We did it our way

Ah where to start, ok, me and the hubby met at uni almost 8 years ago, I was 22 & a single mum to an almost 5yo at the time, he had just turned 19. It started as a friendship that blossomed into love (although he says he knew from the first time he seen me that I was who he was going to spend the rest if his life with the sop) it almost wasn't though as I was weary of his age & me having a kid already & after he asked me out over good old man & I knocked him back I took a chance after pinning for him over the Christmas break. Love blossomed quickly when we gave it a go.

After 15 months together we had the unexpected news of tiny feet joining us, he at the time wanted to get married but I said no, he never asked just assumed that we should as I was having his baby.  Along came dd2 and life carried on.

A few years later we decided to have another baby & in Dec 2012 we found out another was on the way image this time I wanted to get married not long after the baby was due so we booked up to get married in Oct-2013 on inchcolm island in the fifth of the fourth in Scotland, after a stormy argument while pregnant that was cancelled (never make important decisions while pregnant lol) life went on but I did regret cancelling it always afterwards. We never got around to planning another & as it still stands today he has never asked me formally to marry him.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    The Proposal

    Like I said he has still never formally asked to marry me, no big proposal, no engagement ring, the second due mainly to my instance I wanted no diamonds! For this girl they are most definitely not my best friend they are boring & common lol I wanted an amethyst ring as it's my favourite colour birth stone, he was finally getting swayed to my thinking when life went poop.

     

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Circumstances change

    You can't always make lemonade when life throws you lemons! In August last year my world crumbled when my dad was diagnosed with stage 4adays mouth & throat cancer. It made us re-evaluate what was important to us and we decided then that yeah we really did want to get married, the Dr's at the time were hopeful surgery would help so instead of hurrying it through we thought positive and prayed for a good outcome for my dad's treatment with a view to him being there this year when he had recovered some. First surgery at the beginning of October seemed successful till soon grafts didn't take infection set in, a barrel of more surgeries followed but results were showing they cleared all the cancer.

    Finally 2 weeks before Christmas my dad left hospital after weeks in hospital, there was still a long road to recovery though but still hopeful wee remained. In February his health went down hill, more tests showed the cancer was back, aggressive & no more that could be down other than to keep him as comfortable as possible. My world was crushed, me and my other half talked & decided to marry as quick as we possibly could with finances/time etc. We wanted to make as many happy memories as we could in the time left, first up we booked my youngest christening, the day came for it at the end of March & unfortunately my dad wasn't well enough to attend so we visited him afterwards, that day we confirmed our wedding date with the priest for the 2nd May, just 6 weeks time from then.

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Asking Permission

    As much add the other half never asked me to marry him he did want to be proper and ask my dad's permission for my hand in marriage. Think he was in talking with him for about an hour that day! It would also turn out to be the last conversation that my other half and dad ever had. Of course he gave him happily and freely, he also told my other half things to tell me on my wedding day if he weren't able to be there.

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Date confirmed, telling my dad

    On the 2nd April we finally had everything needed to book the date with the registry office, 1 day later & we wouldn't have had enough time lol we cut it down to the wire with only the needed 29 days noticed needed in Scotland for a marriage, as soon as I had the date confirmed and paid for the notices I headed down to tell my dad the news, to say he was shocked was an underestimation I mean it was only 3 days before my other half asked his permission to marry me in the first please. He was also completely over the moon for us both and even more so when he found out we were getting married in a church, were not an overly religious family but I knew it would mean more in a church to him (& us evidently in the end) than if it were by a registrar, it was also the cheapest option for us! I asked my dad that day to give me away & he cried as I did, he was so proud & said he would be honored to do so, I left him the note that they gave me for when I'd to collect our schedule, he was so happy that day it's one I'll always remember. 

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Telling the rest of our families

     

    Well telling mine went well, my dad was over the moon & excited for us at getting married, as was my mum & sister, my gran & aunts/uncles/cousins that I'm in contact with (family illnesses/time of stress can bring out the worst in people!) My friend were excited too, his family well that was something else!

    He told his mum, dad & sister the day after we booked the wedding, I was fixing the handbrake cable in the car as it had broken on the way there when he went in & told them, when I joined them in the house a few minutes later they never said a word to me, I didn't even know he had told them until after we left!  That never changed over the next few weeks either, I left invites for them in our daughter's changing bag 2 weeks later for his parents, sister, brother & his partner when I got home after collecting them they were still in the bag! How flipping rude, I was annoyed & he was beyond that with them. I texted his brother to say I'd left his wedding invite there during the day (before I knew they never took them from the bag even though they were told they were there) his reply was to what wedding? Even though he stays in the same house as my partners mum, dad & sister not one of them told him we were getting married, when asked why it was apparently none of their business to say! My partner hadn't thought to tell him with everything else that was going on in between then with my dad having suddenly passed away. His brother wasn't too pleased at the such short notice, it was rushed, slapdash & in a message to my partner shouldn't be fine to fill a dead man's dying wish, he never thought that it was something WE wanted to do not for anyone else, but for US. 

    I'm actually still really annoyed at their attitude towards it all, only his gran was genuinely pleased for us on his side of family as were all his mates from work.

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    My world came crashing down

    A call at 3:30am is never a good one, the one on the 7th April was the worst of my life as my gran called to say my dad was gone. He had peacefully passed away in his sleep, just hours before he had been laughing & joking with friends, telling everyone at how happy & excited he was for us & that he was going to get to walk me down the aisle, hours later his body wrecked from cancer gave up the fight in his sleep. My only comfort was that he was now at peace and no longer in constant pain. The next few days were a haze of organising his funeral & dealing with day to day life for 3 kids.  All the time feeling as if someone ripped out my heart. We laid my dad to rest in Friday the 10th April.  Me and my partner spoke about what to do with the wedding, we spoke to family too decided that it was still going ahead on the date as planned, my dad knew we were getting married, he knew where and when so that's what we done.  In alongside my dad was the note I'd given him about our wedding, I placed his invite alongside him too, he was also wearing the outfit he initially got to wear to our youngest christening but never got to wear it to it & was going to wear while giving me away at the wedding too, it was a suit destined in the end to be the only thing he never got a chance to wear, the pocket square which matched his tie became my something blue. 

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Getting back into planning

    Trying to get back into organising things for the wedding after my dad dying was so hard. It was also a relief in some ways as I had something else to focus on and get me out of bed each day. First up I had to organise invites to our guests so they knew where and when it was going to be. Our budget was pretty much non existent so a lot was diy, invites were first on that list! Invites from b&m bargains at 10 for 39p, paper dollies, double sided tape & ribbon later along with ideas from pintrest (my new best friend for ideas) I had 30 invites printed out & made up for our guests for a grand total of £15. 

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    The letter to my dad on the back of his invite x

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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    This was the note I gave my dad the day I told him I was getting married & asked him to walk me down the aisle, it was in his pocket when he passed away & I placed it in his pocket with him in his coffin.

     

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Outfits

    Well these were easy, I had my dress already I bought in a sale the year before for £37 from lindybop, it was a gold satin Ophelia 50s style tea dress. The petticoat was a plum one which I bought using some of the money my dad gave me for my 30th birthday in February (I had strict instructions to spend it on myself) it cost £25 again from lindybop. My shoes I bought about 3 years ago, I had never worn them as I knew what I wanted them for when I seen them, they were a grand sun of £5 from a charity shop, they were never worn with stickers still on saying they were £50 from Dorothy Perkins! Total bargain & I love them still. I veil from eBay, hair slide from pound land, under wear from matalan, earrings from primark & my whole outfit cost I total of £87. I did also splurge £30 on new make up on top of that mainly as I never wear any so didn't have any suitable, it should have been more but money off vouchers and 3 for 2 in boots saved me nearly £20.

    The other half at first didn't want to tell me his plans on his "costume" till he struggled to find things he wanted to wear. New boots, a kilt, kilt pin, a sporran & chain, shirt, tie, pocket square, waistcoat later his outfit cost more than mine at around £160.

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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    My outfit bits x

     

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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    My shoes, on the back of the left foot I made a charm with a picture of my dad in it, the photo was taken a few years earlier outside the church I was getting married in so seemed apt to use that one. I placed it on my left foot as reference to my dad being a leftie, the only one in the family too. It was so that my dad could still walk with me down the aisle note that he couldn't be there in person to do it.

     

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Bridesmaid flower girls

    I wasn't having any bridesmaids and maid of honor, I had my youngest 2 as my flower girls and my eldest as my bridesmaid/person to give me away. I couldn't find anything in a colour I liked for them so decided to make their dresses, the material came from a dusty pink king sized bed sheet from asda at £7 with a plum contrasting sash which the material cost £2 for in hobbycraft. I was making my eldest in people with a pink ribbon contrast until about 2am the night before/day of the wedding when trying to finish it she refused to wear it making I had then to go buy an outfit on the morning of the wedding! Luckily found a nice blush pink dress in new look that was perfect for £20. The dresses I made my younger 2 daughter's turned out fantastic & were so easy to make.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Rings

    After weeks of looking we both finally found rings we liked, he went with a tungsten ring with Celtic Dragon design etched on, he works in Scotland's largest nightclub as security so a ring that would stand up to the roughness of the job at times was ideal, the tungsten won't bend our scratch. I trolled shops & online until I finally found a perfect ring on Amazon of all places. His ring cost £18 & mine was £44 for a 9st gold band with leaf design & diamonds. Another bargain.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Readings

    It took a while to decide on the readings for our wedding, with it being a Catholic wedding we needed one old testament, psalm, new testament & gospel.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Psalm  145 x

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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     Second reading, Corinthians

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Gospel reading Matthew 19:3-6

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Venue

    That was an easy choice, we were getting married in our local church so decided to hire the church hall out for our small reception, we weren't having a full day & night reception mainly just a few hours for food, drinks & good conversations with close family and friends. Our wedding was at 1pm and our reception was booked until 6pm at that point we were leaving for a night away without our kids in the Dakota hotel in south Queensway.  The church hall fitted into our vintagey/tea party theme going on with it's lovely high ceilings with dark wooden brandys and fresh painted cream walls. We added some table covers in our colours & bunting on the wall for decoration, I made centerpieces from empty jars with lace & ribbon on then sat on paper dollies. Every other table had small jars with tea lights in the others had larger ones with flowers in (a stem each of a pinky coloured chrysanthmum and a hyacinth stem in blue/purple) hall hire & decoration cost around £130. We added balloons too which were placed 1 at each end of a table, they were actuary ordered to go on the kids goody bags which I never got around to doing, the balloons cost very little as I used to work with the company that provided them. Although very simple it was just the way we wanted it, not too fussy just enough.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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    Cutlery on the buffet table was placed in these cute boxes wrapped in a dollie & tired with twine x

     

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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     The jars for centre pieces after I made them with tea lights in them, the larger ones had flower in on the day like in the pic above this next to the cute little box with cutlery in. The flowers for the centre pieces cost a total of £5 from aldi! If I'd wanted them from florist in sure they would have been a geek of a lot more.The jars cost nothing, the lace & ribbon trim was glued on & cost about £10 all in, the tea lights I had already.

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Cake

    Cake is what I do for a living, well what I done I took maternity leave after my youngest but never really went back to it only for friends & family, I planned on taking a year out but by the time it came to going back to it so much other stuff was going on I never got around to it. As I was doing it myself I wanted it to be simple, I also wanted it to be big but with only a small wedding didn't need a huge cake so there was 2 tiers of cake (the largest was a vanilla sponge & second smallest a traditional fruit cake) the rest were polystyrene dummies. I pawned over pics for ideas for weeks, in the end I went with something so simple as I didn't have time for anything else. 5 tier ivory/cream cake with bunting, lace & ribbon trims. I had fresh pink roses for on top & sprigs of a rose/greenery between each tier to add on the day but left them at home in the rush to remember everything, one of the many smash things that seemed so important before but made no difference on the day itself. In the end the cake was far from perfect, nothing I'd have given to a client as it was never finished but fitted in perfect for us.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Flowers

    I'm not a flower person at all, I hate the smell of them to be honest so initially I was going to get artificial ones, the prices of them shocked me. I also decided I wanted something delicate, classy, simple and I couldn't get that in artificial ones, they were too big/colourful/blogger and never fitted in with the image I had in my head so off to pintrest I went to look for ideas. I came across gypsophollia bouquets and they were perfect! Local florists wanted about £30 for 2 bouquets so I decided to once again to go it myself, it cost £9 for both in the end for the flowers, tape, lace & ribbon on the stems. They turned out exactly how I wanted them, I also went with fresh flowers in the end up for another reason, I placed them on my dad's grave after the reception before we went away for the night, the smaller bouquet my daughter had went on my grandad's grave, they both also got the flowers from the centerpieces split between them. I never remembered to take a photo of the flowers themselves only really have ones where I'm holding them and this one beside the cake where I left them during the day.

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  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

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    My daughter and myself with the flower bouquets I made while she gave me away x

     

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Food and drink

    To keep costs down we decided on a hot & cold buffet to feed our guests rather than a sit down meal, we were doing this ourselves too. We were also having a welcome drink for everyone coming in to the reception after the ceremony, we decided to put in food that we liked so we drew up a list of foods we wanted, we had sandwiches, wraps, cold meat platters, salad, pasta, homemade coleslaw, homemade chilli con carne with wraps, chicken & veg pakora, pizza, and hot dogs. To say the went down well was an underestimation there was barely anything left, other than me & my partner no one went hungry (we were too busy getting photos, talking to guests etc to eat much) we also had a sweet table which was a bigger hit with the adults than the kids especially the huge tub of flying saucers, kids & adults couldn't get enough of them. We didn't really know what to do for drinks so decided on a range in the end, we had white & rose wine, bottles of magners, bottles of Budweiser, cans of coke, irn bru, diet irn bru, bottles of fruit shoots and diluted juice, all of which seemed to go down well, a few of the guests weren't drinking as they were unfortunately working that night (mainly his friends from work, small company & a bank holiday weekend meant it wasn't possible for then to have the time off).

    I made the food up with a little help from my mum on the morning of the wedding, up at 7:30am & straight into the kitchen prepping salads, pasta, coleslaw, sandwiches etc the chilli was in the show cooker from the night before so was ready to go & other than having to go buy pizzas from the deli counter in asda that morning we were good to go food wise, took about 3 hours to do it all! It was all puked into the car boot so that when I got to the wedding later it could be brought out to be served, I must say I have amazing friends that death with heating up & serving out the buffet!  

    In total good & drink cost us £220 catering for 50 guests! 

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Transport

    We live about a 5 minute walk away from the church & reception venue, my partner stayed with his gran the night before & his brother picked them up & took them to the church. I drove myself and my mum up to it, my friends had taken my girls up before hand, didn't see the point in hiring a car for what would have been about 5 minutes, the priest was highly amused when I drove up in my 54 plate Renault megane with broken front wing (it had an argument with a fence & is waiting to be fixed lol) and a boot full of buffet food. To be honest I was glad to have something else to focus on before getting to the church and knowing I had to walk down the aisle with everyone watching & praying I didn't trip up as I'm a clumsy bugger at waking in heels.

    I needed the car anyway as we were driving to our hotel after the reception, before we left my friends decked it out with banners & balloons, there was no missing us leaving the church although had to do a quick stop once away from then to remove most of it so it didn't go flying while driving along the motorway. I don't think anyone tight to take a picture then though.

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Hair and make up

    I had booked a friend to come & do my hair,  much to hubby's unrest,  he loves my hair curly & really didn't want it messed up,  I was only planning on a half up/half down style with curls not exactly rocket science! Anyway he got his wish of me having to do it myself as my friend had to bail out as his work needed him in,  another thing to add to the list of diy items.  Funnily enough on the day itself I wouldn't have had time to sir let someone fix if,  I got out the shower and left it to dry off as I got ready,  stuck some argan oil in it,  done a quick half up do I seen on you tube & curled off the front with my fingers,  spritzed with some hair spray,  it actually stayed in lovely that day against the odds as it would usually turn into a frizzy bomb site. I had bought a lovely diamanté slide to wear in it as well but couldn't find it from its safe place on the day,  I had a veil on for the ceremony & most of the reception so it wouldn't have been seen well for where I wanted it placed anyway. 

    Make up was my big "me" worry as I rarely wear any, thankfully an amazing assistant on the beauty counter for no 7 in boots helped sort me out,  she totally got the look I wanted,  colour matched my foundation,  helped me pick out an awesome plum lip stick,  some water proof matched (that would be a must! ) I had eye shadows, eye liner,  powder & blush at home so that was me sorted,  even better on 3 for 2 and a discount voucher helped bring the cost down. On the morning it took a few attempts to get my eye liner right,  vintage flicks are what I wanted but unsteady hands made that interesting to do. It was the make up (&some missing car keys) that late for my own wedding! By a whole 20 minutes eek I did not plan that. 

  • cookieboo28cookieboo28 Posts: 102

    Order of service's

    These were the basin of my existence on something I had to do,  it took the priest until 6 days before the wedding to give me the order he runs the mass on & some sample ones from previous weddings to look at.  Took me hours to type them up on the laptop,  I sat up until 5am one morning printing them it & assembling them only for the hunt to come in after work at half 5 & realise there was 2 typos! My best man was now called crain instead of Craig and day in the words of one of the hymns was changed to dad,  I had to bin those,  Fix the mistakes & start all over again! I cried over lost sleep & hours wasted. Printed them out again that morning which took over an hour then had less than an hours sleep before u had all run to do & assemble the new ones again.  They did turn out lovely in the end but if I ever see another one again it will be too soon! 

     

    Rehearsal

    The Thursday before the wedding we had our rehearsal,  it went well & knowing exactly how it would run out us both at ease plus we heard the exact wording we would be saying to each other as well as we had came across different versions online.  We were now on the home stretch! 

     

     

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