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Hi everyone!

Got engaged in October and my fiancé and I have always talked about getting married abroad.
We are already having a few discussions about who to invite. We both come from large families and I think it would be best to either invite all our family (125 not including friends) or keep it small and cheap and have immediate family only (total 17) and have a party at home.  That is the reason we will be having it abroad is to keep it cheap.
My fiancé thinks it's okay to be selective about who to invite, whereas I think it's rude. Can I have your opinions please? I am at a loss



  • We aren't having a wedding abroad, but we have decided (for various reasons) to marry in a small private registry office ceremony with only my 16 year old daughter with us. We are having a party 3 days later to celebrate with family and friends. All of our nearest and dearest have understood our plans and support our decision.

    Remember, your wedding is about the two of you and what you want. Keep that in mind when you are deciding who to invite. It doesn't mean you love these people any less xx 
  • I think you invite exactly who you want there, regardless of etiquette or "rules". If youre close to some of the more extended family but not others, its ok to invite one aunt and not another, or draw the line at cousins. 

    You really shouldn't have to fake a smile to anyone on your day, and thats where you start ruling people out! 
  • I'm getting married abroad in June and we have only invited who we really wanted there. Also bear in mind that not everyone you want to go will be able to afford to join you etc. so you won't have the exact number you're predicting either. It's your wedding so don't just invite people to please others! Having it abroad gives you a great excuse as well x
  • wedscotwedscot Posts: 43 New bride
    We are getting married in Scotland in May, where we had our first holiday together. We are just having 9 guests and then we are having a wedding reception near home in July, but less formal - no speeches, etc. Just a meal and disco. It's your day - so there are no rules, only what your and your groom to be want for your celebrations.
    Our planning thread here
  • Congratulations on your engagement!

    I have mixed opinions on weddings abroad, but it is only my opinion.  

    I'm all for weddings abroad which are a meaningful / magical location for the bride and groom, for example, my MOH is getting married in Portugal in May, she's holidayed in Portugal since she was a little girl and they have continued to go there each year (sometimes twice a year) as a couple.  Obvious location for them and I didn't hesitate to confirm my attendance.  Their wedding would roughly cost them the same if it was in the UK.

    Where I'm not all for weddings abroad is when the main driver is to make it cheaper for the bride and groom, but then it's costly for their guests.  For example, if you decided to get married in Las Vegas and guests would need to pay around £2000 realistically to attend.  

    I would also think that if you want it to be cheaper than in the UK, you would need to keep the numbers small, otherwise, it would work out as just the same, wouldn't it?  The other thing you need to think about is who do you really want there and what kind of pressure would this put on them?  Are they likely to be saving for a wedding themselves, what if a baby comes along?  Or would you be okay if your BFF couldn't make it?

    I hope you don't think I'm being negative, and I do believe that your wedding day should be the way you want it, but I also believe that that shouldn't put on the guests too much.
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride

    Invite the people YOU want there. Don't invite anyone just because you feel you should/have to/are vaguely related.

    Just write a list of all your favourite people in the world, and invite them. It's not rude to not invite people that you have no meaningful relationship with. I'm not even inviting some of my half & step siblings.

    A wedding with over 125 guests isn't going to be cheap wherever you have it, though.

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