Forum home Your planning threads

My mum wants me to travel with my stepdad

Hi everyone, I need some advice as this is really starting to play on my mind! So, my mum & dad have been divorced almost 20 years & my mum has been with her now husband for 18 years so we have basically grew up with him. But I am also extremely close to my real dad. Both my stepdad & dad have both contributed a significant amount of money towards my wedding. I’m not having a traditional church wedding, I’m having it in a country manor type building but I did want to keep It in a way traditional. So I will be getting ready on the morning at my mums house with all my bridesmaids, I have hired a limo to take them to the venue which I was planning on going in too with them to keep costs down. Since my stepdad has given me some money for the wedding my mum has told him to book us a car, like a rolls Royce type for me & my stepdad to travel to the wedding together in & he is all for this. My mum didn’t discuss it with me first! I would prefer to just go with my bridesmaids as I would feel massive guilt in going to the wedding with my stepdad & not my real dad who I’m much closer with. If I was to go with any of them I would choose my real dad but my mum has now made this impossible. I just feel awful towards my dad & keep thinking of how he’s going to feel. He is the one giving me away but I don’t want him to feel like I have picked my stepdad over him. My mum can’t see my issue & keeps saying it will be nice to travel with my stepdad as it involves him in our wedding. It’s not an option for the 3 of us to go together as him & my stepdad don’t get on at all & it would make it even more awkward for me. Please help, any advice is much appreciated! Thank you! 


  • Pisces91Pisces91 Posts: 216 New bride
    edited 14 March
    Just put your foot down and say that it's a lovely offer and you're very grateful but you'd like to travel with your bridesmaids as you'll be getting ready with them.

    Your stepdad didn't have to contribute financially to your wedding and a financial contribution is a gift, not buying the opportunity to make decisions. Is there a way you have included your stepdad in celebrations to maybe soften the blow? A reading or something?

    And honestly, they should be putting their feelings away and being civil on your special day. I have step parents, etc. too and although some people don't really like each other, they've always put their feelings to one side at important events.
  • GallaGalla Posts: 112 New bride
    To play devils advocate, I see it a bit from the other side. Your dad is walking you down the aisle, so he is involved. Your step dad, who helped bring you up, travels there with you then hands you over to your dad. So step dad is involved too. 

    Ultimately it is up to you though. If you really don’t want to do it, speak to him. I’m sure he’ll understand. 
Sign In or Register to comment.