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Winter on the Waterfront - The Report

Well, I am officially out of patience and have decided to make a start on my report. I don't have the professional photos yet, and were not expecting them until early February, but I have a lot to say about the week leading up to the wedding, and I can go to about 11am on the wedding day without professional pictures.
Generally I don't like it when a report starts and then has to stop for a few weeks, but what can I say I'm a hypocrite, and I have a bad memory, so I'm telling myself that if I don't do it now Ill forget the details!

I'm going to tell the good and the bad as it happened, no sugar coating allowed here.

Brief Introduction

The Bride & Groom
Aimee & Paul

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How We Met
We met almost 10 years ago outside a high security prison. My mum worked there, and Paul had been her partner for 5 months at this point. I had been very happily single for about 6 months and was in no way interested in changing that. Paul had been in a relationship for 4 years and was very unhappy.
We met very briefly, and at the risk of sounding cliché, it was like the universe aligned and we were exactly were we were supposed to be at that moment.
He left his relationship about a week later, and not long afterwards he asked me out, and of course, I accepted.

The Proposal
Pauls proposal was a real anti climax. It took him 6 years and all he could manage was a semi crouch in the dining room of our home on a normal night, with a gruff "marry me". Then he went and posted about it on facebook while I finished my tea alone. I love romantic gestures, especially proposal stories, so I was pretty disappointed with his complete lack of effort.

Paul originally proposed with a blue topaz ring (my birthstone and the rock Id always told him I wanted), but it turned out to be a very awkward shape to go with a wedding band, so he bought me a new, more classic one.

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The Kids
We have 3 children, Charlie, Hazel and Harvey. Harvey was born after the proposal, I got a positive pregnancy test just a few days after getting engaged, which put wedding plans on the backburner slightly!

Wedding Venues
We really wanted to get married abroad. When I was younger I wasn't the type to dream about my wedding day, but one day I browsing my mums far away shores brochure when I saw that destination weddings were a thing. Since then my heart was firmly set on making my vows on a tropical beach with a low backed dress, and just my nearest and dearest watching, followed by a beach BBQ and party.
This wasn't what we got at all. I don't have the organisational capacity to plan anything so far away myself, so we looked into travel agents and put feelers out among potential guests to see who would come.
Our problem was that we had 3 kids. Only certain hotels do the weddings, and of those certain hotels only 2 in  the whole of the Caribbean slept families of 5, and the quote we received for the room and flights was £31000.
We thought about saying one of our kids was sleeping in a room with a guest, but one by one it turned out that the guests couldn't come.
So we decided on an English wedding.

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  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Venues Continued...

    We didn't want to spend silly money, but we didn't want a really low budget wedding, so we began looking for nice but reasonable venues.
    We chose Mercure Atlantic Tower in Liverpool city centre because it had a clean modern look and had a package for £3500 which was about half of what other nice venues were charging.

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    After some deliberation we decided to get married at our local church, St Philips.

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    Date
    We originally booked 22nd April 2017, but had a major wobble and cancelled, wanting to go abroad again. We had a bit of a break from planning, and when abroad was still a pain in the arse, we decided to be cheeky and ask all our suppliers to honour our deposits and let us rebook, which they all did.
    We chose December because Paul was keen on a Christmas wedding. We chose 17th because only sundays were available at Atlantic Tower due to Christmas parties, and the weekend of 17th Paul finished work until after new year.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Monday 11th December - 6 days to go

    Wedding week dawned bright and very, very cold. Minus 3 according to my cars thermometer. This was ideal, because Id booked to get my hair colour done straight after dropping the kids off at school an nursery, only we ended up running 20 minutes late because the car was frozen absolutely solid, I couldn't even get the doors open!

    After several coats of deicer, a desperate attempt at pouring water over it while imagining what Paul might say if I shattered the windows, and eventually using my bank card to hack my way in, we were off.

    I had to drive carefully what with the ice rink roads, and ended up having to call the hairdresser en route to say I was late.
    She is my brothers fiances mum, and she does my hair in her own house, so it wasn't too bad. She told me shed have the kettle on which was great because I felt like I was coming down with hypothermia.

    I eventually arrived and was supplied with many cups of tea but no food and Id forgotten to eat breakfast. We chatted about the wedding and the plans a lot, and laughed at my brother because hed took it upon himself to book the entire week of the wedding off work. Not to help out at all, but to prepare himself for his big moment walking me down the aisle.

    While I was there I had a call to say the suits had arrived at Slaters, so we let my brother know, and he was the first to go and collect his suit. He text me to say it all fit perfectly.

    My hair was finished at 2pm,and I was given strict instructions not to wash it until Saturday ~~(remember its only Monday) to keep the colour vibrant. I have dark hair with purple highlights, the purple washes out pretty quickly.

    So I paid, told my future sister in law and her mum Id see them at the wedding (surreal) and off I went to collect the kids.

  • Oh I remember that wobble. How stressful that must have been. Good that you got all your original suppliers.

    Not WASHING your hair for a week? Argh! Lol

    Can't wait to read your report

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Continued

    After picking the kids up I went home to get Paul, whod now finished work, and we went straight into town to try the suits on.

    It was here that everything started to go really down hill.

    I took Charlie into a changing room, unzipped the bag, and thought that the shirt looked very short. I decided it was supposed to be like that because it was getting tucked in.
    I was wrong.
    The shirt was ridiculously too small, the trousers were like hobbit length, the waistcoat was enormous, to the point you could fit 2 kids in it, and the jacket was too big.

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    Maybe it was because I was hungry, but I marched out of the changing room with Charlie with a face like thunder and gestured to the girl like "WTF is this?"

    She visibly flapped for a moment, before decided that the suits had been mixed up, and Charlie was wearing his little brothers suit instead. Upon inspection of the other suit, it became cler theyd just fucked up majorly when we came in for measurements a fortnight earlier.

    Harveys suit was also all wrong.

    image

    New measurements were taken and new suits were promised asap.

    Then it was Pauls turn. Luckily, his suit fit perfectly. The only problem was the rip in the sleeve. I politely pointed this out to the girl, and we were given a £100 discount and a new jacket was then ordered.

    So out of 4 suits tried on, so far 3 were wrong. We weren't feeling hopeful that the others would be ok. We decided that Paul would have to spend the evening driving around Liverpool taking the suits to the various men in the wedding party and getting them tried on.
    The only problem then was that one of the best men was working away in London and wasn't going to be back until Friday for the rehearsal.

    We took the suits home and grabbed some donuts from a stall on the way, which were wolfed down in the car, and went home.

    Paul did what he could that evening. One usher needed new trousers because hed rather impressively gained 2 inches round his waist in a month! The FOG and SFOG both could of done with new shirts because they were tight on the neck, but they decided to put up with it and unbutton the shirts after photos. The other best mans suit was fine.
    He also picked up my mums hat which she kindly delegated to us.

    Maybe TMI but its all relevant because it added to the huge amount of stress I was feeling, as I was getting the kids ready for bed I had my first encounter with a tapeworm  Apparently these are extremely common in nursery children, but Id never seen one in 8 years of motherhood, and years of working in nurseries and primary schools. And just my luck, here is one, the week of the wedding, when were run off our feet, wriggling around during bedtime nappy change.

    So when Paul got home I sent him to bed because he was up at 4am for work, and I set off on an 11pm trip to the chemist to sheepishly ask for wriggly bum worm treatment.
    I then dosed everyone is the house up and, feeling massively stressed, spent a few minutes writing a schedule for the coming week, this usually really helps me focus and relax, but I anything it just highlighted how behind I now was.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Tuesday 12th December - 5 days to go

    Another bitterly cold day dawned, but thankfully Id stocked up on deicer after the chemist trip the day before.

    I dropped the older 2 off at school at 9am, went home and had breakfast with Harvey, and the plan was to be back at school for 10am to watch Hazels nativity. Its her last year in infants, and therefore her last ever nativity, so as unideal as the timing was, I had to go.

    Id arranged to my stepdad to come straight from his nightshift and try his suit on, but he didn't arrive until 9.45, and spent absolutely ages trying it on. Luckily it all fit, and he took it home with him.

    I was then late for the nativity, and ended up stood at the back with an extremely large toddler on my shoulders. I was incredibly grateful for the weight training Id been doing, but still ended up with a sore neck and shoulders for a few days.

    image

    Once the nativity was over, it was home time, to make lunch, then back out to drop Harvey at nursery. I am self employed, so I went straight to my client for 2 hours, then after the drive it was time to collect the kids again. Those 3 hours go nowhere!

    Paul went to the gym, while he was out I had admin to do. I called up Slaters and gave them the size for the ushers new trousers. I tried to call the florist whod left me a message asking me to call about the "final finish", I never managed to get in touch with her, so still not entirely sure what that meant!
    My dress shop rang to say theyd collected my dress from the shitty seamstress and inspected it, and it all looked ok, she wanted to catch up. I ended up ranting a bit about how uncooperative the seamstress was, and how nothing Id asked for had been done etc. The lady apologised and was very nice, and we made arrangements to collect my dress on Thursday.

    After sorting the tea out I had a go at drawing the guest fingerprint tree, with Hazel watching me intently and being generally off putting. It didn't take long but I decided it was off centre and needed to be redone at some point, so I put it away.

    Then I had to pay the cake lady. Id meant to do this the evening before but what with the suit dilemma it didn't get done.
    By now it was raining, and it was forecast to rain most of the week. I went out with my unwashable hair in the drizzle and paid for the cake, but unfortunately the baker is very chatty and kept me there for ages telling me all about her mums cancer treatment no longer working, which is a conversation you cant politely cut off.

    By the time I got home I was exhausted and went to bed.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    As you can see from the photo above Id had a bit of a breakout the week before and although it was clearing up, I was concerned that the stress would cause more breakouts. I had a couple on my back as well which is unusual for me, and I had a low back dress so I was keeping a close eye on the situation and really concentrating on my skincare and tea tree oil.

    Id realised that eating wasn't going to be a strong point for me that week, and I was also worried nutrition would cause skin problems, because I was judst not getting time to eat much, so was grabbing food on the go and as we know that's not generally the best idea.

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Eek! So excited to see your report xxx 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Tuesday again

    Ive remembered something else that was done at some point on Tuesday evening, the ceremony playlist.

    Paul had always insisted he wanted some tune from a final fantasy game played while people waited before the ceremony, I personally thought it was a dull and miserable tune but I wouldnt even be there, so I allowed it!

    We still had to decide other music though. Our church doesn’t have an organ or a choir, so we had to make a Spotify playlist and send it to the vicar, who’s son was downloading it to the church laptop to be played over the soundsystem. 

    I had 2 possibilities for music to walk down the aisle to, Paul wasn’t keen on either but it wasn’t his moment so he was allowed no more than an opinion.

    I also knew what I wanted to walk out of the church to, and had ideas for signing the register, and we’d agreed to carols instead of traditional hymns.

    But on Tuesday, Paul changed his mind about all the carols, decided he didn’t like any of the music already chosen and we spent 3 stressful hours basically starting from scratch.

    In the end I got the majority of the original songs, the only difference was he’s said he wanted a hymn called Greensleeves which reminded him of his childhood, which he’s very nostalgic about.

    So at that point he went to bed, and I began altering the order of service Id been making. It wasn’t until the Wednesday that I managed to check the Greensleeves lyrics and found it was about betrayal and heartbreak, so that got scrapped and we were completely back to the original playlist, with the added benefit of having wasted several valuable hours.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Wednesday 13th December - 4 days to go

    On Wednesday Id decided to go and sample some makeup. I left this late in the grand scheme of wedding plans because I couldn’t make my mind up between being tanned or pale.   I tend to prefer pale skin but I do like to change my look to tanned sometimes and couldn’t decide which would look best in an ivory dress.

    I decided on pale because I didnt want to risk the slightest streak, orangey photo, or fake tan whiff on my skin.

    So me and Harvey set off to boots after dropping the kids at school. I went to the estee Lauder counter and quickly explained to the girl that I was there to test foundation for my wedding on Sunday because my makeup artist had flaked out. She stared at me with her mouth open for ages and I started to think I’d said something horribly wrong or she was looking at my face thinking there was no hope for me without professional work, when she finally spoke and told me she was shaking and horrified and wanted to know how I was so calm.

    She say me down and gave Harvey sweets, and set to work testing foundations. I’d gone to estee Lauder after recommendations on this forum, and because my maid of honour had it and it was lovely on her. It turns out it isn’t lovely on me though, it was dry, cakey and patchy. The girl confessed that she felt the same way about it and prefers Lancôme, so she took me round to the counter and we started again. During our chat I decided she must be my long lost sister because we both liked the same makeup style and both liked to swap between pale and tan and pretty and gothic. She also had a daughter the same age as mine, and she complimented my eyebrows and lips ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

    I really liked the lancome so I took a sample of it,  and then I brilliantly described the lip colour I wanted “bright pink but a bit purple”, the girl picked out the perfect colour straight away and applied it for me, wished me luck and off I went.

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    Next stop was Next (see what I did there) to buy some little flower girl gifts of kids perfume, then home to make Harvey’s lunch and get him to nursery.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Wednesday continued...

    Then it was eyelashes time. I really overcompensated for the travel time due to roadworks and ended up being 30 minutes early. But apart from that there’s no much to say about this process. I hadn’t had the eyelashes done before (a mix of Russian and semis) because I hate people near my eyes, but it was either that or worry about strip lashes on the day.

    I didnt hate the application as much as I’d imagined, and I was pleased with the result, but felt very weird for a few days. Ive hater wearing them though, they’re mostly still on now, and In the run up to the wedding I stopped sleeping on my belly to try and preserve them, which meant my sleep was rubbish and I was tired. I also didn’t rub my eyes at all which drove me mad because I do enjoy a good eye rub and scratch. All this was unnecessary torture because since the wedding I’ve been rubbing, scratching, pulling, fiddling and Ive even cut them because they’re soooo irritating, but they’re still bloody there!

    Anyway, eyelashes done, I went home and completed yet another school run ๐Ÿ™„

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  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Ooh Mrs J I love that lip colour! Can I be cheeky and ask the shade name/colour? 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Wednesday again...

    While Id been busy with all this, Paul received another dropout. We’d already had 2 after final numbers had been confirmed paid for, and had contacted the venue to be told there no regunds and we couldn’t use the money for anything else, so this wasn’t welcome news.

    This particular guest had been messing us about, RSVPing a definite yes, then saying she couldnt make it, then she could but only to the meal, then the whole thing, then finally dropping out completely with a few days to go. I was particularly pissed off about this, because we now had 3 spaces to fill, but luckily we did it by inviting my friend and her partner who I’ve grown closer to lately, and was the one of the last 3 standing at the hen do (inc me and MOH) after all my close friends and family, and a single girl who is also friends with quite a few of the guests so wouldnt be lonely.

    I hadn’t had my table plan finalised or printed because I was expecting drop outs. very lucky because I had to completely rearrange things after the 3 changes. But there was still another I was wary off because she’d been in and out of hospital with pregnancy complications. So I rearranged the rough table plan and left it at that...

    The replacement suits for Paul and the kids had also arrived that day, so Paul went to collect them when I got back from the school.

    That evening the best man, Mark, proved his worth by driving home to Liverpool from London to try on his suit before the deadline for any changes, then drove straight back to London for work the next day, what a star!

    In anticipation of his visit (and knowing the absolute state of my bedroom with wedding stuff EVERYWHERE) I set up a little changing room in Harvey’s bedroom.

    When Mark arrived I was banished downstairs while the boys where upstairs. Seriously, it takes men agessss to get suited up and I was so impatient, this was the last suit, and I was anxious to see the fit, and Mark is my favourite of the groomsmen apart from Paul so I just wanted to see him looking handsome.

    After waiting forever and creeping halfway up the stairs I was allowed to see and thank god, the suit fit perfectly. It also occurred to me that I could now try the bridesmaids dresses next to the tie and hanky colour. This was a dodgy moment, because Paul had ordered aqua which the shop girl suggested based on a photo of the dress, but when I took the boys for measurements a few weeks previously I’d looked at the shades of green and made a change, choosing a new one based on memory and pure luck. I had been doubting myself so much because the dresses look a different colour every time I see them.

    But the moment of truth arrived, and I can smugly say that the colours were an utterly perfect match, I couldn’t of got closer if I’d had them custom dyed.

    Then it was time to try the replacement boys suit, and luckily they were fine. Phew! We were now just waiting on the ushers replacement trousers.

    I topped off a successful evening by setting up the second tree centrepiece and carefully wrapping and storing it, ready for its journey to the hotel.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017
    FutureMrsThomas wrote (see post):

    Ooh Mrs J I love that lip colour! Can I be cheeky and ask the shade name/colour? 

    Of course! It’s Lancôme Rouge in Love 379N. I want to strongly recommend that lipstick, even in another shade. It lasted so well but is a little drying. I put lip balm on and let it settle, then the lipstick, and it lasted hours, even through food, drink and lip balm going over the top. I reapplied it once quite late into the evening. It didnt even transfer with kisses once it had settled.

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Ooh thank you! I have been using Mabelline Matte lip stain but find it's not enough colour. Going to Cardiff in February to get shoes for the flower girls and pageboys so will have a look then! X 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Oh and Wednesday was also the day the dry shampoo made the first of its many appearances ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข I usually wash my hair every other day so Wednesday was the first day I really wanted to wash my hair, I really dont like dry shampoo but all I can say is thank god for that and woolly winter hats!

  • PottyPotty Posts: 512 New bride

    Yayyy!!! I’ve only just found this bad boy! So excited for more!!!!! Xxx

    Married September 2018, Baby due October 2019.  
  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Thursday 14th December - 3 days to go

    Thursday was the first day that felt really weddingy to me, although it was loooong day and not exactly enjoyable. It was also the last day I updated my planning thread if I remember rightly, so if you were a reader, this is the last repetitive bit

    So to begin with it, it was dry shampoo and the usual school run, home for a quick bit of housework and breakfast, then I had to take the dog to the vet. Shed been spayed 2 weeks earlier and was due back for a check up and was supposed to get her cone off ready for kennels on Saturday. This didn't go to plan, shed lost weight and her internal stitches were poking out a bit, so they were tucked back in and the area glued, and she had to keep her cone on and be kept quiet for another week, which wasn't ideal with the kennel situation, but there was absolutely no chance I was having her around on the wedding morning getting hairs all over and jumping on everyone. Nope nope nope.

    After the vets I quickly made lunch for Harvey, dropped him at nursery, then went for my eyebrow wax and tint. As I said I hate people near my eyes, but it was worth it because my eyebrows were lovely and dark and neat afterwards.

    That morning we had 2 more dropouts. One of these was the lady I mentioned who had been having pregnancy complications, and the reason Id held off on the table plan, the other was her partner. We were gutted to learn that she had given birth to her little boy at only 25 weeks pregnant, which as anyone whos had a baby will know, and others can imagine, is not good news at all. We knew there was some hope, he was viable, he could survive, but he had a long and difficult road ahead. We saw a photo of him and he looked so small and red, but he was alive and fighting and that was what mattered.
    But it meant trying to find 2 more guests. I asked my mum to invite her best friend and her husband, who Id known all my life, and waited.

    Once my eyebrows were done I finished editing the order of service and sent it to the printers. I didn't do the table plan because we were still waiting for those replacement RSVPs to come back. I knew the printers was closed at the weekend, so I resigned myself to making it by hand. I made a start, using the font Id used on the invitations for the table name titles, and my own standard handwriting for the guests names. This wasn't completed, it was a long process. I had to trim the card to fit the frames, then I had a template which I folded into quarters so I could use it to find the middle point on each piece of card (some were portrait, some landscape), then I marked lines faintly with pencil, then got to work with a sharpie. I got a couple done, starting with the tables unaffected by the changes.

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    I did that until it was time to pick the kids up, who I pretty much threw them through the front door along with the car seats to Paul, because it was time to collect THE dress! I put the back seats down and set off.

    The drive was an absolute pain in the arse. It started to rain not long after I left, and quickly became torrential. There were roadwork 95% of the way, with lanes on the motorway closed, and 50MPH speed checks. Even the street the dress shop was on was gridlocked and had road works. I crawled down the street, failed to find a parking space, and ended up chancing double yellows a few shops down because I didn't want to carry the dress too far in the rain.

    It was all worth it though when I walked into the shop and saw this:

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    I didn't even recognise it as my dress at first, Id never seen it look like that before. I had a quick chat and hug with the dress shop owner, she bagged my dress up, and I hurried off with it to get it safely out of the rain.
    I didn't have a parking ticket either which was good!
    I was in the car literally indicating about to pull out when the lady appeared at my window with the hoop, which wed forgotten!

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Thursday continued...

    With everything safely in the car I set off to my mums, the route is basically a big circle from m house, the shop, my mums, and mine again. Lo an behold, the road works continued all the way to my mums, and I already knew they continued after that too.

    Paul started to call, getting stressy because hed bought cinema tickets for that night and was going to miss the film. He had to rearrange in the end because the journey was just ridiculous.

    I eventually got to my mums, and it became clear she was terrified of the dress. She had offered to store it in her spare room because I don't have one in my house, and I wanted it out of its bag away from Paul and my kids. But her spare room is home to smelly animals, shed promised, and in fact told me that she had moved the animals out and scrubbed the room in preparation.

    I got there and as soon as she opened the spare room door I could smell rat wee really strongly, because all 8 of them were still in there! Not only that but there was rat poo all over the floor!

    There was a brief discussion, and the rats were moved out, the floor was cleaned, and the windows were opened while I stood holding my dress in my arms. I was unimpressed, but I literally didn't have anywhere else to take the dress. It was a slight concern of mine that Id be walking around on my wedding day stinking of rat piss.

    Eventually the dress was hung right infront of an open window, removed from its bag, and the train fluffed out, and I was straight back in the car to relieve Paul of his fathering duties and send him to the cinema. The traffic was horrendous even upto the junction that our estate is on, Ive never seen it so bad. But I arrived home to a chicken kebab (yesss but see what I meant about wedding week nutrition?!), Paul went out, and I put the kids to bed.

    The fun wasn't over yet though. My maid of honour, Diana, or Di, had arrived home from London and was coming round for me to do her hair colour, and to help me with wedding jobs.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Thursday Evening

    As soon as Di arrived and the kettle had boiled, I sat her down with some invisible string and acrylic snowflakes while I set to work on her hair. She was laughing because Id written her a to do list and cut the string to length. She soon stopped laughing when she realised how fiddly it is to thread clear string through a tiny clear snowflake!

    We decided, in the face of our to do list, not to blow dry her hair once the colour was done, she was wrapped up in a towel and the work continued. Once the snowflakes were done it was time for favour boxes. Id already folded up 25 out of 60 odd, so we folded the rest, threaded the ribbon and cut up silver tissue paper, then wrapped 2 guylian chocolates in paper for each box and tied the bows.
    This was the worst, the very worst. It took ages, and we were advance cursing the guests who would abuse their boxes by carelessly ripping them open. It took hours. We managed to work things out so that we each had 2 chocolates as a reward at the end.

    image

    image

    But we weren't finished yet! Oh no. Out came the invisible string again, and it was time to thread baubles, and decorate the 2 remaining trees. We did a tree each and Paul returned home to find us sat on the floor surrounded by boxes and mess, making finishing touches.image

    it was at this point that the dog ruined my life by vomiting all over the kitche. Thank god Paul had got home, he was tasked with the clean up,

    The trees were finished at about half past midnight, and I let Di go home. I bagged the trees up and put them away under the stairs, tidied up all the boxes, and then decided 1am was an ideal time to start painting.

    Wed made a postbox which was glittered white and silver, but Paul decided it was too small. So wed bought another, bigger one from hobbycraft, and I wanted to paint it white and decorate. I stayed up until 4am doing coat after coat of paint (during which time I had to deal with more dog vomit, which included and long strip of fabric she’d chewed off her bed) but it was a streaky horrible mess and I had to accept it wasn't working and come up with another plan, before going to bed to worry about it.

  • MoggleMoggle Posts: 556

    Yaaas, so glad to come on and see you‘ve started your report! Loving reading about your buildup so far 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Friday 15th December - 2 days to go

    On Fridays I do a 4 hour job with an indian family who cook the most amazing smelling food, but the downside is I always leave with my hair and clothes smelling strongly of onions, garlic and spices.

    Paul dropped me off there and then took the car on a hunt for white and glitter spray paint for the postbox. This was his first day off having finished for Christmas and we had a lot to do, some of which (boring house buying stuff) he did while I was working.

    He collected my fragrant self and we went to pick up the order of service. I ordered 25, which were in a sealed box, handy for delivering to church later that night when we went to the rehearsal, with a sample taped to the top of the box. I was really pleased with them, considering they were a last minute Microsoft word job. Id used a template sent to me by a bride on this forum, and I was so pleased with the final thing.

    Straight from there we picked up the kids and went shopping for shoes. Paul had ordered all the shoes but hed forgotten the boys. We tried Next first, they had 2 pairs of brown leather formal shoes but they were both light tan whereas the men had dark brown. We weren't overly keen and decided to try a few more shops before buying, but we were roped into buying a leopard top by Hazel, who is obsessed with big cats.
    Then we went to Marks and Spencer. We couldn't see any brown shoes but spotted some navy suede ones, we decided these would be nice with navy suits for the little ones, and tried a few pairs on, bought them, then went to boots to pick up my make up.

    It was a different girl on the counter this time, and I explained again, and said what Id sampled, but I felt the foundation had been a bit dark last time when I went out into natural light. She tried a new one on me, which was better, but I find foundation tricky. I'm quite yellow toned and find most pale foundations to have a pinky undertone, so I doubt everything. I made Paul inspect me thoroughly, but hes a man, so you never know. I eventually made the plunge, and bought my lipstick, the foundation but was a given a ample to use the next day so I could swap the big bottle if I wasn't 100% happy with the colour, and a sample of an illuminating primer, and a free mascara.

    We then went home to cook dinner, and I had a shower and did my best with the hair situation. By now it was beyond repulsive, and my stomach was turning. It looked ok when tied back, but all the under layers were so dirty, and hung in solid rats tails. I was absolutely desperate to wash it, only one more day!

    It was so surreal to think that the rehearsal was that evening. I really didn't feel like I was getting married any time soon, Id been to busy all week to really think about the actual day, I was completely focused on my to do list, not the wedding itself.
    A weird thing was that Id had a block of halloumi in the fridge for months, and the use by date was 15.12.17. Id been looking at it and thinking that it was weird that by the time the cheese went off Id be having my wedding rehearsal, and Id watched this date creep closer and closer and imagined how Id be feeling. In truth I was tired, but otherwise felt completely normal. And I never had time to eat the halloumi.

    I managed to make myself look quite nice considering the hair thing, and wore a navy dress with a red and coral leaf pattern and boots, and off we went to the rehearsal, still not feeling anything in particular.
    Paul was a bit stressed, quite a bit in fact, and had been annoying me, I think we actually argued but I don't remember why, I do remember telling Di that I knew he was nervous because of the argument though.

     

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Friday 15th December - Rehearsal Time!

    We arrived at the church (Paul stressed about where people would park, would they know to park in the car park over the road? Had I told them the right time? Was I sure it was 7pm, because he knows what I'm like and I'm always wrong? Was I absolutely sure? Well where was everyone then?)
    Then my brother, Michael pulled up next to us so I left Paul to his weirdness and got out to say hello.

    Then my stepmum and sisters (bridesmaids) arrived, and other people started getting there, so we walked across and went into the church.

    This seems like a thousand years ago so I don't remember every detail. I think the vicar, Alan, asked everybody to sit down, and me and Paul had to go to a little side area to check once again that all the details on the forms were correct. I also gave him the box with the order of service in, he was also impressed. There were some latecomers, best man Chris, and bridesmaid Laura, but once everyone had arrived we had finished the chat.

    Then it was time to begin. Me, my brother, the kids, and my bridesmaids had to go and wait in the little porch thing, while Paul and the best men went through whatever it is they do.
    There was a brief protest from the bridesmaids who decided they wanted to walk down in twos and were trying to tell me what a good idea it was, but Id chosen a long song and wanted them to go separately because I prefer the look. We arranged everybody in order, and we had the song ready on my phone, wed decided to try and walk down in 30 second instalments. It didn't sound a lot, but that's what rehearsals are for.
    We were given the all clear, the music started and we waited to let the music play for a bit. Then the 2 flower girls went. Then the page boys. It then became clear that 30 seconds was too long, which meant a hissed discussion about the proper length of time, we timed my sister walking, and decided 20 seconds was perfect to allow the aisle to clear of whoever was in front, so each bridesmaid had the aisle to themselves.
    We followed this rule the rest of the way, and it worked out well. We decided to allow me and my brother extra time so that all the bridesmaids were in place.
    My brother was in a mega rush to get down the aisle, and I had to rein him in and tell him a few times to slow down.

    We then were all in a little cluster at the altar, and practised handing over bouquets and who is needed etc etc.
    Most of the ceremony was ran through very quickly, we didn't practise any hymns or readings, the readers weren't there that night so there was no point, although one of my bridesmaids caused a bit of a "what are you doing?" moment by getting up and volunteering herself as a stand in incase the readers were unable to attend on the day, and standing up at the altar with a microphone, before being told to sit down because they definitely would be there.

    When it came to practising vows I couldn't stop smiling. I could see Pauls eyes well up so I accidentally interrupted him to tell him he was crying, then I felt the need to repeatedly tell him my cheeks were hurting. Apparently this meant it was my fault when he got mixed up and said the wrong things

    Again, I grinned like an idiot through my practise but Paul was well behaved and didn't interrupt.

    We eventually went into a separate room to practise signing the register. Di was signing as was Pauls brother, Chris the best man. We also decided that on the day wed ask Mark to come in too as he was also a best man, and he was most trustworthy to look after the marriage certificate.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Rehearsal Continued


    We then discussed walking out, and I tasked the best men and maid of honour with protecting my veil from mere mortals. I always stand on veils, so I wanted to make sure karma didn't get me.
    The vicar suggested Di walked out linking a best man on each side, at which point, in a church, she made a very inappropriate joke to the vicar that she liked a man on each side. Oh Di...

    Then we walked out and it was like an assault. Suddenly I had about 4 or 5 people shouting in my face, the main culprit being my mum. She was telling me shed decided where everybody would sit, and she had decided that she was on the front row, while the bridesmaids were behind, and who was looking after which child and on and on and on. I cant remember what anyone else was saying, just all these loud voices.
    I told my mum no, that the front row was for Michael and the bridesmaids, that the vicar had already talked about this with us, and that was the way it was done. She started acting like she was going to cry and saying she was sitting at the front at her daughters wedding, and just would not listen that the front row needed to be clear for Michael and the bridesmaids when they walked down the aisle.
    I was annoyed that as soon as Id walked out I had her in my face telling what to do and that shed obviously been telling everyone else what to do while I wasn't there. The vicar at this point went to the altar and sat down with arms folded watching my mum disapprovingly.
    The bridesmaids were all being very polite and offering to sit in the second row, but Michael was on my side saying they couldn't be squeezing past people and struggling into spaces, and the front needed to be clear.
    This went on and on, and it was just embarrassing. Eventually I said to my mum she could sit on the front at the end furthest from the aisle, but an extra seat would need to be added  because the bridesmaids and Michael were at the front, end of.

    This left a sour taste in my mouth while saying goodbye to everyone. But Laura cheered me up by giving me a bath plank. This is bit of wood that sit across the bath and has indents and grooves to hold tealights, a tablet, a wine glass and various other pieces, which shed had engraved for me.
    The vicar then gave us some pew ends to use, left behind by another bride, and I decided to take them home for ironing because they were really creased. I asked my mum if shed do it but she said no, she was far too busy getting ready for the wedding, and Id have to do it myself. Fair enough..

    We all then went our separate ways, Di came back to ours to help with boxing up.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Friday 15th December continued

    Once the kids were in bed there were a few more jobs to do. Mainly wrapping glass things up and boxing everything ready for each table. This was surprisingly quick and painless, so I moved on to hanging the bridesmaid dresses and wraps while I asked Di to separate the confetti. Paul was watching this intently and insisted that he do it.
    I suggested that he could put it in the box and swirl it around a bit, but he knew a better way. He tipped the confetti into the box (a nice decorative box btw), put the lid on and started to shake it vigorously. He then dropped it, it exploded mid air, and covered the living room in confetti.

    After a lot of laughing and piss taking, he decided to go to bed, I told him no, he had to pick up the confetti. He disappeared for a minute and came back with a dustpan and brush and actually tried to sweep an entire weddings worth of confetti into the bin! As if we had replacements!
    We told him off and helped him pick it properly and put it in the box, before sending him to make a cup of tea and then go to bed.

    Once all the boxing was done and everything organised, I let Di go home, and I set to work ironing the pew ends. This took ages, but I did them all (no idea how many) and I hung them all on a coathanger in the hall by the front door so I wouldn't forget them the next day.
    Then it was bedtime at 1am ready for an early start and a busy day.

  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride

    I‘m loving reading your report, I’m dreading the run up with Xmas and the kids so it’s nice to hear how everything falls into place.

    Can’t wait to read about the day! 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017
    MrsGtoB wrote (see post):

    I‘m loving reading your report, I’m dreading the run up with Xmas and the kids so it’s nice to hear how everything falls into place.

    Can’t wait to read about the day! 

    I’m not quite sure it fell into place, it was more forced and crammed into place ๐Ÿ˜‚ it’s all my own fault for leaving everything until last minute but it seemed to go from “I have 4 weeks to do these little jobs, plenty of time“ to “oh... I have 6 days to do everything” overnight!

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Saturday 16th December - Wedding Eve

    My first thought on this day was that at some point I was going to wash my hair and it was going to be fabulously light and swishy again, and that I was never going to moan about hair washing and drying ever again.

    My second thought was how tired I was, and thank god it was almost over.

    Almost.

    First we had to take the boys to the barbers. This is a team effort unfortunately because the shop is up a very steep and rickety flight of stairs and Harvey needs supervising while Paul gets his hair cut. Paul, Charlie and Harvey got silky smooth while Hazel swept the floor, the kid loves cleaning, and I sat and watched for an hour. The barbe, Wayne, gave all 3 kids a selection box and a Christmas cracker, and off we went.

    When we arrived home my nan was waiting to clock on for her days babysitting duties.

    Paul then had to take the dog to the kennels (hallelujah, peace at last) so I sat and finished the guest tree which I’d forgotten about. Id decided to do a black outline for now, and shade a bit of detail after the wedding because a) I didn’t want to make it too heavily shaded and the ink fingerprints not show and b) time was up.

    I then finished the table plan because our final RSVPs had come in that morning.

    Paul arrived home and we loaded all the trees and boxes and what not into the car (only one car and trip required, yay!) and then we set of, driving very carefully while grimacing at the tinkling and clinking of the glass baubles on the trees.

    On the way we stopped at the church to pay, the vicar asked if I was ok after my mums behaviour the night before, gave me a hug and told me he’s see me tomorrow.

    Outside the church I saw this little fella, a robin redbreast. We always say we see robins and blue tits when my grandad is around (I had an entire flock on blue tits in my garden on my birthday morning, in November).

    image

    Then we were back in the car and driving to the hotel, I was on edge the whole time listening to the baubles, and was convinced wed have some casualties. We even took a different, longer route to avoid potholes.

    Everything arrived miraculously unbroken and we unloaded it into a little side room off the hotel lobby. A lady then brought 2 trolleys down, it was all loaded on, and taken upstairs.

    Me and Paul then headed down the road to Costco, which was absolutely packed. It took ages to park, and was so crowded inside. We were there for buffet food, so we bought a tray of cookies, a tray of shortbread, a chocolate cake, red velvet cake, and quite a few boxes of sweets, but nowhere near enough variety. Oh and Paul’s favourite pretzels. He got 2 bags, one for the buffet, one for the hotel that night.

    I joined the cafe queue while paul paid, and we were soon in the car wolfing down hotdog (no breakfast again).

    At this point Laura, one of my bridesmaids was messaging me asking if she could help. She was In town and wanted to buy things. She found loads more buffet sweets and umbrellas, because Sunday’s forecast was now very definitely rain.

    image

    We went for purple spots.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Wedding Eve

    After Costco we went back to the hotel to drop the buffet stuff off, then Paul drove me to my nail appointment, while he went and did hotel check Ins and sorted suits and packed his bag etc.

    During my nail appointment I started to get nervous for the first time. I think it was because it was the first chance I had to sit down and relax. I talked and talked and talked to Olivia, the nail tech, to keep myself distracted. I ended up knowing her life story and all about her little boy and her ex partner not spending enough time with him etc. But still there were lulls, and I got butterflies in my stomach every time it went quiet. I didn’t like it 

    I got my phone out and called the carriage company to change my open top carriage to a coach due to the forecast, and I drank as much tea as I was offered (a lot) because Id also been struggling to find time to drink that week.

    By about 5.30pm my nails were finished and I was in love with them. They were a pearly soft of warm white, although they look silver or champagne in the pictures I’ve seen.

    image

    Paul and his usher, Ste, were waiting outside in the car for me, ste had brought me some Disney films to watch that evening (he owns every Disney film ever made). Then we drove to the hotel (a different one to the wedding hotel) and I dropped them off.

    There was then a very heartfelt goodbye, we made some excited “ooooh” noises, I warned Ste, a heavy drinker, to be sensible with my lightweight groom, then Paul went to kiss me but licked my face instead ๐Ÿ™„

    And then they were gone, and I went home.

  • MrsStateMrsState Posts: 178

    Loving the report so far, you had such a busy run up - definitely superwoman! Your nails were gorgeous - so pretty! 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Wedding Eve

    That night Charlie and Harvey were staying at my nans, while Hazel was staying with me and Di. I packed their bags and then noticed the post box. Paul had sprayed it at some point that morning, and it looked horrendous. He’d run out of white spray halfway through, and the glitter was really patchy.

    I advised my Nan we’d be going to hers via hobbycraft, where I was going to buy a birdcage and be done with it.

    I got to the till in hobbycraft and the cashier started making conversation and out came the postbox disaster story. Turns out we’d been doing it all wrong, and I ended up buying another tin of spray paint instead of the cage.

    I got back in the car, and was greeted by the sight of next all lit up in the dark, and realised I’d forgotten to buy the matching knickers to my bra, which was a pale pinky nude. My nan and kids were abandoned again while I ran in. I couldnt find the exact pair but got 2 others and took them to the till, asking the girl which colour was nude because they were different and I couldn’t tell. Apparently neithe, one was champagne one was pink. Another girl came to the underwear section to help me, they didn’t have the bra in store but I found a picture and she said she’s go and look in the back to see if they had a similar colour. While I waited I rang Di and told her what I was doing, and that Id drop my nan off then pick her up. We decided I was the worst bride in the world, panic buying knickers the night before my wedding.

    The girl returned and amazingly she had found the exact matching pair in my size! I thanked everyone, and paid, probably the weirdest customer of the day.

    My nan and boys were soon dropped off, and Di collected. 

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