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Miss N To Mrs W

Hello lovelies!

I'm new to the engaged life, and I already have too many wedding-related thoughts going on in my head. Hopefully I'll be able to channel it in a more organised manner here :)

 

About The Two Of Us

Just over 2 years ago, I moved from the UK to the Netherlands to study my Masters degree. As a person who deals with anxiety, I reached out on a few different social media platforms in an effort to get to know people in and around where I'd be studying, so that I wouldn't be quite on my own. 

After a few days, G got in touch with me, and we began chatting on Whatsapp almost immediately. About a week later, he let me know that he had feelings for me, and completely freaked me out. I told him I didn't yet feel that way (eep!). But as the months creeped up to me moving, we spoke more and more, and I felt my feelings grow for him. 

When I arrived, he met me at the airport, showed me to where I was staying, and took me around Amsterdam. 

More days passed, and he took me to a big beautiful park in Amsterdam called Vondelpark. (He knows I am a huge lover out being out in nature, or at least greenery). We sat on a weeping willow over a lake, and I told him there that I loved him too.

Officially he never asked me out. But we have since bought a house together, have 4 cats and 2 bunnies!

How He Asked

On our 2 year anniversary, he took me on a surprise day trip to Bruges in Belgium. This is a town/city I've been banging on to him for ages about us wanting to go to together. It was always a romantic place in my mind. 

We'd gone on a canal boat ride, had coffee in a cute little square, and had done a fair bit of walking and exploring. We then went to a large, beautiful park which to the side of it has a lake called The Lake Of Love. I was absolutely still oblivious at this point and was taking photos of swans and trees and whatever else caught my attention. We found this cute little secluded area of the park, on-looking the lake. He told me to set up the camera so that we could take some nice photos of us that were not selfies. Again, I had no clue as this is something that we regularly do when we go to new places. I put the camera on to the timer, along with it taking continuous photos. I then took my place up beside him, and the next thing I knew, he was on his knee, asking that question. I just cried, and hugged him, and cried some more. I didn't even tell him yes!

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The Ring

He chose an absolutely perfect ring! It's rose gold, with a nice sized moonstone in the middle and three little diamonds either side. 

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Posts

  • The Budget

    We're planning on getting married on 21st August 2020, which will be on a Friday, and will also be the celebration of our 4 years together.  Luckily it means that we have a good amount of time to save. 

    So far we have just over £5,000 in savings together. We're saving around £500 a month (minimum - more now that I've just received a pay rise - booyah!). I also know that my mother will buy my dress, and my godmother will contribute towards the wedding financially; we expect around £1,000-£2,000. 

    We're planning on spending no more than £19,000, excluding the honeymoon. 

    We'll also be getting married in the Netherlands, as that is where we have settled, and I don't have too much family in the UK. Those who are there are important (parents, siblings, so they will fly over).

  • Becky111Becky111 Posts: 210 New bride

    Congratulations!

    Oh my goodness that ring is so swoonworthy!

     

     

  • Becky111 wrote (see post):

    Congratulations!

    Oh my goodness that ring is so swoonworthy!

     

    Thank you so much! I can't stop looking at it!
    Unfortunately it's a little too big, so we'll have to get it resized.  

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    Look forward to hearing all your plans :) I have an Opal and diamond ring so obviously love yours! 

  • Sian91 wrote (see post):

    Look forward to hearing all your plans :) I have an Opal and diamond ring so obviously love yours! 

    Thank you so much!!

    I've just checked out your planning thread (and I'm following!)!
    Your ring is gorgeous, and the photos are BOMB! What an amazing proposal!

  • Where, I Hope, We'll Say "I Do"

    I'm a Christian, and G is not. However, he has been joining me to Church twice a month. Whilst I know he has no interest in the religious part, I know that he absolutely loves chatting to the old couples after the service for coffee and cookies. 

    I would, of course, love to get married in my Church. I've not taken any photos of the Church myself, because I've not yet had the reason to. But here are two photos from the Church's website. The colours are.. interesting, but I can make it work. I love that it is a tiny little Church and that it has that beautiful intimate feel to it.

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    There is also a nice area to the side of the Church with a kitchen, tables, chairs and bathrooms, so after the ceremony there can be celebratory drinks and some nibbles.

    I've contacted the Rev. and we are arranging to meet up with him in the upcoming weeks to discuss the possibility of getting married there.

     

    Dream Venue

    My dream venue is about 30 minutes drive from the Church. I don't know how much of a problem this could be. But of course I'll look into it if it can be a real possibility. 

    The venue is actually an ex-Church. To me, it's gorgeous! And again, it's fairly small in size, but there is an additional barn outside, and there is a nice forest grounds too, if needed.

    Both G and I love this place, and we've driven up to it a number of times just so we can walk around and nose about!

    Inside we can set up the tables for the meals. I'm still stuck on what sort of foods I'd like served. I really want quite a chilled atmosphere. Me and G are chilled out people, and don't live that fancy life. We also need to figure out how there can still be room to dance afterwards.. and if we'd want to have something outside, like a marquee.

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    The venue can hold up to 160 people, which honestly is more people than we'd want to invite. 

    We've send out an email requesting information regarding hiring this gorgeous place. I hope the outcome will be positive. Of course, everything will be updated here.

  • Candice9Candice9 Posts: 230

    That venue looks so cute with all the lanterns outside! Happy planning! X

  • Your ring is just GORGEOUS!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    Vondelpark is one my favourite places I've ever been, me and H2B love Amsterdam and our friends always joke that whenever we go we spend so much time just lazing about and riding bikes around the park and not actually doing the touristy things! ๐Ÿ™ˆ

    Anyway, congratulations, can't wait to hear more about your wedding! 

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    Fingers crossed on the venue- are you happy to have a room turnover from breakfast to evening reception?

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,135 New bride

    Congratulations! I love your proposal story. The venue you love is beautiful too, I hope it works out for you. August 2020 might seem a long way off now but trust me, time will fly!

  • portilla19 wrote (see post):

    Your ring is just GORGEOUS!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    Vondelpark is one my favourite places I've ever been, me and H2B love Amsterdam and our friends always joke that whenever we go we spend so much time just lazing about and riding bikes around the park and not actually doing the touristy things! ๐Ÿ™ˆ

    Anyway, congratulations, can't wait to hear more about your wedding! 

     

    Thank you so much! He really picked the perfect ring for me; just my style!

    Vondelpark is absolutely amazing, I'm not surprised that you and the H2B love it so much! My work is currently just opposite the park, so I'm in there all the time, haha. 

    I hope I'll be able to make some interesting posts. I feel completely out of my comfort zone. There seems so much to do.

  • Sian91 wrote (see post):

    Fingers crossed on the venue- are you happy to have a room turnover from breakfast to evening reception?

    Yes :) We're also looking at having a marquee outside, and have a chilled sit down area there, and then having the dancing and chill areas inside.

    I guess we'll have to check the options when we go for the tour! :)

  • Ashley72 wrote (see post):

    Congratulations! I love your proposal story. The venue you love is beautiful too, I hope it works out for you. August 2020 might seem a long way off now but trust me, time will fly!

    Thank you so much!

    You're not the first to tell me that time will fly. I'm quite nervous about it actually. Any tips of how to keep on top of things?

  • Meal With G's Parents

    Tonight after work, me and G went to his parents for dinner. His mother gave me lots of hugs, and was really excitable. G's father shook my hand. He's a very quiet man, shows little emotion, so this was a lot for him to do, even though it seems strange, and perhaps a bit cold.

    I told FMIL about our plans for the church and venue, and she loves them. For a critical person, she actually only had good things to say, which was nice.

    She's also wanting to go dress shopping in November when my parents are over to visit. Is it too soon? I honestly don't know what sort of time-line I should be on with these kinds of things. 

     

    For example: I have a friend who got engaged recently, and on the same day, she announced her bridesmaids. I was thinking of only telling mine next year, early in the year. Am I already being slow? Help!

  • Little Purchases

    On Friday, G surprised me, and ordered a wedding planner that I had been eyeing on Etsy. I still think it's incredibly over-priced for what it is, but I'm thrilled he's bought it. I can now be as organised as I need to be. 

    We also bought some cards for who we hope will be our bridesmaids and groomsmen. They should arrive next week. We'll only be telling these special people in December/January. We think it might be a bit early to tell them already. 

    I also bought a folder so any receipts (important receipts) can be stored well.

    I'll take photos and share them once the Etsy purchases have arrived.

    Honestly, this part is cute, and a little fun. But I'm scared of making the big decisions. How do you all deal with it? I'm such an indecisive person. 

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    Make the decision and draw the line! Don’t keep going over stuff in your head. 

    Mum also a serial list writer and have a spreadsheet for budget, guests and things to bring 

  • Venue Mini-Update

    I'm so happy!


    The place we'd like for our wedding venue is giving us a tour on Monday 17th September. 

    The even better news is that the hire of the venue for the day is €1450. This is amazing, a we had budgeted €3500 for it! If this is really the case. The additional €2000 can go towards our dream photographer!

    Eeeek!

     

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Loving reading your thread, that is great news on the venue price.

     

  • MrsS85 wrote (see post):

    Loving reading your thread, that is great news on the venue price.

     

    Thanks so much!
    And it's such a price difference. I'm so excited!

  • Photography Mini-Update

    With the news that the venue hire is a lot less than we were expecting, G and I are now able to look more realistically at the photographer we both love. 

    Last night that we can to the agreement that his all-in package is far too much, and neither of us are really willing to pay it (€3,300). But we are willing to pay a good amount, because photos are important to both of us. Also, my father is a photographer, and he'd be disappointed if we got someone who didn't think was going to do a great job.

    Therefore, I've made a photography comparison list.

     

    1st Choice

    Total: €2500 

    A La Carte: €1495

     6 hours of photography; 250 edited photos

    Small photo album

    USB drive

    Love shoot: €199

    Additional hour: €125 

     

    2nd Choice

     Total: €1575

     Complete package: €1350

    12 hours photography

    Photos on thumb drive

    Small photo album

     Love Shoot: €75

    Travel expenses: €150

     

    At the end of the day, it would only be a €1000 euro difference between a nice photographer (but his photos are very over-exposed, it's just his style), and the other photographer who I have stalked for years and love love love.

    After we've had the meeting with the venue on the 17th September, and if it is even possible to have the wedding there in August 2020, we've decided to contact both photographers and see where it goes.

  • I love love love your thread!! 
    The venue is gorgeous!! I hope the viewing goes well and it all goes to plan! 
    I'm so jealous you live in Amsterdam, its where my other half proposed to me so holds such a dear place in my heart. 

    I'm exactly the same with decisions, i always wonder what if and mull things over 100 times but somehow in 3 months ive got a venue, caterer, photographer, DJ and a dress sorted (although the dress i do keep changing my mind on). I found beforehand i would do my research, compare quotes and reviews and the like, but i made sure i did that bit thoroughly so when i did book something i was really confident in that decision. 

    I cant wait to see how it all comes together! 

  • CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):

    I love love love your thread!! 
    The venue is gorgeous!! I hope the viewing goes well and it all goes to plan! 
    I'm so jealous you live in Amsterdam, its where my other half proposed to me so holds such a dear place in my heart. 

    I'm exactly the same with decisions, i always wonder what if and mull things over 100 times but somehow in 3 months ive got a venue, caterer, photographer, DJ and a dress sorted (although the dress i do keep changing my mind on). I found beforehand i would do my research, compare quotes and reviews and the like, but i made sure i did that bit thoroughly so when i did book something i was really confident in that decision. 

    I cant wait to see how it all comes together! 

     

    Thank you so much!

    Do you have a wedding planning thread? If so, I'd love to follow it! Please link me up!

    So sweet that you got engaged in Amsterdam! Where abouts? It's such a beautiful and romantic city!

    I'm also so impressed that you've accomplished so much in 3 months. You are my idol 

  • Another photography mini update

     

    I discussed things further with G. He can't decide which of the two photographers he likes best. 

    He suggested that we do a love shoot with each photographer, and once we have the photos, we can then decide on which photographer we can move forward with for the wedding. 

    Is this.. a done thing? Is it an option for us?

    Help!

  • JessieNG94 wrote (see post):
     

    Thank you so much!

    Do you have a wedding planning thread? If so, I'd love to follow it! Please link me up!

    So sweet that you got engaged in Amsterdam! Where abouts? It's such a beautiful and romantic city!

    I'm also so impressed that you've accomplished so much in 3 months. You are my idol 

     

    Aw thank you! I think i've just wanted as much as possible done and out the way! It will be the little details i stress over i think haha. 

    My planning thread is:  http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/what-am-i-doing/453644.html

    We actually just got engaged in our hotel room, but because of my anxiety and stuff a big public thing was a huge no no for me. We stayed in the Corner House Hotel, so it was lovely and central, and we took a walk around Dam Square and the canals after :)

    I fully think the ideas of a shoot with each potential photographer is a great idea if its in budget! You'll get some lovely photos you can use for save the dates or invitations (or jsut to have!) and then you can get an idea of who actually works best with you and who really pulls it out the bag! 

  • CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):
     

     

    Aw thank you! I think i've just wanted as much as possible done and out the way! It will be the little details i stress over i think haha. 

    My planning thread is:  http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/what-am-i-doing/453644.html

    We actually just got engaged in our hotel room, but because of my anxiety and stuff a big public thing was a huge no no for me. We stayed in the Corner House Hotel, so it was lovely and central, and we took a walk around Dam Square and the canals after :)

    I fully think the ideas of a shoot with each potential photographer is a great idea if its in budget! You'll get some lovely photos you can use for save the dates or invitations (or jsut to have!) and then you can get an idea of who actually works best with you and who really pulls it out the bag! 

     

    Thank you for sharing your thread with me. I'll be checking it out immediately!

    I think such a proposal is ideal, honestly. I'm like you, I never wanted a big fuss, let alone have it be in front of others. I was so happy when G found a part of the forest that was just us. I think I'd run away if he'd tried something public, haha. 

    Aaaa! I know Corner House Hotel! You have to come back occasionally, at least, to go back to the hotel and make more beautiful memories in Amsterdam!

    I'm so glad that you think the idea of having a shoot with the different photographers is an okay idea. I was worried that it wasn't wedding photographer etiquette. I was really surprised when G suggest it - he's not one who is big for being in photos, even if he can appreciate nice quality photos. Maybe it is an option we can realistically look into. 

     

  • Questioning The Venue

     


    Beautiful brides-to-be, did you take a list of questions with you, (physically, or stuck in your head), that you asked your venue?

    As someone who, as I've explained previously, had a thing for lists and having everything set out (I'm not one for spontaneity), would it come across a bit much if I appear at the venue with my folder which has a list of 20+ questions I'd like to put forward to the venue, if they do not answer it whilst providing the tour?

    G think I'm a little insane, that I'll come across as neurotic and intense. I just want to be organised, and have answers before anything can realistically be booked..

    But I think that's just because here in the Netherlands everyone is chilled, and as he and his family call me, I am a stress-kip (a stressed chicken). He'd rather just go, and if he likes it, book it and go with the flow. I just can't!

    Will it look too much if I bring a billion questions? Am I over-thinking? Is it just my anxiety?

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    You can definitely be prepared and Have a list of questions, sometimes they can’t answer on the spot so you may want to email themand then you’ve got a record too (: 

    I see photography as one of the only things left after the big day, so if you can afford the difference and love the more expensive tog to go for it!

  • Sian91 wrote (see post):

    You can definitely be prepared and Have a list of questions, sometimes they can’t answer on the spot so you may want to email themand then you’ve got a record too (: 

    I see photography as one of the only things left after the big day, so if you can afford the difference and love the more expensive tog to go for it!

     

    That's very true. I was thinking of perhaps writing down their answers, and then afterwards emailing them asking them to confirm. I don't want them to go back on anything that they might offer. 

    Would you completely skip the idea of having the initial photos with each photographer?

  • The Wedding Planner

     

    The wedding planner arrived. It's so beautiful, honestly. In fact, I may have screamed. And it's so much more organised than I realised, which I love!

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    It gives:

    Check lists to do from 18 months down to the day before
    Appointments
    Inspiration boards
    Broken down budgets, estimated and actual
    12 pages dedicated to venue details
    Entertainment ideas
    Guest list (names, contact numbers, address, day/evening)
    Wedding Party
    Theme boards
    Stationary Ideas
    Save the dates
    Stationary tracker
    Photo checklist
    Photographer details
    Band and DJ details
    Playlist
    Cateres/Menu
    Dress
    Transportation 
    Flowers..

    ETC
    And that is only half of the book. 
    I love it. 

    I LOVE IT.

  • Oh my god that planner is gorgeous!!! 

    We only viewed 2 venues but i went with a checklist, i think i found one online that just had loads of questions, but things will pop up while youre there too! 

    Its different for everyone, but think about the boring stuff too, like is there access for those that cant walk as well if its needed? will there be space to dance? Are the loos close to the main area? silly i know but better to think about it now. You wont appear neurotic dont worry!!

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