Negatives

This thread is an appendix, if you like, of my full report. I am taking a moment to pause my thread to follow in the footsteps of many brides before me to do a quick summary of the very few lows (and minor) of the day. But I have made the slightly odd decision to put this part on this separate thread.

This is because over the wedding week a number of people found out that I have been writing my thread and plan on doing a report, and they have shown an interest in reading it. I know also for sure that Ollie wants to read it. I feel that my words about my negative memories are for me only and do not want them to be read by anyone that knows me, whilst I do feel it might be beneficial for me to share with you fabulous supportive people and I hope that it also might help you avoid similar experiences.

I would like to ask you all to kindly avoid "quoting" any of my posts on this thread as I will eventually delete it as I am keen for there to be no permanent memory of it on the world wide web. Xxx

Posts

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    I am actually writing this ion the day we got back from honeymoon as to be honest, a lot of these negatives were almost forgotten by the end of our time away in paradise. Part of me doesn’t want to write about them and resurface the bad stuff, but I feel like I should write them down and get the off my chest for good, so I can focus on all things positive going forward in the report.

    First, the group photos took a lot longer than we thought they would. 

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    Second

    Thirdly

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    4

     

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    The final one

  • Hi Jenni

    I think that for those of us whose day is still to come having a bride prepared to lay out some of their negative experiences for us is hugely helpful and I like to think I speak for all the lovely ladies here when I say that we totally respect your desire for privacy/non-quoting.

    Xx

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    Additionally

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    Thank you so much Mrsseebe that means a lot

  • Aw Jenni - honestly the drinks token thing would have driven me crackers. So would the entrance music, we've been planning ours for ages and need to enter at 1:00 - if someone skipped that and went straight to the crescendo I'd be gutted too.

    I think with most of it the frustration had to be that you planned it all out so carefully and made sure it had been communicated clearly, and it still didn't get done as you wanted. This is exactly what I worry about!

    xx

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Oh Jenni, I completely understand why you are annoyed. You planned it to perfection, gave clear instructions and they weren't followed. As for your mother in law, well they are just a law to themselves! 

  • SarahNov17SarahNov17 Posts: 160

    Thank you for sharing the negatives Jenni. its completely understandable why you got annoyed and upset. You planned and planned, and people didnt follow it to the T. I hope by writing it down now you feel a bit more relieved and better about it x

  • MrsG2bxxMrsG2bxx Posts: 868

    Jenni, I have negatives too and I am planning to write them after my report.  I have also had quite bad 'wedding blues' which I am also planning to write about. 

    I know its horrible but I for one take great comfort in knowing that it isn't only me who feels things went wrong after planning such a perfect day.  There will be so many, I am sure, who will be grateful you have been so honest and shared this.  I can also totally sympathise with the photograph issue, I have real sadness over a few missed photograph opportunities and it doesn't help that my mum and a few other family members feel that's all they can talk about now that the day is over.

    I completely understand your wish for no quotes and respect them fully xxx

  • Mrs17Mrs17 Posts: 775 New bride

    Jenni I really feel for you giving such clear thought out instructions, and then having them neglected/misunderstood on the day! That must be so frustrating!!!

    Completely understandable why these things have annoyed/upset you. I sympathise regarding missed photo opportunities. I gave my photographer a list of the photos I wanted taken on the day and was told to cut it down as obviously we would have all the 'usual' shots anyway. As a result I feel like we missed several shots I really wanted, which really got my down at first, but I've told myself that we have the rest of our lives to take these photos together (it stops me getting hung up on it!)

    I hope none of this reflects your overall feeling on the day - I hope it was still an incredible day.

  • Hi Jenni, really brave to post the negatives of the wedding. In a way that I hope doesn't sound awful, as someone else who had negatives at their wedding it is good to know I am not alone! I think we are led to believe it's a perfect day of total happiness and actually there are ups and downs at most weddings.

    Glad to hear that the main feeling you have from the day is positive, and can't wait to read more on your main thread  x

  • I cried for days after our wedding mix of blues and being hacked off at the things that didn't go to plan...but 7 weeks later I look back and think it was the BEST day / weekend ever. I got a lovely thank you from a friend last week saying that her and her husband talk about our fairytale wedding every day and they are so glad we are part of their lives. It made me realise that only I was annoyed and thought things had been ruined.

    Great idea writing a report and getting it off your chest

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,135 New bride

    Great idea to get it off your chest. I can't sympathise as I am only at the start of my planning journey but I've hosted other events where things haven't gone to plan and you do in hindsight just laugh it off. If it is any consolation the negatives are things that I bet none of your guests would have noticed. And if your brother was being an idiot then maybe it's nice you have a photo of people who were supportive and lovely on the day not including him anyway- just try and make a point of getting one of you all together for your Mum if another occasion does arise. I'm sure it was a fabulous day, by the sounds of it your guests were having a ball an probably wouldn't have heard or appreciated the dramatic entrance music over their cheering anyway! 

  • Lexi90Lexi90 Posts: 971

    Ah Jenni, the drinks tokens would be my worst nightmare. I can understand photocopying if one was missing, but how did she think around 40 were missing! God you think they would check. 

    Sorry to hear some people were annoying on the day, I don't know why people can't see that things they do sometimes aren't acceptable at places like weddings! 

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    Thanks for sharing Jenni. Like you, I've provided suppliers with detailed info, so you do expect when you go to that effort that they will do exactly as you asked!

     

  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    Hi jenni lovely. I have been feeling extremely anxious about the wedding (and a bit of work stress) the past week. It is honestly SO useful for me to read a true account where little things did go wrong but it wasn't the end of the world, rather than these reports which claim the day was 100% perfect cause I just think that's so unlikely! I hope it has given you some closure by writing them out and on a different thread so that your beautiful report isn't tainted. X 

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    I'm anxious about mine too Hails, and also work stress. When I first set out planning, I couldnt see how it could be as stressful as people make out, but the further you get down the rabbit hole the more you realise there is to think about! 

  • Mrs AyseMrs Ayse Posts: 561

    Jenni, thank you for being so honest. It's rare that people talk about the things that weren't as amazing and I for one, am so glad you felt you could so openly and trust in us. Xx

    Hails, Lucykins - I've been the same and only just pulling myself out of it. I wish we had eloped like wild things and never looked back. Xx

  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    Lucy and Ayse - I just feel like the further into the planning you get, you start losing sight of what's important. I'm definitely at the point where anything I have left to sort - e.g. table place cards - I just don't have any enthusiasm! Whereas at the start I would have spent hours agonising what to have. 

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    I know exactly what you mean Hails. My initial plan was to keep things pretty simple and not spend loads, but it's spiralled slightly! I think it makes me feel a bit better if I look at my list of things to do, and just say to myself 'how much would it really matter if this didn't get done'. In most cases, it really wouldn't. 

    I was more enthusiastic with doing things early on, and bought a box frame that I was going to use to do a craft project, but now I can't be bothered so I don't think that'll be used.

     

    Sorry for going totally off topic Jenni! 

  • LakeyLakey Posts: 36

    Thank you OP for your honesty regarding the negatives of your wedding, which seldom get mentioned here on wedding forums but are all too common. I too, fell into the rut of focusing on the negatives. I felt awkward and on show, felt very "wooden" when having my photos done, and my MC was terrible I wish I hadn't bothered. But once I ranted to my now husband and got it off my chest I now look back and say that wedding was the time of my life! Everything else was amazing! i hope you too can move on. it seems you did everything you could and it was other people that let you down. Unfortunately we can't control others actions so you wouldn't have been able to change things.

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