THE REPORT - a bandstand wedding 02/09/17

Hi girls!

After a fabulous three weeks on honeymoon, we made it back home yesterday  and so I thought I'd think of happier things than work on Monday!

The first thing I want to say is accept that something will go wrong on your wedding day and somehow it'll all work out and you just won't care. I used to see people write this and think to myself that all my suppliers are prepped and so nothing could go wrong. Well read on and you'll discover the issues we had! 

The second thing is to choose your wedding party carefully, especially if you are having two venues and therefore no overall coordinator of your wedding. Really think about who will pull through for you on the day and take it seriously and not just want to have a big party. Whilst that's great, at the end of the day, it's about your marriage and just the party. Most (!) of our wedding party were fantastic but in particular our best man was absolutely out of this world and we are forever in his debt.

Right, now I've got the preachy bit out of the way, onto the good stuff! 


INTROS
These were covered in my planning thread but just as a recap:

Bride and groom - Helen and Andy

Background - We met on the graduate scheme at a financial company on the 6th August 2007 and never really looked back. We started rented a house together in April 2009 and then bought our house in July 2013. 

The proposal - I was thinking about proposing on the 29th Feb 2016 with a watch as ever since I've known him, Andy has been killing himself for either an Omega or Tag watch. This went down the pan however when he beat me to it in July 2015! He had tried to propose a few times - the first time he tied the ring around the cat's (aka our baby) neck but having done so, she just sat down. This never happens, she's usually all over me in a morning so he took the ring off for fear of her swallowing it!! That evening we'd decided to have an impromptu BBQ just the two of us and so off he went to get the ring but by the time he came back downstairs, I was asleep on the settee. His final attempt was going to be at a picnic we'd decided to do that weekend but on the thurs I realised I'd double booked and so rather than cancel, I invited our friends to come with us on the picnic. This was the final straw for him and so as I was busy telling him this in bed, he pretty much threw the ring at me with words not dissimilar to 'I'm sick of thinking about this, just take it!!' 

Venues -
Weston Park bandstand following by the reception at Foxholes Farm. We decided we didn't want to get married in a hotel or church and fancied doing something a bit quirky. After thinking about it for a grand total of three days, we booked the bandstand! In our defence, we did a similar thing when we bought our house and so it must be a sign of when we know something is right (sometimes subconsciously), we don't hang around! The bandstand is a totally outside venue with no inside option and so we then spent the next two years worrying about the weather, especially when the 2nd Sept 2016 was utterly dire. We went for a walk in the forest and I remember crying my way around the walk whilst the rain hammered down!

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  • As the week progressed, Andy seemed to turn more and more into groomzilla whereas I turned more into  'whatever happens happens' which was winding Andy up no end. We're both pretty detailed people and so the only thing I can attribute to this is that I had planned this day to the nth degree for the last two years and knew it inside out. Whilst Andy was amazing with all the planning and very rarely complained, he didn't live and breathe it like me and so he was realising he didn't know all the tiny little details and this was stressing him out. He also didn't know what he didn't know if that makes sense. It also wasn't great that I wasn't stressed as I was counting on feeling too nervous to eat that week but ended up eating out most nights, oops!

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,346 New bride

    Yay! The second report of the 2 weddings I want to hear more about has arrived 😁😁 xx

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Yay! Report time! 

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993

    Hoorah! Welcome back Helen hope you had a fantastic honeymoon. Can't wait to read your report.

  • Wibs77Wibs77 Posts: 414

    Yay I have been waiting for this report.

  • Yay can't wait for your report! Hope you had a fabulous honeymoon.

  • YAYYY can't wait to hear all about your wedding. Hope you had a fantastic honeymoon xxxx

  • Awww, shucks you guys!  I'm trying to drag it out a bit as I was a bit premature on my thread. It turns out we only have the sneak preview pics (which is about 100!) plus the guest ones and I'm not sure when we get the rest of the official pics..

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    Woohooo so excited for this Helen - tell your tog to get a wiggle on!

  • WD - 3 DAYS
    We started the day by getting to Sainsburys super early to get flowers for the tables. In the end we only needed to go to the one supermarket which was a real bonus.

    We then had a meeting scheduled with the bandstand at 10 followed by a meeting with the gazebo guy at 1030 in the park and so we went straight from the supermarket and chilled in Starbucks opposite. I was freaking out as the weather app I had been using to track the weather on the Sat was showing as having 20% cloud coverage over the bandstand at that moment when it was more like 100% and so it was a big wake up call for me that the app might not be that reliable! The meeting itself went really well and we dropped most of the stuff off including the drink and just spoke about what would happen on the day. This was when I realised that what I thought was the aisle was only about a fifth of it! It also meant to had to navigate two lots of steps, neither of which had a handrail and were instead decorated down the sides with decorative iron spikes, gulp!! In my final dress fitting, I'd actually tripped over the front of my dress stepping down from the podium and so the fear of face planting the spikes was real!

    The meeting with Mr Gazebo was less good as he seemed a little haphazard. Although I was well and truly in my 'whatever' phase by this point, I could see Andy's head was about to explode. Throughout the conversation, he had quoted three different times when he would arrive on the Sat and so we ended the conversation with telling him the time we needed him there and made it super early! On the day though he was fine and was already there when Andy arrived at the time discussed.

    To rewind a little bit, the ushers suits were due into Debenhams on the bank holiday Monday but they rang us in the day and said they'd got a high demand and so we wouldn't get the full suits until Wednesday. This was fine as long as the suits actually fit! Which brings me onto issue/rant #1...

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993

    Drums fingers..... next please!

  • WD - 3 DAYS CONT

    I mentioned this in my planning thread and so this may be familiar to you. Basically, Andy has a younger brother (lets call him T) who for one reason or another, he's done everything for all his life. Our wedding is the only time I can think of in ten years that I've known Andy where he has asked him to do something for him. Andy had spent a good hour on the Tuesday evening trying to convince T to go and try his suit on the next day and he was basically making up every excuse to not go. He eventually went on the Wednesday but only because he needed to buy a shirt and shoes (don't even get me started on that) and it's a good job he went as the trousers were too small. Another usher (K) also tried his stuff on the Wednesday and the waistcoat was too small and so Debenhams ordered us a load of extra sizes. One of the ushers (N) was coming from America and couldn't try the suit on until Friday and so Debenhams put through a fake order of all his stuff in a size bigger just in case. Debenhams were great in fairness but there was a moment where it was like.. oh s*** nothing fits!!

    Lots more will be mentioned about T over the course of this but lets just say even three weeks later, I'm still really really annoyed by T's attitude towards his brother's wedding. The best man told me last week that he was having a discussion with T about collecting his new suit on Friday and T's response was "I'll get Andy to do it". At which point the best man just said "don't you dare, I'll go" and so the best man, BLESS HIM, drove all the way from Manchester super early in rush hour traffic to make sure he got to Debenhams for opening time.

  • Jenni8 wrote (see post):

    Woohooo so excited for this Helen - tell your tog to get a wiggle on!

    Ha, I'd love to but I feel mean! He had four weddings in eight days and we were the last one . He said to me as he was leaving though that he had taken over five and a half thousand pics at our wedding!

  • Tanya128 wrote (see post):

    Drums fingers..... next please!

    Lol Tanya. I need to re-read your report actually. I was sneakily keeping on top of yours and Jenni's whilst I was away but cannot remember what all my comments were. It looked fabulous though.

  • Come on Mrs I'm in suspense! X

  • WD - 2 DAYS

    The hurricane in the Americas was causing issues with flights over from the US. My uncle lives in LA and was flying over the Wed night and although LA is miles and miles away from Florida, his flight was delayed by 3 hours which meant he would land in Manchester at 2pm instead of 11am. Our schedule should have been take the cat to the cattery, then I would go to the airport and be back in time for my beauty appointment at 2:30 but obviously this wasn't going to happen now. Andy therefore spent most of Thursday driving to various places, I felt a little sorry for him!

    We said bye to our kitty at about 8am as she was going to the cattery for nearly four weeks! So sad. Not strictly wedding related but here's our kitty

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    She came back Saturday and it's like she's never been away.

    Whilst Andy trekked to Manchester, I did exciting stuff like buying him some new pants for the honeymoon, wahoo...! My beautician then turned up and I was beautified like never before! Rubbish picture alert but here were my nails:

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    I also had semi-permenant extra-long eyelashes put on which were fabulous. So fabulous in fact, I spent an hour rubbing olive oil into them last night trying to get them off and a grand total of three fell out! So now I have super glamour eyelashes for work

  • Urghhh I just typed the whole WD - 1 day and lost it all, nooooo!

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993
    Helen225 wrote (see post):

    Urghhh I just typed the whole WD - 1 day and lost it all, nooooo!

    Oh I hate when that happens! Soooo annoying!

  • WD - 1 day

    This is when things really started to become real and we had an hour by hour schedule planned out. We both woke up really early and so decided to go food shopping first as we were feeding around 30 people breakfast over the course of the weekend. I've never been in a supermarket at 7am in my life and I never plan to again! After this though, I had a super important appointment.... to pick my dress up, eeeeek! I have to say, I was expecting a bit more jazz from this, but I was literally in the shop less than a minute and they had packed it in one of those plastic suit carriers that fold in half. It would have been nice to have something a bit more special but then I guess they would then build this into the price and so I'm happy with the plastic! Whilst I was running this errand, Andy went to the barbers to get a 'proper trim'.

    When I got back, the best man was sitting on the doorstep complete with suits, winner, and so we started to pack the cars up ready to go to the reception venue. There was immense planning that went into this as some of the boxes were to go to the band stand and we didn't want to have to take them out of the car to put them back in again and so it was a military operation working out what order etc. We'd almost finished when Andy arrived home and Andy being Andy double checked we'd got everything... good job he did as I'd completely forgotten about the cheese cake in our fridge, whoops! We then set off on our 40 min drive to the reception. I had the guest book mirror strapped in my passenger seat and was terrified the entire way that it would smash but managed to get it there in one piece. We arrived for about 1 and the marque was halfway through being put up and this is when Andy really started to turn into groomzilla. He really was just unbearable for the rest of the afternoon! Ladies, if your man likes to know what's what, make sure a) he's informed and b) you've thought of everything little thing he may ask you cos if you haven't got the answer, his head will explode!!

    I think the first thing that set him off were the caterers. Whilst I don't necessarily agree with Andy's view of them, I definitely see where he's coming from and I'm not overly impressed with their communication skills. Their food was to absolutely die for but I didn't see the main guy once. When we arrived, I had an email saying they'd been to the venue and dropped everything off but the marque wasn't ready so they'd left the table cloths, cutlery, etc. We could either do it ourselves or they would do it Saturday morning, which wasn't really an option in my eyes. I just kinda accepted this in a 'well we can't do anything about it, lets just crack on' (remember my whatever mood?!) whereas Andy hit the roof. Now the caterers do this venue all the time - so much so that they've actually changed the package they offer from 2018 and you have to have this caterer and so they are well aware that the marque is only guaranteed to be up from 5pm and so why you'd turn up before 12 I'll never know. This was then made worse...

     

    EDIT - I found a pic from the photographer that shows off the reception venue!

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  • WD - 1 DAY CONT

    Once we got in the marque, we quickly discovered they had left us square table cloths when we had round tables. Now I hadn't specifically asked for round, I'd just assumed you would get round (why would you supply square for a venue you do all the time that has round?!). They weren't quite big enough to box in the top table and so we just had to kind of drape them and box them in a little bit at the front. On the day it looked absolutely fine but I'm intrigued as to how they would have done it. Obviously this did wonders for groomzilla's mood. So much so that when I realised that I should have been at the florist at 4pm... at 4pm, he had a full on strop at me in the middle of the marque and stomped off. There are some perks to having a sports car... I got to the centre of Sheffield in 12 minutes (it's usually a 30-35 min drive), whilst terrifying my MOH!! Turns out I needn't have worried as she was opening late for someone to pick their flowers up later but I LOVED LOVED LOVED my flowers!

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    By the time we got back, most of the marque had been set up and the guys were ready to escape to town where they were staying overnight. We said goodbye, I didn't really think about making it into a big thing but I guess we ought to have, ah well!

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    The other drama of the day was that we had ordered two local ales - when I say local, I mean the brewery is walking distance from the venue. I had requested two different ones as one would be more popular amongst the guests but the other was Andy's favourite and amongst other questions to the venue, they never answered if we could have two or had to have one. The brewery turned up with three barrels of the guest pleaser one, meaning Andy didn't get what he wanted to drink. He had already spied that we had two pumps and so there was a bit of discussion between Andy, the venue, and the brewery as to why we couldn't have two different beers if we had two pumps and more than one barrel. The venue claimed they had asked for two, the brewery claimed they had only asked for one but in the end they went back and swapped one for Andy's. Phew!

    Whilst the BMs went to the pub, I went to pick my Mum up. It's a 90 minute around trip and so I kept getting phone calls from hungry BMs!! Eventually we got to the pub at about 730 and I consciously ordered a salad, then didn't eat it due to food envy and really wanting a curry!! We all left quite early as I wanted a shower and to just chill! In the end, I couldn't sleep so was texting Andy until 23:59, from which I'd put a text ban in place! I kept loosing Wi-Fi so my last text didn't actually deliver until 00:03, oh no!

  • I didn't see your planning thread but really enjoying your report so far Helen, the view from your reception venue is amazing!!

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993

    Oh gosh the view from your marquee is gorgeous! I lived in/near Sheffield for a while there are some lovely views around there.

  • Thanks girls. The view was what sold it to us to be honest. Neither of us particularly wanted a marque but given the ceremony was outside, we figured we may as well count on a sunny day where people can sit outside and stare at the view! 

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    Oh I must go back and read your planning thread as this is lovely! The view from your marquee is just to die for! Bet the rest of your photos are unreal with that as a backdrop!

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Wow, gorgeous view! 

  • Elz2017Elz2017 Posts: 316

    Glorious venue, this is great! I'm giggling at 'groomzilla', I can see this happening with mine when the time comes... 

  • This is the first time I've heard of groomzilla😂 Wow the view is beautiful and I love your flowers! 

  • oh my gosh it looks gorgeous. Look forward to reading and seeing more.

     

    Congratulations

     

  • And so we get to the WEDDING DAY!!!!

     

    WEDDING MORNING

    With the combination of getting married at 12:30 and not being at the venue where the ceremony was (I stayed at the reception venue), everything seemed super early. My MUA was due to arrive at 06:45 with my hairdressers not too far behind at 08:00. I think I woke up about 5:30, I was awake before my alarm was due to go off at 06:00. BM (F) and MOH were staying in the same cottage in the next room but the first thing I did was knock on the door of BM (H) as she has a two-year old and knew this would be classed as a lie in to her! As predicted, she was awake and dressed.

    The MUA was running slightly late and by the time she arrived at 7, I was already getting texts from the Best Man stressing that they couldn't find the order of the day sign and could I bring it. I was positive it wasn't at the reception but did a quick scout and couldn't find it anywhere and so told him to just lose the easel it was meant to go on and nevermind. I received a text back just saying #mostrelaxedbrideever love you! Ha ha! In the end, it was in his car (where I knew it was all along) and so it was displayed.

    I'd not really thought about the dresses being stretch back and therefore not having a zip and so we decided pretty quickly that it was worth the girls changing into their dresses before their hair or makeup was started - the fabric of the dresses was a nightmare for picking up marks too so it was definitely worth it. My hairdresser managed to smash a cup very close to one of the BMs tho!! Luckily it just went on the floor and somehow I managed to be the only one free to mop it up.

    Our photographers arrived at about 10:15 and busied themselves with various shots and rarely asking anyone to pose. I've got to do a shout out here - Neil and his assistant Matt were absolutely fabulous and almost felt like friends. We're both a little sad that we have no reason to speak to them and want to ring them to just go to the pub lol! Oh the company name would help... Eternal Images Ltd.

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  • WEDDING MORNING CONT

    Lauren and Nic (the hairdressers) already knew that I'd bought the girls some clips to put in their hair and I overheard Nic asking MOH if she'd got something to put in her hair and suddenly realised I had presents to hand out! They each received some hair slip/grips, a bangle with their initial and a love heart, a pair of heart earrings, a personalised vaseline tin, some chocolate truffles and a miniature bottle of flavoured gin. The jewellery in particularly was quite hard as F usually wears quite big statement pieces and smaller pieces can sometimes look lost on her so I did say you don't have to wear any of it today but they all wore the bangle and the earrings.

    The highlight of the morning for me was the 'hay guy' turning up and in a really broad Yorkshire accent coming up to me and being like... right then lass, where do you want these bales? I was trying to explain I wanted them setting up like two settees and he clearly had never done it before as he just looked at me gone out then just went... ah, well, we'll give it a go lass. Just made me chuckle so much. I never saw him again but when I went out later, I found these and was sooooo happy!!! I wish I'd seen him to say thanks.

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    I'll cover the men's morning in a separate post but I want to touch on presents here. I was nervous all morning, not for the wedding, but for the fact I'd gone all out on Andy's present - the Moonwatch by Omega. In the week leading up to the wedding I had become paranoid that someone would let the cat out of the bag and so I was just waiting for that text to say he'd received it... FINALLY at about 10, the best man text and just said... his words were 'fk I need to get her a better present'. Ha!! Turns out he absolutely loves it and even now just keeps pointing at his wrist and is like... check me out, I own an Omega.

    I kinda then prompted MOH for mine (lol) as I didn't want to open it after I'd had my make up done. I also wanted to open it alone and so I went upstairs with a small brown box... I then had to shout MOH as I couldn't get the bow undone and so she ended up opening it with me. Inside was a keyring of a number plate. Both of us were like... has he bought me a keyring or a personalised plate?! I ended up texting the best man to confirm and he had indeed bought me the plates. These need a bit of explaining...! When we bought the sports car, the plate that came with it was just made for me as each bit of it meant something, was mega weird, but the main bit is that it ends in XPX. My Dads name is Peter and so we always said it was my Dad giving me two kisses. So my personalised plate is S2 XPX for 2nd September and my Dad - on the tag he had written 'so your Dad is with you xx'. MOH then burst into tears!!!

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