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Bridesmaid options/help?

Hi all,

I wondered if you might be able to help with a dilemma I have for my upcoming wedding and probably the only stress I’m facing..who to have as my bridesmaids!

I have been a bridesmaid now 4 times and I have individual close friends rather than a big friendship group. If I were to have my close friends and not upset anyone I would end up with 7 or 8 of them which is too much! (I’m having a small day and I’m really determined to make it relaxed and chilled!)

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can include all my close friends in my planning/day but without having half my guests walking up the aisle! I was thinking of having my cousin as my main bridesmaid and then involving my other friends in some way but not necessarily putting everyone in dresses. I want to make sure they know how much they mean to me and my day but without the show of it all! 

Any advice welcome! X


  • why dont you have your cousin as bridesmaid and explain to the others that you want them to be involved with the hen do planning/going with you to other wedding activities but you cannot affoard to have any of them as bridesmaids and that you are having a small wedding.  Trust me Bridesmaids DO NOT DO MUCH on the day/run up to the wedding.  It is your day and your day to decide on everything.  
  • Hi @bride2471 I faced the exact same dilemma as you when I got married last year. I'd been bridesmaid 4 times and only wanted one of those 4 to be mine. Like you, I had about 7-8 girls that I felt I should ask and it was too many. In the end I chose the 4 girls that I was genuinely closest too, thought would get on best together as a group, be the most supportive, and really wanted. I definitely made the right decision and was happy with it. i involved the others by having 2 as witnesses (and my husband also chose 4 groomsmen plus 2 witnesses, as our registrar was happy for us to have 4 people sign the marriage Cert)... I had 1 sing a song (luckily she's an amazing singer), 1 I had her little boy as a page boy, and I had 2 do readings... so did feel everyone was involved... and i listed them all in the programme and the roles they had played. Hope that helps :)
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 218 New bride
    Ah bridesmaids are so tricky aren't they?! I am lucky enough to have about 10 girls I would have loved to be bridesmaids, but I knew I only wanted five max. My way of deciding was to think about them in terms of who  couldn't imagine NOT being a bridesmaid, and that left me with five pretty easily. Two of the others I felt particularly bad about, so I asked one to get involved with planning the hen and she was so happy about it. The other I have asked to do a reading at the ceremony :)
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