to be honest i wasnt expecting to get anything sorted until later in the year but as you will come to realise, i have a lot of down time on my hands due to my job and i struggle with leaving things be. 

    We had sent out a few feelers to some DJs that were recommended to us, through podcasts, the venue, and just on Bridebook. There were 3 main ones i liked, but you'll soon see why it became a bit of a no brainer. 

    1- Tony Winyard
    2 -Fenton Gee
    3- Dan - Shoosh Weddings


    1 - I came across Tony via the Bridechilla Podcast (which i highly recommend and am fully obsessed with). Hes won lots of awards, and is honestly a phenomenal guy, but was close to double our budget, starting at £1200 ish. He was super helpful and kind even though i explained we couldn't afford it, and would really recommend him if you need a DJ & MC. 

    2- We met Fenton at an open day at our venue, and he seemed to have the right vibe, very relaxed and he had even got married at the venue himself, so he knew it really well! When it came to discussing pricing a short while after though i was left a little frustrated by his team. I asked for what his packages were, just so we could get an idea if hes even in budget, and i was asked to let them know what our budget way roughly, they asked if it was in the region of £500, £800 or £1000+. I advised £800, as thats close enough. They came back  and stated his prices start at £1,250 and they asked if we could stretch our budget...... This honestly just got my back up a bit. Don't ask someone what their budget is, offer ones even lower and insinuate you can work with a range of price points, and then offer something way over. I did give them feedback as such, as someone on a tight budget i really didnt appreciate the awkwardness of being asked to increase it. 

    3- I found Dan on Bridebook when i was sending out mass quote requests, after feeling so frustrated and fed up from the encounter above. As with anyone i request a quote from, id had a look on his website and his Facebook page, and he just gave off such a relaxed chilled vibe. He has so so many great reviews and from only weeks ago, and this year he actually won the Regional Highly Recommended award with The Wedding Industry Awards. So we had a little back and forth, hes done our venue loads so knows the space, and to just top everything off he offered his evening package for £599! WIN

    It feels a bit odd to have this done, because really now everything is drilling down into the finer details, and were still 19 months out. I feel like i've done way too much too soon and i might come to regret it, but hey at least now whatever happens we will get married and have a bit of a party!

     

    Tasks Done

    Venue - Booked 
    Photographers - Booked
    Caterers - In venue package
    Registrar - Preliminary booked until we can give notice. 
    DJ - Booked
    Maid of Honour - Asked

    Is there any other huge expenses i've missed that are better to book early? Family is doing the videography, i have one bridesmaid to ask but theres no rush with that. 

    What on earth can i get sunk into next? 

     

    You've done so much, I'm insanely proud of you!

    Are there other tasks you have on your list that you'd really like t

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,513 New bride

    Wow!

    Cars and dress are the other 2 major expenses I can think of, unless you are having a videographer? Then hair and make up.

    I know I'm getting married August BH (2019), but I sorted my MUA and hairdresser a couple of months back, and an insane amount of the people I contacted were already booked! 

  •  

    Aw thank you Jessie! I dont quite know why i felt the need to do it all but at least i can chill a bit now!

    Thanks for the suggestions MrsCtoBe

    Cars are a bit up in the air. As it'll all be in the one place we don't really need anything, and i'm trying to sort a surprise out for M. He loves Mustangs, so i'm trying to see if i can arrange for him and his best man to be collected by surprise. Logistically its a bit awkward, and for a 20 min journey they're charging around £370, so i'm taking some time to decide. My Super Aunt said she might know someone who could do it for us cheaper, so i'm going to wait out on that for a bit. I'll be at the venue from 9am to get ready with people so i don't need a fancy car, i want to drive myself but M is having none of it! I'll probably grab a lift with family as they'll be taking all the decorations down to set up for me. 

    Family is doing the videography so thats sorted. 

    I think i will give Hair & MU a look into next. I did get a few quotes and them promptly lost the will to live, so i might compare all those and see where i'm at. Some were booking up, but others wouldn't even give me a price this early! 

    I'm just very conscious that our wedding date is the first weekend of the Easter holidays, so its likely suppliers might be going away while they still can before things really kick off (or that's my fear anyway) and there's 2 Christmases between now and then, and even if its just me, i go into a shutdown from mid November til Jan! Nothing happens, no work gets done, and all the food gets eaten with zero concern! So in my mind that takes out like 3 months of the total planning time. 

    I do have a dress, but i think ill do a separate post about that.... 

  • The Dress - Revisited 

    So as some of you may recall, I bought a dress having been engaged a total of 4 weeks. 

    I found it on the Facebook Marketplace, it was the first dress i had looked at and realistically thought it looked nice. I had a bit of a feeling of fate, as it was 15 mins down the road, in my size, and a bloody bargain. 

    Of course, with having almost 2 years until the date, i'm having lots of wobbles. I haven't showed a huge amount of people, and generally the comments have been really good, except when i showed my Super Aunt and i explained how i was feeling a little ...meh about it all, she goes "its a lovely dress but i understand what you mean". I appreciate her honesty, and her going "oh no its so lovely" was unlikely to actually make me suddenly love it. 

    She is however a bloomin master of all things sewing, and has offered to help me customise it, so i have a few options:

    - Customise the current dress - probably keeping it all in with accessories to under £350.

    - Go try on other dresses and start afresh  - figure out if i can sell my current one. Potentially another £800. This was my original budget however i of course love the bloody fancy designer ones for over £1,000.

    - Have a dress bespoke made, with a bit of a few things i like, take the risk that i cant try it on, but have it made from someone highly recommended, but in china - probably about £400 in total

    I feel like a bit of a kn*b really, because LITERALLY everything you read when you're first engaged tells you not to run out and buy big things, but me being me i thought i would be different and it was the exception. pfft. 

    On paper, before i bought anything i said i wanted a train, and an interesting back, and nothing princessy. 

    So here's the dress i have (not on me, i deleted all photos of me in it) : 
    DID by Watters - Spring 2014. Style 52233, "Katy" slim A-line wedding dress, lace godet skirt with a lace scallop hem, V-neck, spaghetti strap and lace corset bodice, WattersWillowby Katy 52233 bridal gown. - V-neck, spaghetti strap, lace corset bodice. - Georgette band at waist - Slim a-line, lace godet skirt with a lace scallop hem - Cathedral Train - Bodice also available lined as style 52233B

    And the train itself because this was one of the things i really fell in love with: 
    Image result for willowby katy 52233Image result for willowby katy 52233

    It looks gorgeous on all the Real Bride photos i have, but i feel a bit average in it. I know i have my own body issue stuff to deal with, so its hard to know.

  • The Dress - Revisited Pt 2 (SUPER PIC HEAVY)

    So here's just a general idea of the other types of dresses i have found myself liking. 

    Willowby Galatea Embroidered Tulle Ballgownemily âย˜¼ âย˜¾'s collection! https://www.pinterest.com/embemholbrook/Courtesy of Willowby by Watters Wedding Dresses; www.watters.com/willowby; Wedding dress idea.Style 6752 Hawthorne Hayley Paige bridal gown - Alabaster ombred tulle bridal ball gown, draped sweetheart bodice with lace applique at sides, keyhole back with corset detail and lace scallop accent, full ombre tulle skirt.beautiful elegant open back lace wedding dresselihav sasson 2018 capsule bridal sleeveless deep plunging v neck heavily embellished bodice tulle skirt romantic soft a line wedding dress chapel train (1) mv -- Elihav Sasson 2018 Royalty Girl Capsule CollectionAre you into blush wedding dresses?

    I also like the idea of doing something like this instead of a veil: 
    St.Patrick Barcelona Bridal Fashion Week 2017 - Polka Dot Bride

     

    I really havent a clue what to do, other than maybe wait until next year when it isn't so early and go to a few shops, try things on and just see how i feel. I just don't want to fall for something i cant afford. 

    I always liked the idea of something a little unusual and different, but still really pretty, and i just dont even know where to begin. 

  • Candice9Candice9 Posts: 230

    That first dress is absolutely lovely and I'm sure you will look wonderful in it.

    And oh my word, all of those are lovely. 

    I found a Watters dress that I absolutely loved (https://www.watters.com/willowby/products/orion) but couldn't find a stockist anywhere ans was too afraid to get it ordered in in case I felt like i had to buy it!!

    I ended up going to a sample dress sale at a bridal shop in town and getting an Ian Stewart sample that was supposed to be 2.5k for 550 quid! Maybe it's worth just nipping to a few places and trying some and see how you feel?

     

     

  • Candice9 wrote (see post):

    That first dress is absolutely lovely and I'm sure you will look wonderful in it.

    And oh my word, all of those are lovely. 

    I found a Watters dress that I absolutely loved (https://www.watters.com/willowby/products/orion) but couldn't find a stockist anywhere ans was too afraid to get it ordered in in case I felt like i had to buy it!!

    I ended up going to a sample dress sale at a bridal shop in town and getting an Ian Stewart sample that was supposed to be 2.5k for 550 quid! Maybe it's worth just nipping to a few places and trying some and see how you feel?

     

     

    Oh i love that one! I have it on my Pinterest! I think next year ill have a little look around. I just don't want something that's "normal", so i'm hoping by trying on others ill know a bit more and can decide if i'm gonna go down the route of customising or start afresh. I've put together a little list of places to go, it just feels silly early. 

  • I got my ring back!!! 

    I'm so happy to have it back, as stupid as it is it feels really lovely, and i feel like i'm actually planning a wedding again! Although saying that, i don't exactly have anything to do this early on! 

    I'm in a bit of a funk due to work, and M has his first day back today and he's been dreading it so i think the rest of this year will be working out what we can do to make our work lives a bit happier. We don't want to be "living to work" anymore. 

    I'm still putting the feelers out that we should bugger off to a mountain in Scotland and just get hitched, but as much as he hates the money pressure hes not going for it  It's funny, because although he didn't dream of his wedding growing up, he had quite a clear idea of what he wants and how he'd like it to be. 

    I on the other hand always said the only way id ever get married was if it was in Vegas and a drag queen was the officiant. I was dead set against getting married, absolutely hated the idea, marriage, kids, not for me thanks! Growing up though i was bullied a lot so i figured im being picked out the crowd anyway, i might as well give them a reason and i would go out of my way to be as unconventional and out of the box as possible, so i think a lot of it stemmed from not wanting to be what people would expect. 

    Flash forward to now and honestly, i cant wait to have kids with him. I love our little life so much, and i cant wait to share parental leave, have little adventures together, and stop feeling like it matters what i do for a living, as long as it pays and i enjoy it enough. 

    Theres so much pressure on what you do, but it just doesn't define who you are. I want to be a good wife, sister, mother, friend and thats enough for me.

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    Ooh your dress ideas are gorgeous. I very nearly went for the first one you’ve posted - the Galatea by Willowby. I absolutely loved it but have gone for something else, also by Watters which is the sister line. So many of their dresses are divine and are so soft and floaty they move so beautifully. They’d look fab up a mountain billowing in the breeze too if you did decide to go down that road haha! Orion is a beauty too. I went to a lovely shop in Essex to get my dress and she stocks a large selection of Willowby. There is another “flagship” retailer in Surrey which has a lot too. Their customer service will tell you which shops have which dresses too, if there are particular ones you know you want to try. Have a look at BHLDN too, Watters and Willowby (and other designers) do additional dresses just for them and some are gorgeous although you would have to order online. 

    I totally get what you mean with deciding that being happy and a good wife / friend should be ”enough” and it’s really hard today to feel like that’s acceptable! The ability for a woman to have it all has just become pressure to do / be it all and it’s exhausting quite frankly! Not sure what the magic solution is but you’re definitely not alone! 

  • CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):

    The Dress - Revisited Pt 2 (SUPER PIC HEAVY)

    So here's just a general idea of the other types of dresses i have found myself liking. 

    Willowby Galatea Embroidered Tulle Ballgownemily âย˜¼ âย˜¾'s collection! https://www.pinterest.com/embemholbrook/Courtesy of Willowby by Watters Wedding Dresses; www.watters.com/willowby; Wedding dress idea.Style 6752 Hawthorne Hayley Paige bridal gown - Alabaster ombred tulle bridal ball gown, draped sweetheart bodice with lace applique at sides, keyhole back with corset detail and lace scallop accent, full ombre tulle skirt.beautiful elegant open back lace wedding dresselihav sasson 2018 capsule bridal sleeveless deep plunging v neck heavily embellished bodice tulle skirt romantic soft a line wedding dress chapel train (1) mv -- Elihav Sasson 2018 Royalty Girl Capsule CollectionAre you into blush wedding dresses?

    I also like the idea of doing something like this instead of a veil: 
    St.Patrick Barcelona Bridal Fashion Week 2017 - Polka Dot Bride

     

    I really havent a clue what to do, other than maybe wait until next year when it isn't so early and go to a few shops, try things on and just see how i feel. I just don't want to fall for something i cant afford. 

    I always liked the idea of something a little unusual and different, but still really pretty, and i just dont even know where to begin. 

    Just binge read your whole thread and love it! You've totally got this and are going to look SO GOOD!

    I do looove the Galatea (the titanium dress). We have it in the shop I work in and it's never not looked good on someone. Have you thought about some kind of detachable skirt for your own dress?

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