Relaxed Summer Wedding in the Chilterns,

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  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    Russia sounds insane! Hope you're having the best trip. 

    We made sure we got names for the plus ones- anyone who had been with someone around a year/moved in/clearly serious got one, even if we hadn't met. We chose not to have '+1' as it may open you up to being date number three. 
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    edited 7 January
    It's been ages but I'm baaack! I survived Russia, it was beautiful and amazing (and challenging) but I'm glad to be back with Ralph.
    This photo sums up the beautiful wintery wonderland I travelled around pretty well:


    Then it was Christmas and then we went to Verona for NYE as Ralph had a gig (picture below!) We also made it to Lake Garda for an afternoon and Venice for a day which was lovely!

    It was in the main square by the Roman Arena and was on TV and crazy fireworks and everything, and we got to drink amazing prosecco in the town hall and hot chocolate and it was awesome.




    But now we are home and back to real life!
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    So..

    On Thursday we are giving notice! Meeting the registrars at 1 and getting that all sorted. Not entirely sure what to expect from that? I'm assuming just verifying who we are, that we're not related or already married?

    We sat and did a big brainstorm of what's left to do but Ralph pointed out a third of hit he can do, a third of it I can do, and the other third is stuff we can gradually do together, so it's not quite as bad as I thought. It does feel slightly intimidating though when you see it all written out. So much to do.. not to mention a lot of weight to lose.

    But it's also super exciting and we're now just under 7 months to go!!! Yayayay!

    Also my mum bought my a beautiful bee necklace for Christmas (there's a small bee theme through the wedding, she'll make some small gold ones for my bouquet etc). We're not sure if it will work with my ceremony dress as it's quite a high mesh neckline, but I'm going to try nearer the time and I'll definitely wear it when I change into my evening dress:


    It's tiny and pretty and simple, which is perfect because both my dresses are pretty dramatic (one is really big, one is sparkly and frilly all over!).
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,028 New bride
    Wooo glad you're back! The photo is incredible and it looks like such a beautiful place! Glad to hear you had a good New Years too! 

    The bee necklace is super cute, and at least you know id 100% goes with one of the dresses, but i think you can pull it off on both. 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,753 New bride

    Welcome back! Have been following your Russia trip on Instagram and just wow!

    Verona & Lake Garda looks great, we were there in the summer and got some great pics of my son rocking out to a band in that same square :)

    Since January arrived it has all suddenly felt very real for us too, and from a big lull there suddenly seems to be lots to get on with - if only my fiancé would take some tasks from me!

  • The photos of your trip are lovely, it looks like you had a great time. The first photo is incredible! Your bee necklace is really pretty too
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    edited 8 January
    Thank you both!
    It was so beautiful that if I put up more than one photo I'd have to put up about 100 (flat plains of snow and horizontal sun with a circular rainbow around it, sealions, snowy volcanoes in Kamchatka, walking on frozen rivers, etc!)
    Ralph sent out the invitations for the main part of the day while I was gone, so that's sorted! We haven't done evening ones yet because we are expecting some people to decline (another jazz community wedding is happening on the same day so we have already had one decline as they know the others even better, which is conpcomple fair enough and we are expecting it will happen more!).

    As I worried, an amazing gig in America has come up for Ralph on that weekend and obviously he can't do it :( which also means the others from that band won't be there, which is a huge shame but as musicians we were always aware this could happen and probably will for more people!

    Looking into fairy lights for the garden.. can't decide whether it's cheaper to buy lots or to just hire a package or something, has anyone done that? I'd love loads in the trees and a big web over the bar area (if it's good weather, if it rains wellw squeeze the bar in somehow!).

    As Ralph is out teaching today and I'm practicing at home, I'm thinking I will try my dress on and see how the necklace works with it! I know it won't do up at the back yet but I can get the general effect (and it will kick me into extreme diet in panic which is what I need!)
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    We have officially given notice and our little booklet to look through/choose the text for our ceremony has arrived! Super exciting and I'm getting so excited!

    My Christmas present from my dad was a cake class at Rosalind Miller's in London and last Friday I did it. It was amaaaazing and super useful because while Ralph's godmother (Aunty Wendy) is making the cake, I'm icing it and so it's essential that I learn how to get super smooth amazing buttercream etc (I also want to start taking baking seriously anyway!). Here is my attempt:

    (And my certificate hehe!) Still have a way to go on the smooth buttercream but at least I know how now!
    I'm completely obsessed with cakes and every day I'm changing my mind about the decor and obsessing over something else so goodness knows how it's going to turn out! 

    At the moment I'm feeling pretty stressed about organising everything and about various family problems (my parents / their families hating each other..). My mum is happy when we're organising the arty/crafty aspects of the wedding but it's really hard knowing she's dreading the actual day (being in the same room as my dad mostly), and she isn't making any attempt to hide that. I'm very nervous that either she or one of her sisters  or parents will end up crying or yelling at my dad, or they'll completely ignore him and it will feel horrible. I'd rather the ignoring though! But it's just a cloud hanging over everything and it's sometimes making me feel a bit miserable!

    I may be overthinking and maybe everyone is going to be grown-up about it. I really hope so, but mum did 'accidentally' send a message about how much she's dreading it to our sistere/mum group chat instead of directly to my sister and it's hard to put out of my head!
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,753 New bride
    edited 17 January

    Cake looks fab, very professional, well done!

    In terms of your parents, I get it as mine have been divorced since I was a toddler - they actually do get on OK, but if my stepmum is present my dad won't speak to my mum at all which can be super awkward, hence we aren't having a traditional top table layout.

    I get your mum finds it upsetting but I assume it has been a little while now since they split up, so frankly she needs to (wo)man up for one day and put you first - the day isn't about them. Not sure why your aunties or grandparents would be crying or yelling but if it were my wedding they would be asked to leave if they couldn't behave themselves. Your dad is entitled to pursue his own happiness and you are entitled to a relationship with both parents without being made to feel awkward or guilty about it.

  • That cake look incredible!!! You should be so so proud!! Definitely post other bakes you do! 

    I'm sorry about the family situation, its really rough when sides just don't get along. I'm sure on the day they'll all be so absorbed in the happiness and excitement that they wont make a fuss at all, but maybe have a chat with someone impartial but close to you, and ask them to keep an eye or be on hand to diffuse situations, or just even to politely remind them they're at a wedding and can they respect that. Adults respond to a discreet telling off in the same way kids do i think! They're usually so shocked someone has called them out that they behave. 

  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    Thanks for the advice! I hope they do get absorbed in the day. It's been 3 years since he left her and he did it in a pretty bad way, but I think they're better off apart! They had a strange and unbalanced relationship and it was everything to her so she hasn't coped the best.  Also mum's family are not the most emotionally restrained which is why I'm concerned, but I think Ralph's parents will probably be on hand to help if things get difficult (they are lovely and rational and normal, unlike any of my  immediate or extended family!). Fingers crossed.

    On a more positive note two giant boxes of cake equipment arrived in the post today hehe! I still have some to get but when I can start properly I will definitely post more cakes :). I have tins and spatulas and palette knives and a buttercream scraper, but I still have to get the big expensive mixer, a turntable, heat cores for the big cakes, and some gel colours and things. It's so exciting!
  • Ahh that sounds so fantastic! I really admire how you get so stuck into everything, youre a very talented person! 
  • Your cake picture won't load for me, I want to see it! Will have to check back later and have a nosy. 

    Sorry to hear about the stress of your mum and dad, hopefully everyone will be considerate of the fact it's your day and not cause a scene! 
  • Wow i love all the pictures of your trips, how wonderful it all looks.

    Your cake also looks very professional, hope you have lots of fun practicing more please share the results here! 

    I’m sorry the family stuff is putting a bit of a dampener on things, I’m sure the day will be fine when it comes to it, hopefully everyone will be grown up enough to realise the day isn’t about them and their drama. Could Ralph, or maybe one of your sisters have a discreet word with your mum about how it’s worrying you? 
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    Thank you everyone :) I'm really excited about cake potential!
    I'm feeling a bit more positive about things now; partly because I spoke to my dad and he volunteered himself to be the coordinator on the day, keeping him busy and less involved in the social part of things. This could be easier for both him and my mum, and also means he is the one dealing with my granny (his mum!) Who's garden we're using, as she can sometimes be a bit odd and opinionated! So if he oversaw everything it would be really good and I'm very grateful that he has offered. I will make sure he has lots of lovely drinks and food and doesn't spend the whole day working through! But he's much less sentimental about weddings and things and just wants me to be happy, which is lovely.
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    In other news, my hair is going copper and pink today as an experiment to see if Ralph likes it enough for me to have it for the wedding! Then we have plenty of time for him to get used to it and plenty of time to grow it out and change it before the summer if he hates it! He quite liked it before though so fingers crossed (also let's hope I like it). Currently I look like this:

    Eek!
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride

    I really like it! Not sure about for the wedding, maybe a bit lighter and brighter copper/pink rather than the red? I'll see how I feel anyway :)
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,753 New bride
    You look amazing, I love it!
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    Thank you :)
  • Stunning! I absolutely love it! 
  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,295 New bride
    Gorgeous!
    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    Thank you all :) I'm really pleased with it and getting used to it now! I kind of want to try it with my dress and Ralph is out all day so it maaaay make a little trip out of its bag in the wardrobe upstairs at some point.
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride

    From the front! Tomorrow I will try it with my headband/crown thing and see what it looks like, and potentially the dress. I had a small operation on my toe today so I can't do much moving around and the dress is in a wardrobe behind boxes on the top floor so it may not happen but I'm interested to see how it all feels in combination.

    My mixer arrives tomorrow so soon I can start practicing cakes soon! Pictures will of course be put on this thread. 

    I can't remember if I've posted about my hen party before, but the current plan is 10 of us (8 bridesmaids plus me and my mum) and my lovely MOH has booked some activities for us. Plan: Saturday afternoon makeover and photoshoot, then dinner and cocktails and potentially some dancing somewhere. Sunday: life drawing, brunch, burlesque dance class! It sounds absolutely perfect for me, and if someone is uncomfortable with something they can just miss that thing and come later or leave early. I'm wondering if I should book an Airbnb in London overnight to crash in for those of us who want to, but that could get super expensive!
    Also what slightly concerns me is I thought yay life drawing (I love it) but Ralph just had drinks with his best man, who said that his friend used to do life drawing modelling for hen parties and it involved brides being posed WITH the model which isn't what I had in mind 😂 but we'll see!

    An amazing cake stand I ordered arrived today, I need to experiment to see if it's strong enough but it's a potential for the wedding cake!

  • Your hair looks so stunning! I agree slightly more coppery would look lovely with your dress though. 
    Also how gorgeous is that cake stand, fingers crossed it's strong enough! 
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    Thanks!
    I actually just tried the hair with my hairband and veil and I love the contrast of the red and the white so we'll see! 
    It looks stupid with the top and it's the wrong colour lipstick but the actual hair and accessories work well I think:





    Sorry also for photo spam! I couldn't decide which ones 😂

    Sidenote: I'm really thrilled with the two hairbands twisted together, I think it would be too subtle for me otherwise!
  • The top doesn't look stupid at all - and I think you have a haircut coupled with a face that could rock ANY colour, I truly do.  You remind me of a modern take on Audrey Hepburn in the second to last picture.  
    I love the headbands together like that and completely agree with you about the impact they make together.

    I didn't have a chance to comment much earlier, but loving you plans/ thread. 

    I'm obsessed with Russia - don't suppose you'd consider throwing together a quick separate thread with more of your pics from there?  I can't believe you made it to Kamchatka - do you know how incredible & rare that is?
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    edited 25 January
    Thank you so much :) that's really kind! 

    People are so lovely and supportive on here, it's making me feel much more confident! I always worry I look weird. Although my phone makes everyone and everything look better haha..

    Yes, I could do a separate thread! I have hundreds of photos, everything was so beautiful I couldn't stop taking them. Kamchatka was a once in a lifetime kind of experience; it felt like another planet, incredibly beautiful and totally surreal. I feel incredibly lucky!
  • Cecilia13Cecilia13 Posts: 499 New bride
    Here is my Russia pics thread:
    https://forum.youandyourwedding.co.uk/general-chat/488451-pictures-from-russia.html

    I tried on my dress today and it doesn't quite do up (also needs a new zip anyway) so from now on I just have to be super healthy and as soon as my foot heals (minor toe operation last week so I'm limping around in bandages and sandals at the moment) it's going to be lots of time at the gym . I'm actually really looking forward to that, I haven't been able to go for a few months coz of my toe and finally I will be able to!
    In the meantime, I took a picture or 2 holding the dress closed 😂. But liking it with the hair!

    I love all the lace details!

    Does anyone have a good recommendation for somewhere I can take it to replace the zip and get a couple of threads neatened in London/Buckinghamshire? (It was bought in a sample sale!). I have no idea where to start or what sort of price to expect for something like that.
  • wedscotwedscot Posts: 43 New bride
    You look stunning. Beautiful dress and your complexion is fantastic. I definitely have face envy  :)
    Our planning thread here
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