Planning a wedding in 11 months!

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  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 691 New bride
    I agree with MrsC. Invite everyone you want to be there and if anyone declines say "I'm sorry you feel that way. I thought my wedding would be important enough to you that you could put aside your differences for a few hours. I'm disappointed, because I really wanted you there, but if you don't feel you can do that then it's your decision." Alternatively, have a friends-only wedding and only invite the family who know how to behave like adults!
  • MrsRendall2BMrsRendall2B Posts: 714 New bride
    I'm with @OmRum on this one - the wording of that response to any declines is spot on! 

    You shouldn't have to choose between anyone, just choose who you want to share your special day with. End of. I know that's much easier said than done though! But at the end of the day, they're all adults capable of making their own decisions and all you can do is control your reaction to those decisions. It's a sucky situation but don't let yourself be sucked into it any more than you already are. 
  • AliceJAliceJ Posts: 18 New bride
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this stress. Families can be right pains. As others have said, invite everyone you want to and explain that you would love them there. It's then their choice and they will miss out if they decide to let arguments get in the way. So sorry your dad doesn't feel able to come for even a bit. Unfortunately we can't change others behaviours. Make sure you have lots of more positive and supportive people around you to  help you enjoy the wedding planning process so it's fun! 
  • Thank you all for your advice, I think I've got a tricky few months of everyone moaning at me about it but you are all right, I need to just ignore them and let them decide for themselves what they want to do.

    In other news I went wedding dress shopping yesterday!
    This is something that I have been dreading and unsure about, I am normally a size 16-18 and very self conscious of my size, I know I'm not huge by any means but definitely feel bad about myself and all my mum does is comment on how much weight I have put on over the past few years (I used to be a size 10).

    So I decided I needed to just get on with it and bite the bullet and try some dresses on and just see how it goes. I had no idea what to expect or what I was looking for. I took my mum and MIL 2 be with me, it was the first time they had met and my H2B came for the journey then went on his own suit shopping mission. We went to Wed2b because I've heard lots of good things about them and how they take all the pressure off to buy and they are affordable. 
    Well I was not disappointed in their service, they were so welcoming and lovely, I had this lovely assistant who made me feel so at ease. When we were alone in the dressing room I told her about how I was worried about comments my mum would make because she always talks about my weight and that I was dreading putting any dresses on. She was so understanding and just made everything very easy. I tried on 6 dresses in total and my mum managed to not comment on my weight in front of me but did pull a face at every dress. The only dress that she liked was a big princessy one that made me feel huge and much bigger than I actually am. I won't be going for that style!
    I did find a shape that I like, I felt that a fit and flare suited me best because it hugged me in all the right places. I could have easily bought one of the dresses but didn't want to buy on my first shopping trip, at least now I know what I want and more importantly what I don't want.
    We then met back up with H2B and had lunch together. This was where MIL2B escaped for a cigarette and I don't blame her, my mum is full on and does not stop talking, whereas MIL2B is more laid back and quiet. I then later found out that my mum every time I was in the dressing room was very negative about me and said a lot of horrible comments, MIL2B would not specify what but told my H2B that she felt uncomfortable and was just sat there praying that I couldn't hear anything (I couldn't, some kind of magic curtains that keep voices out!). But it has made me really really want to know what she was saying because now I don't know if I have been a bit delusional in what I saw when I was in front of the mirror. MIL2B is far too nice to give any negative comments!
    But ultimately I will be going on many more dress shopping trips without the dreaded feeling, and next time I will take some of my girly friends and then I can hopefully get some useful advice!

    Haha again I've done a very long post, sorry everyone! But I'm sort of using this as a place to put all of my thoughts and feelings and something to look back on. And if anyone wants to give advice along the way then I will always accept it willingly! As I'm sure you have all realised by now I don't exactly have the greatest support network around me so gotta talk about my plans somewhere!
  • MrsRendall2BMrsRendall2B Posts: 714 New bride
    Sorry to hear your mum was making negative comments behind your back :neutral: on the one hand I guess it's kinda nice she didn't say them to your face and ruin the experience? On the other hand, if there was constructive feedback in there, it could've been useful.

    I'd say go without your mum next time and just take your girl friends. You'll get the kind of feedback you need without the negativity :)
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,599 New bride
    I think that should be the first and last shopping trip you take your mum on. The assistants won't tell you something looks good if it looks awful, and being bitchy and negative is in no way constructive. I had a great experience at Wed2B too, and they don't want you walking out in something you look awful in, as it's not good advertising for them!
  • Hi, planning a wedding in 11 months is easy IF you will use wedding timeline. It is very useful because you are unable to forget something important. On weddingforward by the way you can find plenty timelines on any taste. 
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